Thatha amanyathelo okunceda abantwana bahlawule ngokukhawuleza
Njengoko umtshato uphazamiseka, abanye abazali bafumana bebuza imibuzo enjengaleyo, "Ngaba kufuneka sihlale kunye kunye nezingane?" Abanye abazali bafumana isahlulo kuphela.
Kwaye xa bonke abazali banokuba neengxakini ezininzi kwiingcinga zabo-kwixesha elizayo kwiimeko zabo zokuhlala bengenakuqinisekiswa kwenkqubo yokugcinwa kweso sikhundla-banokukhathazeka kakhulu malunga nendlela abantwana baya kuthatha ngayo umtshato.
Ngoko yintoni imiphumo yengqondo yokwahlukana kwabantwana? Abaphandi bathi kuxhomekeke. Nangona uqhawulo-mtshato lubangela uxinzelelo kubo bonke abantwana , abanye abantwana bahlawule ngokukhawuleza kunabanye.
Iindaba ezilungileyo kukuba, abazali banokuthatha amanyathelo okunciphisa imiphumo yengqondo yokuqhawula abantwana. Amacandelo ambalwa axhasa amacebo okuzala angahamba indlela ende ekuncediseni abantwana ukuba batshintshe kwiinguqu ezenziwe ngumtshato.
Unyaka Wokuqala Emva koqhawulo-mtshato luyinto engathandekiyo
Iingxabano zedlato ziye zenyuka kwihlabathi lonke kwiminyaka embalwa edlulayo. Kulinganiselwa ukuba ama-48 ekhulwini labantwana baseMelika nabaseBrithani bahlala kumakhaya omzali onomtshato omnye oneminyaka eli-16.
Njengoko unokulindela, uphando lufumene ukuba abantwana bayabambana nzima kakhulu kunyaka wokuqala okanye ezimbini emva komtshato. Abantwana banokuhlangabezana noxinzelelo, umsindo, ukuxhalaba nokungakholwa. Kodwa abantwana abaninzi babonakala bebuyisa. Zifumana ukutshintshwa kwimihla ngemihla yazo kwaye zikhula zikhululekile kunye namalungiselelo abo okuhlala.
Abanye, nangona kunjalo, akwenzeki ukuba babuyele "kwizinto eziqhelekileyo." Le pesenti encinane yabantwana inokuhlala iqhubeka-mhlawumbi nangona-iingxaki emva koqhawulo lwabazali babo.
Ingxabano Yengxabano Emotional In Kids
Ukwahlukana kudala ingxakiniso yentsapho kuyo yonke intsapho, kodwa kubantwana, imeko leyo inokuyikrakra, idideke kwaye ikhungathekise:
- Abantwana abaselula bahlala bezama ukuqonda isizathu sokuba bahambe phakathi kwamakhaya amabini. Basenokukhathazeka ukuba ukuba abazali babo banokuyeka ukuthandana ngelinye ilanga, abazali babo bangayeka ukubathanda.
- Abantwana besikolo seBakala bangakhathazeka ukuba umtshato usisiphoso sabo. Basenokuba besaba ukuba baphoswe okanye bangacinga ukuba benza into engalunganga.
- Abaselula banokuba nomsindo kakhulu ngokuqhawula umtshato kunye neenguqu ezenzayo. Basenokumangalela omnye umzali ngenxa yokutshatyalaliswa komtshato okanye banokumkhathaza omnye wabazali okanye bobabili abazali ngenxa yokuphazamiseka kwintsapho.
Kakade, imeko nganye ihlukile. Kwiimeko ezinzima, umntwana unokuziva ekhululekile ngenxa yokuhlukana-ukuba ukwahlukanisa kuthetha ukuphikisana okuncinci kunye noxinzelelo oluncinci.
Iziganeko ezixinezelekileyo ezinxulumene noqhawulo
Ukwahlukana ngokuqhelekileyo kuthetha ukuba abantwana balahlekelwa ngumzali omnye-rhoqo ngababawo. Ukuqhagamshelana okunciphisayo kuthintela ubhondi bomzali nabantwana kunye nabaphandi bafumene abantwana abaninzi bazive bengaphantsi kooyise emva komtshato.
Ukwahlukana kwathintela ubuhlobo bomntwana kunye nomzali osisigxina-ngokuqhelekileyo umama. Abanonophelo bokuqala babedlala amanqanaba aphezulu oxinzelelo ochaphazelekayo kunye nabazali abangabodwa. Uphononongo lubonisa ukuba oomama bahlala bexhaswa kakhulu kwaye bebanomdla emva komtshato.
Ukongezelela, uphando lubonisa ukuba uqeqesho lwabo luya ngaphantsi kwaye lusebenza kangangoko.
Kwabanye abantwana, ukuhlukana kwabazali akuyona inzima kakhulu. Esikhundleni saloo ndlela, izixinzelelo ezihamba kunye nazo zenza ukuba umtshato uqine kakhulu. Ukutshintsha izikolo, ukuthuthela kwikhaya elitsha, kunye nokuhlala nomzali omnye onokuziva ekhwankqile kakhulu nje ngezona zimbalwa zengcinezelo ezongezelelweyo ezenza umtshato uqine.
Ubunzima bezemali buqhelekile emva kokuqhawula umtshato. Iintsapho ezininzi kufuneka zithuthele kumakhaya amancinci okanye ziguqule ummandla kwaye zihlala zinezinto eziphathekayo ezimbalwa.
Ukutshata kwakhona kunye nokulungiswa okuqhubekayo
EUnited States, abaninzi abantu baphinda bashada emva kweminyaka emine ukuya kwemihlanu emva komtshato.
Oko kuthetha ukuba abantwana abaninzi banyamezela utshintsho oluqhubekayo kwintsapho yabo.
Ukongezwa komzali onyathelo kwaye mhlawumbi ubuninzi beenyawo ezinokuthotyelwa kunokuba olunye utshintsho olukhulu. Kwaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo abazali bobabili bayatshata, oku kuthetha ukuba utshintsho oluninzi lwabantwana. Inqanaba lokungaphumeleli kwimitshato yesibili liphezulu kuneemitshato yokuqala. Abantwana abaninzi banamava amaninzi kunye nokuhlukanisa iminyaka.
Ukwahlukana kwaMeyi kungandiselela ingozi kwiZingxaki zezeMpilo yengqondo
Ukwahlukana kunokunyusa umngcipheko weengxaki zempilo yengqondo kubantwana nakwi-adolescence. Kungakhathaliseki ubudala, ubulili kunye nenkcubeko, uphando lubonisa ukuba abantwana bazali abaqhawule umtshato bafumana ingxaki yengqondo.
Ukwahlukana kungabangela ingxaki yokulungiswa kwabantwana abasombululayo kwiinyanga ezimbalwa. Kodwa, uphando luye lwafumanisa nokudandatheka kunye neengxaki zokuxhalaba ziphezulu kubantwana abavela kubazali abahlukanisile.
Ukwahlukana kwaMeyi kungabangela iingxaki zokuziphatha
Abantwana abasuka kwiintsapho eziqhawulekileyo banokufumana ingxaki yokugqithisa iingxaki, ezifana nokukhathazeka kokuziphatha, ukungafani, nokuziphatha okungaphethekanga kunabantwana abavela kwiintsapho ezimbini zomzali. Ukongeza kwiingxaki zokuziphatha ezikhulayo, abantwana banokufumana uxhathiso olungakumbi kunye noontanga emva komtshato.
Ukwahlukana kungahle kuthinte iNgcaciso yeMfundo
Abantwana abavela kwiintsapho eziqhawulekileyo abaphumelelanga ngokusemthethweni. Uphononongo lubonisa abantwana kwiintsapho eziqhawulekileyo kwaye banamanqaku aphantsi kwimvavanyo yokuphumelela. Uqhawulo lwabazali luye lwadibaniswa namazinga aphezulu kunye namazinga aphezulu okulahla.
Abantwana Abazali Abatshatyalaliswayo Kunokwenzeka ukuba baKhuphe iingozi
Abantwana abancinci nabazali abaqhawule umtshato banakho amathuba okuziphatha, njengokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi kunye nemisebenzi yesondo yokuqala. EUnited States, abatsha abazali abaqhawule umtshato baphuze utshwala ngaphambili kwaye banike ingxelo ephezulu yokusela utywala, i-marijuana, icuba kunye nokusetyenziswa kwezidakamizwa kunabalingane babo.
Iintsholongwane ezenziwa ngabazali abaqhawule umtshato xa beneminyaka eli-5 ubudala okanye abatsha babesengozini enkulu yokuziphatha ngokwesondo ngaphambi kokuqala kweminyaka eyi-16.
Iingxaki ezinokuthi zandiswe ngabantu abadala
Kwincinci elincinci labantwana, imiphumo yengqondo yomtshato ingapheli. Ezinye izifundo zidibanise umtshato womzali ukwandisa iingxaki zempilo yengqondo, imiba yokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi, kunye nezibhedlele zezifo zengqondo ngexesha lobudala.
Izifundo ezininzi zinika ubungqina bokuba uqhawulo lomzali lunxulumene nokuphumelela ngaphantsi kwabantu abadala ngokuphathelele imfundo, umsebenzi kunye nolwalamano oluthandana. Abantu abadala abanolwazi lokuqhawula umtshato ebuntwaneni banamathuba athile okufumana imfundo kunye nokufumana umsebenzi kunye neengqesho kunye neengxaki zezoqoqosho.
Abantu abadala abanobudlelwane bomtshato phakathi nobuntwana banokuba nobunzima obunakumbi. Izahlulo zedlato ziphakamileyo kubantu abazali babo abaqhawule umtshato.
Abazali badlala indima ebalulekileyo kwindlela abantwana abajongene ngayo nokuqhawula umtshato. Nazi ezinye izicwangciso ezinokunciphisa umtshato wesahlulo se-toll kubantwana:
- Umzali onxibelelana ngokuthula. Ingxabano enkulu phakathi kwabazali iboniswe ukwandisa ukukhathazeka kwabantwana. Ubundlobongela obuninzi, njengokumemeza nokwesongela omnye kudibaniswe neengxaki zokuziphatha kubantwana. Kodwa ingxaki emncinci inokunyusa ukukhathazeka kwengane. Ukuba unzima ukuzibandakanya nomzali wakho wokuqala, cinga uncedo lobuchwepheshe.
- Musa ukubeka abantwana phakathi. Ukucela abantwana ukuba bakhethe umzali abayithandayo okanye ubanike imilayezo yokunika abanye abazali akufanelekanga. Abantwana abazifumanayo babanjwe phakathi bafumana ithuba lokudandatheka nokuxhalabisa.
- Gcina ulwalamano oluhle nomntwana wakho. Ukunxibelelana okulungileyo, ukufudumala kwabazali, kunye namazinga aphantsi okungaxhamli kunokunceda abantwana bahlengahlengise ukuqhawula umtshato ngokubhetele. Ubuhlobo obunempilo bomzali nabantwana buye lwaboniswa ukunceda abantwana bahlakulele ukuzithemba okuphezulu kunye nokusebenza okungcono kwezemfundo emva komtshato.
- Sebenzisa ukuziphatha okufanayo. Ukuseka imithetho efanelekileyo kwaye ulandele imiphumo xa kuyimfuneko. Izifundo zibonisa ukuqeqeshwa ngokufanelekileyo emva kokuqhawula umtshato kukunciphisa ubugqwetha kwaye kuphuculwe ukusebenza kwezemfundo.
- Jonga ulutsha ngokusondeleyo. Xa abazali baqwalasela ngokunyanisekileyo oko abakwenzayo abaselula kunye nabani abachitha ixesha labo, abantwana abaselula abakwazi ukubonisa iingxaki zokuziphatha emva komtshato. Oku kuthetha ithuba lokunciphisa ukusebenzisa izinto kunye neengxaki ezimbalwa zemfundo.
- Ukuxhobisa umntwana wakho. Abantwana abangathandabuzekiyo ukukwazi ukujongana neenguqu kunye nalabo abazibona njengamaxhoba angenakunceda abanakho ukufumana iingxaki zempilo yengqondo. Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba nangona usebenza ngokuqhawula umtshato, kunzima ukulawula.
- Fundisa izakhono zokujamelana. Abantwana abanezicwangciso zokusebenzisana ngokusebenzayo, njengezakhono zokuxazulula iingxaki kunye nezakhono zokulungiswa kwengqondo, zilungelelanisa ukuqhawula umtshato. Fundisa umntwana wakho indlela yokulawula iingcamango zakhe, iimvakalelo kunye nokuziphatha ngendlela ephilileyo.
- Nceda umntwana wakho azizwe ekhuselekile kwaye ekhuselekile. Ukwesaba ukulahlelwa kunye nokuxhalabisa ngekamva kunokubangela uxhalaba oluninzi. Kodwa ukunceda umntwana wakho azive ethanda, ekhuselekile, kwaye ekhuselekileyo kunokunciphisa umngcipheko weengxaki zempilo yengqondo.
- Yiya kwinkqubo yemfundo yabazali. Kukho iiprogram ezininzi ezikhoyo ukukunceda ukunciphisa umtshato umxhelo onabantwana. Abazali bafundiswa izakhono zokuqhelana nabazali kunye nezicwangciso zokunceda abantwana bahlangabezane nohlengahlengiso.
- Funa uncedo lobuchwepheshe. Ukunciphisa izinga lakho lokuxinwa kunokuba luncedo ekuncedeni umntwana wakho. Ziqhelise ukuzinakekela kwaye ucinge ngonyango lwentetho okanye ezinye izibonelelo ukuze uncede ulungelelanise utshintsho kwintsapho yakho.
Ngaba Abantwana Abangcono Xa Abazali Batshata?
Nangona ukuba umtshato uqinekile kwiintsapho, ukuhlala kunye ngenxa yodwa yabantwana akunakukhetha. Abantwana abahlala emakhaya abanengxabano eninzi, ubundlobongela nokunganeliseki, bangase babe mngciphekweni ophezulu wokuphucula iingxaki zempilo yengqondo kunye neengxaki zokuziphatha.
Xa ufuna Ukunceda Umntwana Wakho
Kuqhelekile ukuba abantwana bakwazi ukulwa neemvakalelo zabo nokuziphatha kwabo ngokukhawuleza emva kokuhlukana kwabazali. Kodwa, ukuba iingxaki zomntwana wakho okanye iingxaki zokuziphatha ziqhubeka, funa uncedo lwezakhono . Qala ngokuthetha nomntwana wengane yakho . Xoxa ngezinto ozikhathazayo kwaye ubuze malunga nokuba umntwana wakho unokudinga inkxaso engcali. Ukuthunyelwa ukuthetha unyango okanye ezinye iinkonzo ezixhasayo zinganconywa.
Ulwaphulo lomntu ngamnye luyakunceda umntwana wakho akhuphe iimvakalelo zakhe. Ulwaphulo lweentsapho luyakunconywa ukuba lujongise utshintsho kwiintsholongwane zentsapho. Ezinye iindawo zibonelela ngeqela lokuxhasa abantwana. Amacandelo enkxaso avumela abantwana kumaqela athile ukuba badibane nabanye abantwana abanokufumana utshintsho olufanayo kwisakhiwo seentsapho.
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> Donahue KL, Donofrio BM, Bates JE, Lansford JE, Dodge KA, Pettit GS. Ukubonakalisa kwangaphambili kubazali ukuXhobisa ubudlelwane: Impembelelo yokuziphatha ngokwesondo kunye nokuxinezeleka kwi-Adolescence. Umbhalo wezeMpilo yabantwana . 2010; 47 (6): 547-554.
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