Iingcebiso Zokuhlala Unyanisekile
Kungathatha ixesha ukufumana unyawo lwakho njengomzali osandul 'umzali. Xa uphakathi kwempikiswano, ngaphakathi kwakho okanye kunye nawe, sele kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba ungubani kwaye uyintoni na. Yiloo nto umzali ongabodwa onengqibelelo.
Abazali abangabodwa kunye nokunyaniseka
KwimiSebenzi eyisixhenxe yabantu abaPhezulu , uDkt. Stephen Covey uchaza intembeko ngokuthi "ukugcina izithembiso nokuzalisekisa okulindelekileyo." Ukugcina ingqibelelo kugcina ilizwi lakho, xa lilungele kwaye xa lingekho.
Kuqinisekisa ukuba izenzo zakho zifanisa oko uthe uthe uya kwenza, kwaye kubandakanya ukugcina igama lakho kubantwana bakho, yakho yangaphambili, kunye nosapho lwakho olude-kwakunye nawe. Makhe sihlolisise ezinye iingcebiso malunga nokuba ungatshatanga njani umzali onengqibelelo kuyo yonke imingeni ojongene nayo.
Ngezinye izihlandlo, ukugcina igama lakho kubantwana bakho nokugcina igama lakho kwi-ex yakho lingaphikisana. Kwaye ukutsala-kwimiba emibini okanye ngaphezulu-kwenza kube nzima ukulawula ingxabano kunye nengqibelelo. Njengoko uMnuz Scott Scot Peck, umbhali weNdlela engezantsi ehambele , uthi: "Ingxaki yokwahlula into esiyiyo kunye neyona nto ingabangela uxanduva kulobu bomi ingenye yeengxaki ezinkulu zobomi babantu."
Yintoni eyenza izinto zibe nzima nakakhulu kukuba unokuba ujongene nemfazwe ekhuselekileyo yokulwa okanye umzali onobambiswano onaloo ajenda yakhe. Ukuba unxamnye nohlobo lobudlelwane bobudlelwane bobuhlobo, sele sele uqhelana nayo yonke into yokuguqula izinto ukuze uzenzele le meko okanye uphakamise umdlalo kumdlalo wonke.
Amandla okunyaniseka kwabazali abangabodwa
Ngoko yintoni i-antidote yongquzulwano lwangaphakathi nolwangaphandle? Ukuphendula ngengqibelelo. Kwaye ukuba umzali ongenamzali uthetha ukugcina izithembiso zakho, ngoko kufuneka ucace ngokucacileyo malunga nezithembiso. Umzekelo:
Ithembiso kubantwana bakho . Mhlawumbi uzenza izithembiso zamagama kuzo zonke iintsuku, ezinjengokuthi "Siza kubona i-movie kule veki," okanye "Ndiya kuba ngumdlalo wakho." Kodwa ezinye izithembiso zikhona ngaphakathi kwakho, kwaye uhlala kuzo, nokuba ngaba awuzange uthethe ngokuzwakalayo.
Umzekelo:
- Ndizibophezele ekukhuthazeni abantwana bam ukuba babe nolwalamano olunentsingiselo kunye nam.
- Ndiyathembisa ukuba ndivumele abantwana ukuba bangabantwana. Andiyi kubanyanzelisa ukuba bakhule ngokukhawuleza ngokuzifihla ngokuphathelele kwimibandela yam yabantu abadala.
- Ndiyayithanda abantwana bam ngokungenamthetho, kwaye ndifuna into ebhetele kubo ngaphezu kokuba ndifuna into engcono kum,
Ithembiso kwixesha lakho elide . Mhlawumbi awuzange uthethe ezi zithembiso ngokuvakalayo, nokuba, kwaye kulungile. Ezi zizithembiso ozenzayo kwinzuzo yakho yezingane, kungeyakho. Imizekelo ibandakanya:
- Ndiza kuxhasa ubudlelwane bam bokuqala nabantwana bam.
- Andiyi kuxoxisana ne-ex yangu phambi kwezingane zam.
- Ndiya kuwuphatha umzekelo wam, ngendlela efanayo, ndingathanda ukuba (okanye yena) undiphathe.
Uthembisa kwiintsapho zakho zakudala . Ezi zibophelelo nazo zinenzuzo yengane yakho. Ziquka:
- Ndiya kubakhuthaza abantwana bam ukuba babe nolwalamano nabazali bam bokuqala kunye namanye amalungu entsapho.
- Andiyi kubambelela intsapho yam ex ejongene nokuziphatha kwayo. (Emva kwakho konke, njengomntu omdala, lakho elide lijongene nokukhetha kwakhe.)
- Ndiya kubaphatha, ngendlela efanayo, ndingathanda ukuba bandiphathe.
Uthembisa kuwe . Ezi zithembiso ziphathelele ukuzithobela ngentlonipho, ezinokuba nzima xa ujwayele ukunganakwa okanye udibanwe ngokucacileyo.
Imizekelo yezi zibophezelo ziquka:
- Ndiza kuzijikeleza nabantu abancedisayo nabakhuthazayo.
- Andiyi kuguqa kwinqanaba lam ex.
- Ndiye ndagqiba ekubeni ndithathe indlela ephakamileyo kuba oko kungcono kubantwana bam kunye nam.
Kutheni kubalulekile ukuthembeka
Ukuba ngumzali ongenamzali onengqibelelo kubalulekile, nokuba ngaba udidekile okanye ungumhlolokazi, nokuba u-ex wakho ugcinwe ngu-50-50 okanye ungabonakali kangangoko kubantwana, nokuba ngaba wayenalo ubuhlobo obusondeleyo kunye naye okanye uhlale ungumzali oyedwa. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba zeziphi iimeko zakho, uya kujongana nxamnye nendlela. Kwaye ukusingatha loo mpi ngempumelelo kunokukwenza izinto zibe nzima kakhulu kubantwana bakho kunye nawe.