Xa abahlobo bakho abaselula befuthe iingcamango okanye ukuziphatha komntwana wakho, oko kukunyanzela oontanga . Le mpe mbelelo inokuba yintetho, ingabonakali okanye ingabi nakwaziyo kwinxalenye yabangani bakho. Olu xinzelelo lunokuthi lube nefuthe okanye lube nempembelelo ekuziphatheni kwentombazana yakho. Uxinzelelo lwabaontanga lunempembelelo enamandla, okufuneka uyiqonde ukuze uncede ukukhusela umntwana wakho ekwenzeni izigqibo ezinobungozi ezenziwa phantsi kolawulo lwalo.
Ingcinezelo yontanga yesantya ichaphazela njani umntwana wakho? Intombazana yakho ngokukhawuleza ifumanisa uthando lokusebenza kwimeko yokuzivocavoca emva kokulala embhedeni. Intombi yakho egqoke ngokugqithiseleyo ngoku ifuna ukutshiza iinwele zakhe eziluhlaza. Kuqhubekani? Abantwana bakho basenokuba banengcinezelo evela kubahlobo babo ukwenza oko benzayo. Wamkelekile kwingcinezelo yontanga yesibini.
Kutheni ku namandla kangaka?
Njengabantu, sonke sihamba kwiinqanaba zophuhliso. Njengengane, umntwana wakho kufuneka afunde ukuba uthembekile kwaye uza kukunyamekela zonke iimfuno zakhe. Njengomntwana osemtsha, umsebenzi wakho ngumsebenzi wokwenza ikhefu kuwe kunye nempembelelo yakho kwaye uhlakulele ingqondo ehlukile. Ingxenye yale nqubo ivela ekuboneni nabazali kunye nexabiso labo kunye nokuchonga ngezinye iindinganiso zontanga. Abahlobo baba luleke kakhulu, kwaye ukuhambelana neqela labahlobo kuwumsebenzi obalulekileyo ngeli nqanaba lophuhliso.
Yingakho abahlobo bakho bomntwana banempembelelo enkulu, "bazama" iingcamango ezahlukeneyo, iingcamango, kunye nendlela yokuphila aba bahlobo. Akunjalo wena-isiphetho sabo, ukuthetha ngentuthuko.
Kodwa Ngaba Kufuneka Kube Nesivinyo SoMnxeba?
Abahlobo bakho beentombi bentombazana banokukhathazeka ngomhlaba baze bafake uxinzelelo, ngenjongo okanye kungenjalo, kwintombi yakho eyayiyingozi.
Xa eqala ukuphinda abuyele kwaye ahlawule ngokuchitha imali yakhe, uxinzelelo lwaontanga lubonakala luhle kakhulu. Ngelishwa, uxinzelelo lwentlalo aluhlali luba nefuthe elihle. Emva kokufumana ugwayi ebusweni lendodana yakho, uxinzelelo lwaontanga lubonakala lutshaba. Kutheni engakwazi ukubona indlela elikhethiweyo eli khetho?
Uyakwazi ukuthetha ngokutsha ukuba ukutshaya kuyingozi, kodwa ingqondo yakhe ingasilungele ukunyanzela izenzo zakhe xa kuthelekiswa nemiphumo. Ingqondo yomntwana osemtsha isengumsebenzi oqhubekayo. Ihlala ifuna amava amatsha kodwa ayinako ukuthetha, "Hayi, ukutshaya kubonakala kupholile kodwa andifanele ukuba kungabi kubi kum." Ukongezelela, ingqondo yeshumi ibonakala ibinemfuno ephezulu yezinto ezintsha, ezonwabileyo kunye ukuvuselela okukhulu kunokuba kwenzayo njengoko sikhula. Ngamaxesha amaninzi, amava amnandi, amnandi kunye namava amaninzi aguqulela ekuziphatheni komngcipheko ophezulu. Ngenxa yokuba ingqondo yentsha ifuna ukuvuselelwa okutsha kwaye ayikwazi ukubeka ikhefu ingcamango embi, isiluleko somhlobo "sokuzonwabisa" ngokupenda umzobo kwisikolo esiphakamileyo sizama, kungakhathaliseki nemiphumo.
Indlela Yokujongana Neengcinezelo Zontanga Ebi
Iqhinga elingenakuyicinga ukuzama ekulweni nxamnye noxinzelelo lwontanga olusebenzisa isicwangciso "sesigqibo".
Iingxubusho ezininzi zengcinezelo yontanga ziquka ukufundisa izakhono zakho zokunqaba umntwana, njengokuba uthetha ntoni xa umntu ekunika iziyobisi. Kukho ingcamango yokuba ukufundisa ezi zakhono zokugatya akusebenzi ngendlela esebenzayo njengokuba usebenzisa imfundo esemgangathweni. Isicwangciso esiqhelekileyo siquka ingxoxo enyanisekileyo malunga neengxaki zokuziphatha ngokubhekiselele ekuziphatheni okuyingozi - into eyenziwa yintsana yakho eyenzekayo nxamnye nenyaniso. Intombi yakho yentombazana inokuziva ngathi iyintombi yokugqibela kwisikolo sayo esiphakamileyo kuba bonke abahlobo bayo bathetha ngamava abo esondo. Izibalo zibonisa ngonyaka emva konyaka kangangokuba malunga nesiqingatha sabashumi e-United States balala ngesondo ngeli xesha bashiye isikolo esiphakamileyo.
Intombi yakho inokuvakalelwa ingcinezelo engathandabuzekiyo kwintsapho yakhe malunga nokulala ngesondo, kodwa into eninzi ayiyiyo ayiyinyaniso. Ukuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba afunde inyaniso malunga nokuba kaninzi kangakanani abantwana abasenqumeni ezi zigqibo eziyingozi bangamxelela ukuba akayedwa - into ayifunayo ngokupheleleyo.
Wena ungomnye weempembelelo ezinkulu kwintsapho yakho. Kungabonakala ngathi abaphulaphuli, kodwa kunjalo ngokwenene. Xa abazali behlala bebandakanyeka kubomi babo abantwana, abantwana babo bathambekele ekuzikhetheleni ngokwabo. Izifundo ezininzi ziye zaxhasa le mabango, ngokungakholwanga njengoko kubonakala kweli nqaku. Hlala unomdla kwaye ubandakanyeke kwinto eyenziwa ngumntwana wakho kwaye uqhubeke uqaphela oko akhuphayo. Hlangana nomyalezo wakho malunga nokulindela kwakho. Ukuba ulindele ukuba akayi kusela, ukutshaya, ukwenza iziyobisi okanye ukulala ngesondo, akakwazi ukwenza njalo-into elula njengaleyo.
Imithombo:
> Ulwaphulo lokuLungisa utywala. Imiba Yomntwana. NgoSeptemba 6, 2008. https://web.archive.org/web/20130329055530/http://www.childtrends.org/lifecourse/programs/AdolescentAlcoPreventionTrial.htm
> Denscombe, Martyn. Uxinzelelo lwamaqela oontanga, abantu abaselula kunye nokutshaya: ukuphuhliswa kweNtsha kunye neNkqubo yeMigaqo-nkqubo. " Iziyobisi: Imfundo, Ukuthintela kunye noMgaqo-nkqubo. 2001 8 (1): 7-32.
> UHrrman, uJudith W. "Ubunjengebuntwana Njengomsebenzi Wentuthuko: Impembelelo yabahlengikazi bezonyango." Uncedo lwabahlengikazi. 2005 31 (2): 144-148.