Ukuxhatshazwa kunokukwenza kwaye kwenzeke phakathi kwezingane ezincinci; Nantsi indlela onokukunceda ngayo
Abazali namhlanje bayazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba ukuxhatshazwa kuyinkathazo, kwaye sinakho kwi-radar yethu. Kodwa abaninzi abanakho ukuqonda ukuba ukuxhatshazwa kunokukwenzeka kwangaphambili. Xa silungiselela abantwana ngosuku lokuqala lwe-kindergarten kwaye sibancedise ukuba bathathe i-backpack yesikolo sokuqala kunye nebhokisi lesemini, bathathe izinto zokuthenga iimpahla zesikolo, kwaye bancede banqobe i- jitters ye-kindergarten , ukuxhatshazwa akunakwenzeka ukuba kukho uluhlu lwabazali abaninzi izinto zokwenza ngaphambi kosuku olukhulu.
Kodwa inyaniso kukuba ukuxhatshazwa kunokukwenzeka kwi- nursergart kunye neyokuqala kunye nesibini kwibakala-kwaye, ngokutsho kweengcali zogxininiso, kwangoko nje kwangoko. Nangona ukuxhatshazwa kwinto eqhelekileyo kumaziko aphezulu, abazali babantwana abancinci badinga ukuba baqaphele iimpawu zokuxhashazwa kwabantwana abancinci kunye nokwenza ntoni ukuba umntwana wabo ungqina okanye uxhoba lokuxhatshazwa.
"Njengabafundisi nabazali, kufuneka sijonge," kusho uJamie Ostrov, Ph.D., uprofesa onxulumene nengqondo kwiYunivesithi yaseBuffalo. Ngethamsanqa, ukuziphatha kakubi kubonakala ngokucacileyo kwaye kulula ukuyibona phakathi kwala bantwana. UDkt. Ostrov uthi, "Phakathi kwabantwana abancinane, ezi ziphatha zichanekileyo, kwaye ulwazisa umenzi wobubi." Njengoko u-Ostrov ekhulile, u-Ostrov uthi, ngokuphindaphindiweyo kubonakala ukuba abazali kunye nootitshala abanako ukukubona, ngakumbi ukuba ukuxhatshazwa buhlobo (ukuhleba ngomntu, ngaphandle komntu, njalo njalo).
Yikuphi ukuxhaphaza kubonakala ngathi kwi-Kindergarten kunye neBakala lokuqala
Ngenxa yokuba abantwana abancinci baqhubeka nokuphuhlisa iimbono zengqondo, zengqondo kunye nezentlalo ezifunekayo ukuze zisebenze iingxabano zisebenzisa amagama kunye nezicwangciso zokuxazulula iingxaki, ukuziphatha kakubi - njengokuthatha into yokudlala ngaphandle komntu okanye ukunyusa okanye ukubiza igama- eziqhelekileyo kule minyaka.
Kodwa ukuxhatshazwa, okuphawulwe ngumnqweno wokulimaza, ukungalingani kwamandla kunye nokuphindaphinda, kuyahluke kwi-aggression.
Kule minyaka, abantwana banokuxelisa into abone umntakwabo omdala okanye abazali bethetha okanye benze okanye into ababeyibonayo kwiTV. "Kungaba yinto abavavanya ngayo njengoko baqonda ukuba nantoni na ukubandakanya intlalo esikolweni," uthi uStephanie Mihalas, Ph.D., uprofesa wonyango oncedisayo kwiSebe leengqondo kunye ne-Biobehavioral Sciences e-David Geffen School of Medicine. UCLA. "Ukuxhatshazwa phakathi kweentwanyana ezincinci zikhonkco kwaye zibonakala ngakumbi," kusho uDkt. Mihalas. Abantwana bangathi izinto ezinje, "Andiyithandi into enxibe ngayo" okanye "Isidlo sakho sasemini sivuthiwe," kusho uDkt. Mihalas. Akunakubandakanya umntu kumcimbi wokuzalwa okanye athi, "Awukwazi ukuhlala nathi."
Kukho iintlobo ezimbini zokuxhatshazwa: umzimba, oquka ukubetha, ukukhaba, ukuthatha into, kunye nokunye, kunye noluntu / oluntu, olubandakanya ukungabandakanyi umntu, ukusasazeka okanye ukuhlekisa. Njengoko abantwana bekhula, uza kubona amatyala ambalwa okwenzakalayo kunye nolwalamano oluninzi, ulwaphulo-mthetho, utsho uDkt Ostrov.
Iimpawu eziqhelekileyo zokuxhatshazwa
Ukuba umntwana wakho ujoliswe ngabaxhatshazwayo, unokubonisa oku kulandelayo:
- Buhlungu
- Ukuphelelwa kwesidlo
- Andifuni ukuya esikolweni
- Ingxaki kunye nabantwana bakowenu (ukulwa okungahambisani nokuchasana, ubundlobongela)
- Shintsha ku ziphatha
- Izinto ezilahlekileyo okanye iimpahla eziqwengileyo
- Iintlanzi
- Iingxaki zokulala, izibilini
- Ukunyanzeliswa (njenge-bedwetting)
- Ukuxhalabisa
Yiyiphi i-Adult Adult Can Do to Help Child Who's Bullied
Zama ezi zicwangciso xa umntwana wakho uxhatshazwa okanye xa ukhathazeka ukuba umntwana wakho unokuba ngumgomo wokuxhatshazwa:
- Thetha notitshala womntwana wakho. Njengoko kubonakala indlela yokuziphatha kakubi kubantwana abancinci, abazali banokuthetha nootitshala, abadla ngokungafaniyo, bayazi kakuhle ukuba kwenzekani, utsho uDkt Ostrov.
- Buza malunga nemini yabo, yonke imihla. Fumana ixesha lokudibanisa nomntwana wakho nsuku zonke, nokuba ngethuba lokutya kwentsapho okanye ngexesha lokulala kwaye ubuze malunga nomhla wakhe. Buza imibuzo ekhethekileyo eyokunika ngaphezu kwe "ewe" okanye "ayikho" impendulo, ngathi, "Ngubani owake wadlala nayo ekuphumeni namhlanje?" okanye "Yintoni eyona nto oyintandokazi yosuku lwakho namhlanje?"
- Dlala indima. Buza umntwana wakho ukuba acinge ngendlela angayenza ngayo xa kwenzeka into ethile, njengokuthi umntu uqhubeka uthetha okanye wenza izinto zithetha izinto ezibuhlungu. Mkhumbuze umntwana wakho ngeemeko onokufunda ngazo kwincwadi okanye ubonwe kwi-movie kunye nababantu abathandekayo okanye abangaba mnandi omnye nomnye baze bathethe ngezinto ezazingekho kwaye aziphathe kakuhle.
- Qaphela ukuziphatha kwakho. Khangela indlela ojongene ngayo iingxabano okanye ukulungisa iingxaki ekhaya nakwezinye iindawo. Ngaba ubaphatha abanye ngenhlonipho nangomusa? Ngaba wakha wadla umntu phambi komntwana wakho? Ukuziphatha kwakho ngumzekelo apho umntwana wakho uya kufunda ukuphatha abanye.
- Musa ukunciphisa oko umntwana wakho akutshoyo. Ukuba umntu ngokuphindaphindiweyo enze umntwana wakho azive buhlungu okanye abe noloyiko, phulaphula oko akuxelela yona. "Ukungaxhasi ukuxhatshazwa kunokuba nefuthe elide," kusho uDkt. Mihalas. "Makhe umntwana azi ukuba ukhona ukuncedisa kwaye ukuba engonwabile, kufuneka akhulume nawe."
- Sebenza kwizakhono zokuzimela. Nika umntwana wakho ezinye izixhobo zokusebenzisa xa umntu ehlukumeza. Ngokomzekelo, umntwana wakho unokuthetha izinto ezinje, "Andiyithandi indlela endiphatha ngayo ngoku" okanye "Nceda ungathethi nam ndlela," ucetyisa uDkt. Mihalas.
- Buza isikolo somntwana wakho ukuba ufake ukukhusela ukunyanzelisa kwikharityhulam. Kwana-kindergarten, ootitshala bangathetha malunga nokuxhatshazwa, ukuba kubonakala ngathi, kwaye yintoni abantwana abangayenza xa beyibona okanye ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kubo, kusho uDkt. Mihalas. "Ootitshala bangabuza abantwana ukuba babe ngumhlobo kwaye bajonge umntu odwa okanye oshiye ngaphandle," kusho uMihalas.
Ekugqibeleni, ukuba umntwana wakho akayikujolisa ekuxhatshazweni kodwa ubone ukuxhatshazwa - yiyiphi iqela ininzi abantwana abawela ngayo xa kukho imeko yokuxhatshazwa esikolweni-uchaza umahluko phakathi kokuxubha kunye nokubika, kusho uDkt. Ostrov. "Cacisa ukuba ukunika ingxelo kunceda ukugcina abahlobo bekhuselekileyo xa ukuxubusha kuklanyelwe ukwenza abantu bazive bebi."
Ngokubeka iitoni kunye nokukhuthaza abantwana ukuba bajonge omnye nomnye baze babe nomusa kwaye babe novelwano ngabanye, abazali nabafundisi bangahlakulela umzekelo onokumelana nokuxhatshazwa onokuqhubela phambili kwiminyaka emva yesikolo nobomi.