Kukho indawo ethi "Nceda" kwaye "Siyabonga" kwisigama sakho sokufunda esikolweni
Ingaba kukho into enomdla okanye eyamnandi ngaphezu kokuza kumntwana ohloniphekileyo kwaye usebenzisa amagama anomusa? Omnye uthi "nceda" kwaye "uyabulela" ngaphandle kokunyanzeliswa-mhlawumbi ucela ukuba akhululwe kwitheyibhile yokutya (kwaye umlethe ipakela naye xa ehamba!). Nguye wonke umzali ofuna ukumema ngaphezu kokuba abe nomdlalo wokudlala kumntwana kunye nentombazana enabantwana abahlala bezinikela kuyo kwi-carpool.
Yikholelwa okanye akunjalo, isikolo sakho sokufunda esikolweni singaba ngumntwana. Ewe, ngokwenene! Nangona kubonakala ngathi kuyinto engenakwenzeka, ukufundisa imbeko kunye namazwi anomnene kubantwana akufuneki kube nzima. Ngethuba elincinane, umonde kunye nokuzilungisa kakuhle kwakho, kungekudala uza kuba nomntwana oya kucebisa u-Miss Manners. Nantsi indlela:
Amazwi omnene wabantwana: Ukuqalisa
Isitshixo ekufundiseni ukuthobeka kunye namagama anomnene ukuqala amancinci, qalisa kusasa kwaye uhlale ungaguquki-ngokuziphatha kwakho. Wena ungumntwana wakho wokuqala kunye neyona nto ibalulekileyo. Ukuba umntu oneminyaka engama-3 ubudala uva wena uthi, "Nceda udlulise amazambane," okanye "Siyabonga ngesipho esihle kakhulu!" ngokuqhelekileyo kwiintlobo ezahlukeneyo zabantu - ngokwabo, abahlobo, intsapho kunye nabangamaziyo ngokufanayo - ngoko kuya kwenzeka ukuba uya kulandelelana. (Yaye uqaphele ukuba oku kuyinyaniso yokufundisa imilinganiselo kubantwana kunye nayiphi na indlela yokuziphatha enokuthanda umntwana wakho ukuba ayilandele.)
Okubaluleke ngakumbi kukuba uthetha nomntwana wakho usebenzisa imilinganiselo efanelekileyo. Wena umntwana uya kwisibuko. Kwaye umntanakho ufanelwe inhlonipho. Xa uthetha nomntwana wakho ngobubele nangomusa, baya kufaka indlela yokuziphatha ngayo.
Kodwa nangona uzimisele ukuziphatha ngendlela efanelekileyo rhoqo, kukho imfuneko yokufundisa kunye nokucacisa ukubandakanyeka - imilinganiselo ayikwazi ukufundwa ngokuthe ngqo ngongoma.
Qala ekhaya kunye nokusebenzisana kwimihla ngemihla wena nomntwana wakho ninomhla. Kwimeko nayiphi imbeko ekufuneka isetyenziswe - itafile yokutya, naluphi na utshintshiselwano lwentlalo, kwinto yokuzenza ngathi idonsa okanye iilori - sebenzisa imbeko uze ubhekisele kumncinane wakho okwenzayo. Mkhuthaze ukuba alandele.
Qhubeka kwiNdlela yokuziphatha
Njengoko ukhululekile ngala magama amatsha kwisigama sakhe, ungaqala ukumkhuthaza ukuba asebenzise kwiimeko zoluntu. Nangona umntwana osemncinci unokuqonda ukuba emva kokuba umntu ebanike into ethile, "mbulelo" kufuneka ukuba yenze impendulo ngokuzenzekelayo kumniki, nokuba ngaba bayayifumana umhla wokuzalwa kwindibano okanye ibhokisi yejusi ukusuka kwisiqandisisi ngexesha lokutya.
Ngokuqinisekileyo kufuneka ufundise umntwana wakho ukuba athi "ngiyabonga" kunoma yintoni na imeko efanelekileyo, kodwa ukuqala, ukubonisa ukubonga ngesipho mhlawumbi kube lula kakhulu kwimeko yentlalo yendalo. Cacisa umntwana wakho ukuthi "kunokuba" yindlela yokuxelela umntu ukuba uyabulela kwaye uyabulela oko abakwenzileyo okanye banikezele.
Ukucacisa igama nceda kumncinci wakho, thetha malunga nokuba liphi igama elibalulekileyo elixelela abantu ukuba udinga uncedo-nokuba wenze into okanye ufuna into kwaye usebenzisa, abantu banakho ukuboleka isandla.
Ukuba umntwana wakho ubonakala eqonda kwaye usebenzisa ngokuqhubekayo "nceda," kwaye "uyabulela," ungaqala ngo "wamkelekile" kwaye "ndixolele."
Inxalenye ebalulekileyo yokufundisa imilinganiselo yakho yomntwana kukudumisa xa udinga igama okanye ibinzana elichanekileyo kwaye akayi kubagxeka ukuba ayenjalo. Mane nje uchaze ukuba kufuneka basebenzise igama elifanelekileyo baze baqhubeke. Qhubeka ufundisa ngomzekelo. Baza kubamba ngokukhawuleza.
Inyani le nto kukuba, ininzi abantwana baya kuba nako ukusetyenziswa ngamagama athando ngeli xesha bane. Basenokuthetha amagama, kodwa abayiqondi ngokwenene intsingiselo yabo.
Kulungile. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba uqale. U-Emily Post uya kuvuya.