Ukuqulunqa le ngxoxo kunokutshintsha ikamva lomntwana wakho.
Njengomzali, usenokuba uzive ukuba uyazi ukuba abantwana bakho bathanda emva kwesandla sakho ngezinye izikhathi. Uyazi ukutya abakwenayo ukutya, kunye nabo bahambayo. Uyazi ubuso babo xa bebuhlungu, kunye nezikhalazo abazenzayo xa bevuya. Ngamafutshane, ezi zizinto ozifuphi kakhulu kwihlabathi lonke.
Nangona kunjalo, abantu-kuquka nabantwana-bahlala beshintsha kwaye bahlakulela izinto ezintsha, ukwesaba, iingcamango neemvakalelo .
Ngoko ke, ukuba uqhubeke nokwazi abantwana bakho kunye nokuthemba kwakho, kufuneka uqhubeke ubuza imibuzo ukuqala iingxoxo.
Umbuzo olula othi, "Ufuna ukuba nini xa ukhula?" Kubonakala ngathi akunakunika ingqiqo enkulu, kodwa ukuba uqhubeka ukhuthaza ingxoxo malunga nesihloko, unokumangaliswa oko unokufunda .
Ezi ngqungquthela zengxoxo zinokukunceda ukuphuhlisa iimpawu ocinga ukuba zibalulekile ukuba umntwana wakho abe nelifa, njengokubulela, ukucinga, ukuvelana nokuzithemba.
Yenza le mibuzo xa usemotweni, kwitheyibhile lesidlo okanye kwenye indawo xa intsapho yonke ingagxininisa kwingxoxo. Unokwenza umdlalo omncinci-uprinte le mibuzo, uyinqumle ukuze baqoke iphepha kunye nomntwana bathathe umbuzo okanye ezimbini ukuxoxa ngalobo busuku.
Ingqungquthela Yengxoxo Ukuze Ukwazi Umntwana Wakho Ngcono
Ukubuza imibuzo ethile malunga namaphupha omntwana wakho, iimvakalelo, kunye neempawu kunokukunika ingqiqo enkulu kumntu okhulayo.
Inokukunceda ekuziphatheni izinto ofuna ukuzenza kunye nomntwana wakho okanye ungashiya ingxoxo ngokumangaliswa kukuba umntwana wakho ukhula waba ngumntu omhle kangaka.
Nazi ezinye zokuqala zengxoxo ezinokukunceda ukwazi umntanakho kwinqanaba eliphantsi:
- Ngubani umhlobo wakho omhle kwaye kutheni?
- Ziziphi iimpawu ozijongayo kubahlobo?
- Ucinga ukuba yintoni umgangatho obaluleke kakhulu umntu onako?
- Ucinga ntoni ngendlela abanye abantwana esikolweni abagqoka ngayo le mihla?
- Yintoni eyona nto ihlazo?
AbaQaleli beNcoko yokuThuthukisa ukuThuthukisa ubudlelwane beentsapho
Kubalulekile ukuba umntwana wakho abe nelilungu elibalulekileyo lentsapho. Kwaye kunokuba lunomdla ukufumana ingcamango yento umntwana wakho ecinga ngayo ngokuba yinxalenye yentsapho yakho.
Njengoko abantwana bekhula, bahlala bejonge iintsapho zabo okanye iintsapho zabo kwiTV kwaye bayazibuza ukuba bekuya kwenzeka ntoni ukuba bekhulile kwindawo ehlukile. Ngoko ke kunokuvulela amehlo ukuva iingcamango zabo kwizinto abazixabayo malunga nosapho lwakho, kunye nezinto ezinokuba zifuna ukuba zihlukile.
Esikhundleni sokuphikisana okanye ukukhusela izinto ezinokuba nzima ukuva, zibuze nje imibuzo elandelayo malunga nokokuphefumlela indlela yokucinga kwengane yakho.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, unokuhlonishwa ukuva ezinye zezinto umntwana wakho azixabayo ngawe okanye kwintsapho yakho. Nazi ezinye iimbuzo ezingabangela ukuba iingxoxo zenzondelelo malunga nentsapho yakho.
- Yintoni oyithandayo ngokuphathelele intsapho yethu?
- Iyiphi inkokheli yentsapho oyithandayo?
- Ziziphi izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu esikufundisile?
- Ngaba ucinga ukuba ukuziphatha kunye nemiphumo kwintsapho yethu inobulungisa?
- Ukuba unokwenza imithetho emithathu yentsapho, yayiya kuba yintoni?
- Ucinga ukuba ziphi iimpawu ezibalulekileyo zomzali?
- Yintoni esimele siyenze ngaphezulu njengentsapho?
- Yintoni oyithandayo kakhulu ngabazalwana bakho?
Abaqalayo beNcoko-ncoko Ukunceda Ukunyaniseka
Ukususela kwimpilo emzimbeni ephuculweyo ukuya kubuhlobo obuhle, uphando lubonisa ukuba ukubulela kunenzuzo ezininzi. Kodwa ukukhulisa umntwana onombulelo kwihlabathi lanamhlanje kunokuba nzima. Uninzi lwabantwana lunamathuba angaphezulu kunokuba alufunayo kwaye banokuthatha izinto ngokulula-njengethuba lokuya esikolweni-kunikwe imvume.
Ukubuza imibuzo ehlakulela ukubulela-nokwenza umkhuba wokunceda umntwana wakho abukele kwicala eliqaqambileyo-kunokuba ngumphambili wokukhulisa umntwana oziva ebulela ngayo yonke into anayo. Nazi ezinye iingxoxo zokuqala ezinokuqulunqa umbulelo:
- Ziziphi ezinye izinto oziva unombulelo namhlanje?
- Ziziphi ezinye izinto ongazidingayo, kodwa unwabile ngokwenene ukuba unayo?
- Ziziphi ezinye izinto ezilula ukukhalaza ngazo, kodwa ngokwenene sinenhlanhla? Umzekelo, iintsuku zokunceda zenza igadi zikhule kwaye zinike izilwanyana amanzi ukuba zisele.
- Ziziphi ezinye izinto ozenzayo ukuze abanye abantu bangabi nako okanye bakwazi ukuyenza?
- Ziziphi ezinye izinto andingenayo njengebhokhwe ovuyayo ukuba unayo?
Abaqalayo beNcoko yoNxibelelwano ukuNceda ukuphuhlisa ukucinga
Emva kokuba abantwana bezenzele ukuzenza udlala , ukusetyenziswa kwabo kwengcamango kungahla. Kodwa, unokunceda ukuphazamisa ubuchule babo ngemibuzo embalwa elula.
Nazi ezinye iinkozo zokuqala eziza kukunceda umntwana wakho abe yingcamango engakumbi.
- Ukuba unakho na amandla amaninzi, ingaba yintoni na kwaye kutheni?
- Ukuba ubhala incwadi, yayiza kwenzeka ntoni?
- Ukuba izilwanyana zakho zingathetha, zithini na?
- Nguwuphi umbala umbala owonwabileyo? Yintoni eyenza uvuyiswe?
- Ukuba uphumelele i $ 100, uza kwenza ntoni na?
Abaqalayo beNcoko yokuThuthukisa ukuNceda ukuphuhlisa imvakalelo
Abantwana banokubanjiswa ekucingeni ukuba nguwe kuphela umntu ochaphazelekayo. Unokulwa no-egocentrism ngokunceda umntwana wakho acinge ngakumbi ngabanye kunye nendlela abavakalelwa ngayo. Nazi ezinye iimbuzo ezingancedisa umntwana wakho ukuba abe novelwano :
- Ngaba unalo ithuba lokuba nomusa kunoma ubani namhlanje?
- Ucinga ukuba abanye abantu bazivakalelwa njani xa unomusa kubo?
- Ngubani ohlaselwa esikolweni okanye kwimisebenzi yakho, kwaye kutheni?
- Ucinga ukuba abantwana abakhakisayo bazizwa njani? Ucinga njani ukuba abantwana abakhathekayo bazive?
- Ingaba kukho nawuphi na umntu oye wangena ukunyamezela ukuba abantwana bahlekise?
- Ukuba unokutshintsha into enye ngehlabathi, ingaba yintoni na?
Abaqalayo beNcoko yoNxibelelwano ukuNceda ukuphucula amandla engqondo
Abantwana banokufunda ukuhlakulela isifo sengqondo ngokufunda indlela yokulawula iimvakalelo zabo, ukulawula iingcamango zabo , kunye nokuthatha isenzo esifanelekileyo. Ngekubeni kubalulekile ukubanika ukuzivocavoca rhoqo okubanceda ukuba bakhe amandla angqondo, ungabakhumbuza ngezicwangciso abanokuzisebenzisa ukuze baqine ngengqondo ngokubuza imibuzo ejoliswe kuyo. Nazi ezinye izinto ezinokuqala zokuxoxa ezinokubanceda abantwana ukuba bakhe amandla engqondo :
- Ucinga ukuba unomvakalelo onjani? Ukuthungatheka, umsindo, ukwesaba, okanye into ethile?
- Ziziphi ezinye izinto onokuzixelela xa ubuchopho bakho buxelela izinto ezingenakwenzeka ukuba zinyani, njengokuthi 'awuyi kuphumelela' okanye 'akukho mntu uyakuthandayo?'
- Uzenza njani ukwesaba kwakho?
Abaqalayo beNcoko yoNxibelelwano ukuNceda ukuphuhlisa ukuCamngca kokuziphatha
Ukubuza imibuzo malunga nemiba yokuziphatha kunokunceda umntwana wakho azi ixabiso lakhe kwaye ahlakulele ukuziphatha . Nazi ezinye iinkwenkwezi ezimbalwa zokuqala zengxoxo ezinokukunceda umntwana wakho acinge ngeendlela zakhe zokuziphatha.
- Ukuba wakho umhlobo ubalekele ukuzisa isidlo sakhe sasemini kwisikolo, ngaba abanye abantwana behlala behlala naye?
- Ngaba kulungele ukukhohlisa esikolweni okanye kwimidlalo?
- Ngaba kukho na ixesha eliya kuba lilungile ukuba umntu?
Abaqalayo beNcoko yokuThuthukisa ukuThuthukisa ukuThembela
Kubalulekile ukuba abantwana baqonde iitalente zabo, ubuchule kunye nezakhono. Ukubuza imibuzo ebanceda ukuba babone amandla abo kunokubanceda baqonde ukuba bafaka iitalente zabo ngendlela elungileyo. Nazi ezinye zokuqala zengxoxo ezinokunyusa ukuzithemba komntwana wakho :
- Yiyiphi inqabisekileyo?
- Yintoni into oyiyo?
- Ziziphi ezinye izinto onokuzenza ukuze wenze umehluko kwihlabathi?
AbaQaleli beNcoko yoNxibelelwano ukuNceda ukuphuhlisa ukuBhakaza
Ngamanye amaxesha abantu abancinci banenkathazo yokucinga emva kwemizuzu emihlanu ezayo, bangazicongi nje ukucinga kakhulu ngexesha labo elizayo elizayo. Ukubuza imibuzo ethile malunga nobomi abafuna ukuzakhela yona yindlela efanelekileyo yokubanceda baqale bacinge ukuba luhlobo luni lobomi abafuna ukuhlala. Nazi ezinye iinkwenkwezi zokuqala ezinokunceda umntwana wakho acinge ngakumbi ngekamva kwaye ahlakulele isifiso sokwenza ukuba kwenzeke:
- Ungathanda ukuhlala phi ilanga? Indlu kweli lizwe, indlu yokuhlala kwisixeko, kwipulazi, kwindlu yokuhlala, kwi-RV ehamba ngeenxa zonke, okanye kwenye indawo?
- Ufuna ukuthini xa ukhula?
- Ukuba unokufezekisa nayiphi na injongo, nangona kungenakwenzeka, kuya kuba yintoni?
- Yintoni enye into ofuna ukuyifumana ngaphambi kokugqiba isikolo?
Gcina Ingxoxo Ehambayo
Imibuzo kunye neenkwenkwezi zokuqala kufuneka zibe yendalo, kungekhona ukuphenywa. Ukuba ukhawuleza ukufaka umbuzo kumntwana wakho, uya kuba nokuvalwa.
Ngoko unciphisa imibuzo yakho enkulu kwenye okanye ezimbini ngosuku. Sebenzisa ixesha lokuthetha ngeengcamango zakhe kunye nemibono kwaye ubonise ukuba unomdla wokuva oko akuthethileyo. Umntwana wakho uya kuncokola iingxoxo zakho xa eqonda ukuba uyayixabisa uluvo lwakhe, nangona lihluke kwedwa.
> Imithombo
> Drążkowski D, iKaczmarek LD, i-TB yeKashdan. Ukubulela kuhlawula: Ukubonga kwangaphakathi kweveki kuthintela izigqibo zemali, iimpendulo zomzimba kunye namava angamavakalelo ngexesha lokusebenzisana nentlalo enxulumene nentembelo. Ubuntu kunye noBomi bomntu ngabanye . 2017; 110: 148-153.
> Morin A. Izinto 13 Ngabazali Abaqinileyo Ngaba Musa . ENew York, NY: uWilliam Morrow & Co; 2017.