Ngaba ukubethelela isikolo sakho sokufunda esikolweni kunokufumana uhlobo oluhle lokuqeqeshwa?
Ukuba ungumzali, uyazi ukuba malunga nazo zonke izigqibo ozenzayo uphakamisela ingxoxo. (Ababizi ngokuba yizimfa zamama!) Kwaye akukho ndlela yokuzala ibonakala iphuma emlilweni ngaphezu kobantwana ababetha njengendlela yokuqeqesha. Nantoni na ocinga ngayo ukutshiza, nokuba utyunjwe njengomntwana okanye ukuba uchithe abantwana bakho, nanini na xa usenza isigqibo sokuba iyiphi indlela yokuqeqesha , kubalulekile ukuba uqiniseke ukuba yona ndlela iphumelele ukuphumeza.
Kuthekani kuthiwa ngabantwana abatsha? Ngaba isebenza? Abacebisi bathi ukunika umntwana ukutshiza phantsi kuthumela umyalezo oqaqambileyo kwaye kuya kunciphisa nayiphi na inxaxho ezayo kwinxalenye yomntwana. Abachasayo bathi umda wokuxhaphazwa kwabantwana kwaye awusebenzi. Yintoni efanelekileyo? Ngelixa isisigqibo somntu kunye nesinye esifanele senziwe ngokuxhomekeka kwinto esebenza kakuhle kwintsapho yakho, kukho izinto ezibalulekileyo zokuqwalasela.
Isizathu Sokuba Abazali Baphathise Abantwana Babo
Kwabazali abathile, ukutyunjwa kwindlela yokwehlula-mhlawumbi babethwa njengomntwana ngokwabo. Abanye bayibona njengesihlwayo esihle xa umntwana ekhuselekileyo okanye efumana imeko eyingozi (ehamba kwindawo yokupaka okanye esitratweni mhlawumbi). Sekunjalo, abanye basebenzisa ukutyunjwa njengento yokugqibela - xa kungekho zindlela eziye zasebenza.
Ngamanye amaxesha ukuxubha kwenzeka xa umzali eshushu, ephendulela oko umntwana akwenzileyo kunye neentonga ukuze athumele umyalezo oqinileyo ngethemba lokuba umntwana akayi kuqhuba ukuziphatha kwakhona.
Iingxaki ngeNtlanzi yabantwana
Nangona abaxhasi benkcenkceshela bathi le ndlela isebenza kakuhle, inyaniso kukuba yonke into efundisa umntwana ukuba aziphathe kwaye "abe ngileyo" - kungekhona ukuqonda isizathu sokuba bafanele baziphathe ngendlela ethile. Umzekelo, ukuba umntwana ushukumise ukuchukumisa isitofu eshushu kwaye utyunjwe, umntwana uya kufunda ukuba angayichukumisi isitofu.
Nangona kunjalo, oko abayikukufunda kukuba kutheni akufanele baphathe isitofu. Xa umntwana ehlaselwa kuloo meko, ithuba lokufundisa lilahlekile-ithuba lokuhlaziya ukhuseleko kwikicikethi. Ukugxeka kukumisa ukuziphatha kodwa akukhuthazi umntwana ukuba enze izigqibo okanye azibuze ukuba kutheni isigqibo esithile asikho into enhle.
Ukutshiza kwindlela yokuziphatha enobudlova . Nangona umntwana ehlaselwa kwimeko yokuqeqeshwa, kusenokwenzeka xa ikhulile inomsindo, ngoko ibonisa umntwana omncinci ukuba kukulungele ukubetha umntu xa uhlutha. Njengomzali, ungumntwana wakho omhle mzekelo. Nangona uxelela umntwana wakho ukuba akafanele atshaye umntu, ngokubetha umntwana wakho, ubonisa ukuba eso senzo samkelekile.
Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuqwalasela ukuba njengoko umntwana ekhula, banokuthukuthela umzali wabo ukuba bawabethe. Esikhundleni sokucinga malunga nento abaye bayenza ukuze baqinisekise ukuba i-spanking, umntwana ugxila kwisijeziso, kunokuba bahlawuliswe.
I-American Academy ye-Pediatrics inombono oqinileyo kubantwana abahlaselayo-bayichasene nayo:
"I-American Academy ye-Pediatricians imelene nokushaya umntwana ngenxa yezizathu.
Ukuba ukuphanga kwangoko, abazali kufuneka bachaze ngokukhawuleza ukuba kutheni benzayo, ukuziphatha okubangela ukuba bayichukumise, kwaye bavutha njani. Kananjalo banokuxolisa kumntwana ngenxa yokulahlekelwa ngumlawuli. Oku ngokuqhelekileyo kunceda umntwana ukuba aqonde kwaye amkele ukutyunjwa, kwaye imodeli yomntwana indlela yokulungisa indlela engafanelekanga ngayo. "Izifundo zakutsha zeqela ziye zafumanisa ukuba abantwana abaneminyaka emithathu abaye batshabalalisa kaninzi banokuba nobudlova xa baneminyaka emihlanu, kwaye loo ntshukumo idibene neengxaki zempilo yengqondo kamva kwimpilo.
Eminye indlela yokwahlula
Kukho ezinye iindlela ezininzi zokuqeqesha umntwana ngaphandle kokuzibetha.
Ukuphuma kwexesha kunye nokuthatha into ebalulekileyo kumntwana bobabili baphumelela ekufundiseni umntwana ummahluko phakathi kokulungileyo nokungalunganga. Ukubuyiselwa kunye nokufundisa umntwana wakho ukulungisa into engalunganga kusebenzayo xa ufundisa umntwana wakho malunga nokuba kutheni ukuziphatha kwabo kwakungathandeki.
Isibalulekileyo sokulungiswa komntwana akusiyo nje ukubenza bayeke ukwenza into ethile (nangona oko kubalulekile). Uqeqesho kufuneka lujongwe njengethuba lokufunda-ithuba lokuba umntwana afunde kwiimpembelelo zakhe ngelixa ephuhlisa izakhono ezintle zokwenza izigqibo angayisebenzisa kwixesha elizayo.