Ukukhulisa Abantwana Abaphumelelayo
Ukuba ungumntu ongatshatanga, nomzali, kwaye ucinga ngokungena kumtshato omtsha onzulu okanye "ukuxuba" intsapho yakho, mhlawumbi unenkxalabo eninzi. Enye ingxaki enkulu kukuba indlela yakho yangaphambili iyakwazi ukujamelana nobuhlobo bakho obutsha. Kwiimeko ezininzi, umlingane wangaphambili okanye umzali we-biological angabangela uxinzelelo lwentsapho kunye nentlungu. Eyona nto ibhetele, wena nabo bonke abadala kwintsapho yenu babelane ngenhlonipho kwaye nenza ukukhulisa abantwana abanempilo, bekhuselekile ngokomoya njengoko nibangela ulwalamano olukhuselekileyo phakathi kwamakhaya.
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Ubuhlobo obunempilo kunye nentlonipho yobudlelwane bomzali bunokwenzeka ngokupheleleyo ngenjongo nomonde.
Oku kuthetha ukuba bonke abantu ababandakanyeka ebomini babantwana bakho bathetha ngokuzithobayo nangenhlonipho, bahlawule kwaye bathathe ixesha, babuyele amathoyizi, iincwadi kunye neengubo, musa ukusebenzisa abantwana njengemodemu yokufumana ulwazi okanye ukucwangcisa nokuthetha ngokuthe ngileyo malunga neyokuqala kunye nezitsha iqabane. Ngamnye wenu njengabazali bajonga ukuvelisa abantwana njengemigudu yeqela. Unobungqangi kwaye uncedana ngokucwangcisa kunye nokunyamekelwa kwabantwana. Ukuhlawula izikolo kunye nemisebenzi iyahlukana ngokulinganayo, kwaye uyakucinga ukuba ungayisebenzisi abanye abazali.
Ukusebenza okuphezulu, abazali-co-parent ba khuselekile kubantwana bakho. Abantwana bakho banako ukuguquka ukusuka kwindlu enye ukuya kwelinye ngaphandle komdlalo. Baziva bekhuselekile ukuba nolwalamano kunye neesethi zabazali. Okona kubaluleke ukuba abantwana bakhule bathemba ukuba abantu abadala ebomini babo babeka inzondo yabantwana kunye nokukhusela phambi komsindo womzali, umona okanye ukunyaniseka.
Abantwana akufanele bavelele kwiimvakalelo ezimbi zabantu abadala kunye nokuqhawula umtshato. Abantwana kuphela kufuneka bazi ukuba bathandwa kwaye bakhuselekile.
Ukuba ungumzali okhuselekileyo, umzali-co-osebenzayo ophezulu, ngoko kwizinga le-1-10, u "10". Ukuziphatha kunye neenjongo zakho kuxhaswa ngumzamo weqela lozali-ntsebenziswano.
Ukongezelela, abazali be-biological bavakalisa ukuxabisa ngabazali abanyathelo-ncedayo kunye nenkxaso kubantwana nakwabanye.
Ngokudala intsebenziswano, ubume bentsebenziswano phakathi kwentsapho, uzinika abantwana bakho ithuba elingcono kakhulu lokuba nomoya ophilileyo kunye nokuzinzileyo. Unceda abantwana bakho bazive bekhuselekile bethatha ingozi efanelekileyo neyimfuneko ebancedayo. Abantwana baphumelela xa beyazi ukuba banendawo ekhuselekileyo neyothando kumakhaya onke apho babonakala khona, beva baze bazive bengabani.
Ingozi zobudlelwane obubi
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuba wena okanye wakho umlingane wangaphambili, okanye umzali we-biological asebenzi njengeqela kwaye asebenze ngokuzikhethela imizamo yokwenza umzali, ke wena okanye wakho osekuqaleni ungowomnye umva we-scale, ufumana "1" okanye "2. "U Ukuba uphikisana ne-ex yakho phambi kwezingane zakho, usongela ingozi, okanye uzibandakanye ekuqhubekeni okanye ukuvimba, ubangela uxinzelelo lwengqondo kubantwana bakho.
Ukungalungi okanye ukuxhatshaza umzali onomzali kubangelwa yintliziyo kubantwana bakho abaneempembelelo ezide. Kuya kuba nefuthe elibi kumtshato wakho omtsha. Xa omnye umzali we-bio enomsindo kwaye ephazamisekile, ekhupha i-ex ukuya kwiintsana, ehlupha umlingane omtsha we-ex kunye nokuthetha ngokucacileyo ngezinto ezilimazayo ngomnye umntwana wengane, abantwana bahlupheka, uhlupheka kunye neqabane lakho lihlupheka.
Abantwana kufuneka bazive bekhuselekile ukuba babe nolwalamano nabazali bobabini. Ukuba umzali omnye ufuna ukunyaniseka komnye umzali, abantwana bafakwa kwisimo esingenakulinganiswa. Umntwana ngamnye u-1/2 womzali ngamnye. Xa ufuna ukuba abantwana bakho badibanise omnye umzali, abantwana banomdla wokuzonda / ukuhlalisa i-1/2 yabo ngokwabo, kubangela ukuba amanxeba angqubuzanayo angqubuzanayo.
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ulwalamano ngo-1-3 kwinqanaba lokubambisana, qalisa ukubuza ukuba wena kunye nomlingane wakho unokwenza njani ulwahlulo olubhekiselele kumakhaya. Mhlawumbi ubuze umzali we-bio ukuba nantoni na enokuyenza ukuze wenze indawo ephephile kubantwana.
Ndiyakhuthaza ukuba ufune uncedo kunye neengcali zentsapho ukudibanisa imiba engumzali onobubele xa kuyimfuneko.
Ukuba uqinisekile ukuba wenze yonke imizamo yokusebenza ngokubambisana ngokubambisana, kwaye yakho yangaphambili ayiyi kuba ngumdlali weqela, ngoko kukho imfuneko yokumisela imida eqinile phakathi kwezindlu. Oku kungathi ukuthabatha nokuyeka i-offs esikolweni okanye kwiindawo zoluntu kuphela. Umzali osasazwayo we-biological hayakwamukelwa emnyango wakho, okanye endlwini. Yonke inxibelelwano yenziwa ngetekisi okanye i-imeyile. (Kukho ezinye iinkqubo ezigqwesileyo ezenza oku kube lula). Yonke inxibelelwano ichanekile ngokucwangcisa kunye nentlalo-ntle yabantwana.
Enye indlela yokulimaza umzali wokuqala okanye umzali onokuthi angene kuyo usebenzisa inkqubo yenkundla ukuba ajezise okanye ahlale enobudlelwane obubi nomzali we-biological obangela uxinzelelo lwezemali noxinzelelo. Kule meko, wena kunye neqabane lakho nifuna ummeli weentsapho onokukunceda ukuba uzikhusele.
Ukuba umntu ogqithiseleyo uyaphikisana ngokukhethekileyo kwaye kujoliswe kumlingane wakho omtsha, ngumsebenzi wakho ukumkhusela. Ukuba wakho umgqatswa uqala ukutshatyalalisa lakho iqabane elitsha, kufuneka ugqibe oko. Umbono wakho wokuqala weqabane lakho elitsha alibonakali. Ungadinga ukukhusela imidiya yoluntu, ii-imeyile, iinombolo zefowuni egameni lakho. Wena, njengoko umzali we-biological kufanele asebenze yonke intetho ngokubhekiselele kubantwana abanomzali we-biological.
Unokulawula kuphela oko kwenzekayo endlwini yakho. Ukuba udala indawo ekhuselekileyo yokuxhasa abantwana bakho, wenza okusemandleni akho kwiimeko ezinzima. Abantwana bakho ekugqibeleni baya kukhula baze baqonde ukuba ukhona kuzo. Awukwazi ukutshintsha okwenzekayo kwenye indlu, unokugxila kuphela ekudaleni indawo ekhuselekileyo ekhayeni lakho.
Ukuba wakho umlingane wangaphambili wenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukuba ahlukanise abantwana bakho kuwe, ngoko ngumsebenzi wakho ukwenza yonke imizamo yokugcina ubukho ebomini babo. Kufuneka usebenzise inkqubo yenkundla ukugcina ukuvakasha. Ininzi, musa ukuyeka. Abantwana kufuneka bazi kwaye banomuva wokulwa kwakho konke okusemandleni ukuba ube nolwalamano nabo. Gcina umkhondo wemizamo yakho, unokufuneka ubonise ubungqina ngosuku olunye xa bekhulile.
(I-Caveat: Ndibhalela oku kubambileyo ukuba bonke abazali bakhuselekile, akukho mntu uxhatshaza abantwana ngesondo okanye ngokwasemzimbeni.)
Umlinganiso woBasebenzi oManyeneyo (1-10)
- 10 - iindwendwe eziphezulu ezisebenzayo
- 1 - ephantsi, ngokulwa, engakhuselekanga ngokomzwelo, ukunyanzelisa, ukuxhatshazwa
Iimpawu zokuSebenza okuPhezulu, oNxibelelwano loMzali Okhuselekileyo
- Hlonela
- Flexible
- Efanelekileyo
- Ukuxhasa
- Uhlobo
- Nziswano
- Khu seleko
- Imida ephilileyo
- Gxininisa kwimpilo yabantwana
- Ukuzithoba, isicatshulwa esinokuthintana phakathi kwamakhaya
- Abantu abadala baceba kuphela, akukho bantwana ababandakanyekayo
- Abantu abadala bayabahlonela malunga neqabane elitsha kunye nomtsha
- Abantu abadala baxubusha abantwana bakhuselekile kwaye balungele ukuba nolwalamano nomnye umzali we-bio kunye nosapho lwabo
- Abazali be-Biological baxabisa imizamo yomzali-nyathelo kwaye bavakalise ukuba abantwana
Isiphumo esinokuthi sinabantwana abanokuzimelela ngokomzwelo , ukulungelelanisa nokuzimisela ukuthatha ingozi efanelekileyo. Banabantu abaningana ebomini babo abanqwenela ukuyeka yonke into baze bavelele. Kukho izibonelelo ezininzi ezifumanekayo kubantwana: uthando, ixesha lemali kunye nokucebisa. Bahlakulela iinkqubo zokuzivikela ezikhuselekileyo kwaye "ukhuseleko lweendlela zokuncedisa" ngokwabo njengoko bathandwa kwaye bazive bekhuselekile.
Iimpawu zokuSebenza okuNcinci, ukuKhathazeka ngokuPheleleyo kunye nokuSondeza koMzali
- Ukutshatyalaliswa kwangaphambili
- Ulaka, ukuvavanya kwindlu
- Isitayela soqhagamshelwano esikhulu, isithukuthezi, ukudibana, ukuhlahlisa
- Ukusongela ngokwenyama, bavelise ingozi kunye nokungazinzi
- Ufuna ukunyaniseka ngaphezu kobantwana
- Ulwalamano lwabantwana beSabotages kunye nolwalamano olutsha lwangaphambili
- Akukho ukulungelelanisa
- Awuhlawuli inkxaso nenkxaso yengane ngexesha
- Ayithatha abantwana ngexesha, uthembisa umsebenzi wezingane kwaye akabonakali
- Ukusebenzisa inkqubo yenkundla ukuba ijezise umlingane kunye nomtsha omtsha
- Awubuyiseli iimpahla, amathoyizi kunye neencwadi
- Ukucaphuka kunye nobushushu malunga nobudala bakhe nobuhlobo bakhe obutsha
- Ukusebenzisa abantwana ukuthetha, isicwangciso, ishedyuli
- Iipompo abantwana malunga nolwazi lomntu siqu kunye neqabane elitsha
- Sebenzisa abantwana njengenkxaso yemvakalelo yemvakalelo yabantu abadala
- Intrinsically engaphephile emoyeni kubantwana
Isiphumo esinokuthi sinokukhubazeka, ukuxhalabisa ngokwemvakalelo, ukuphepha okanye ukuthintela izitayela ezenziwe ngabantwana. Abantwana banenkxalabo yobomi beemvakalelo ezinzulu, ezixhathisa umlutha kunye nobunzima obuninzi obudibanisa nabalingani bomtshato. Amajoni abo omzimba athambekele ekukhutshweni ngokwemvelo ngokuxhalabisa nokungazinzi. Basenokungakhuselekanga ukuba bathathe ingozi, okanye bathathe ingozi engafanelekanga eyingozi okanye eyingozi.
Uyabona ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukwenza zonke iinzame zokwenza umzali-codi ngendlela efanelekileyo ngenxa yabantwana bakho. Akunakwenzeka ukulawula i-ex (okanye omnye umntu), kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba wenze utshintsho ngokwakho. Mhlawumbi wakho owokugqibela uya kulandela. Inxalenye ebalulekileyo yokukhumbula kukuba ukwenza njalo kuya kunceda abantwana bakho baphumelele, kwaye umtshato wakho omtsha uphila.