Iseluleko kubazali abaneentombi eziselula
Abazali abaninzi abantombazana abaselula bajamelana neengxaki ezinzima. Ngaba uvumele ukuba intombi yakho ibe nomfana osekhulile ? Yimeko ekhohlakeleyo, isigqibo esinzima kunye nesinye esinokubangela iingxabano ngaphakathi kwintsapho.
Ixhalaba leentombi ezithandana nabafana abadala
Xa intombi yakho inomdla inomfana osemdala kunabo, kulula ukukhathazeka. Abazali abaninzi kule meko bayika ukuba abaneminyaka yabo-16 baya kukhulelwa okanye ukuba intliziyo yakhe iya kuphulwa yile mfana.
Kwakhona kunzima kubazali ukuqonda ukuba kutheni umntwana oneminyaka eyi-17 okanye eyi-18 efuna ukufumana intombazana eneminyaka emibini okanye emithathu emncinci kuye.
- Ngaba uyayithanda okanye uyamthanda?
- Ngaba uyayisebenzisa ngenxa yezizathu zobugovu?
- Ukhuselekile nalo mfana osekhulile?
- Ngaba uya kumtyhila kwiingcinezelo zontanga imeko engazange ikhule ngokwaneleyo?
Yonke le mibuzo iyimfuneko kwaye yenza imeko nzima ukuyisebenzisa.
Abazali kufuneka baphinde bajongane nentombi yabo ihlala inenkani yokuthandana nalo mfana. Unokuba unyanzelekile kuye ukuba ubona into ayithethayo ngabazali bakhe ngokumalunga nobudlelwane bokuhlasela.
Unokuziva ngathi abazali bakhe abamkhathaleli ngovuyo lwakhe okanye ukuba abayithandi le nkwenkwana. Oku kunokubangela ukuba ahoxise intsapho ngeendlela ezininzi kwaye kubangele nemiba emikhulu.
Abazali Bamele Baphathe Ngalo Mcimbi?
Yonke imeko iya kuba yindlela eyahlukileyo kunye nendlela abazali abaphatha ngayo ubudlelwane babo beentombi zokuthandana baya kuba kubo.
Makhe sijonge kwiingcebiso ezinikezwa ngabazali kwimimiselo emibini yobomi benene.
Intombazana eneminyaka eyi-14 ifuna ukufika kumhla oneminyaka eyi-18 ubudala
Kule meko, umama ongatshatanga oneminyaka eli-14 ubudala intombazana ebuza ukuba kufuneka amphathe njani intombazana yakhe umnqweno wokuba nomfana oneminyaka eyi-18 ubudala.
Iqabane elivisayo lidibana kunye nabahlobo kunye kwaye bathi bathandana.
Intombazana ixelele isoka lakhe ukuba akukho mzobo wesondo oza kubakho phakathi kwabo kwaye uthi uyayiqonda le nto.
Ukukhathazeka ngumama kukuhluka kweminyaka kunye nomvakalelo wakhe " HAYI! Hayi! HLA! " Uyesaba ukuba intombi yakhe iya kuguqa xa engavumeli ukuba abafana bafikelele.
Iseluleko esivela ku-stonestone60: "Ukukhathazeka kwakho kumacala omabini kwasemthethweni kusemthethweni. Mhlawumbi ubuncinane bezinto ezimbini ezimbi, nangona kunjalo, kungabonakali.
Esikhundleni sokumngciphekisa ukugijima kwaye mhlawumbi ukhulelwe, mhlawumbi uthi uyambona kodwa kuphela xa ujikeleze-ufike ukuze udle, ufunde, uxhomeke ngexesha ulapho kwaye ubonakala ngamaxesha onke. Ukufunda kwigumbi eliqhelekileyo (igumbi lokuhlala, njl.).
Ukuba banqwenela ukuya kwi-movie okanye ekudleni - baqhube kwaye bahambe nabo, ungabashiyi ngaphandle kwamehlo akho. Akunakulungi, kodwa ubuncinane bezinto ezimbini ezimbi. Uyakwazi ukukhupha umama usoloko ejikeleze aze ahambe. "
Iingcamango zikaDenise Witmer: Ndiyavuma ngombala360. Umama angazama kwaye awalinqabele, kodwa akanakho indlela yokwenza oko afuna ukuyenza ukunyanzelisa. Vumela ukuthandana xa unako ukukhangela.
Gcina imizila yokunxibelelana evulekileyo nentombi yakho, uthetha naye rhoqo ngesondo, uthando, iintsapho kunye nokukhulelwa kwentsha .
Umntu oneminyaka eyi-16 ubudala Otshatana naye Umdala oneminyaka eyi-21 ubudala
Lo mama ufuna iingcebiso malunga naye kungekudala abe nobuhlobo bentombi eneminyaka eli-17 kunye nomntu oneminyaka engama-21 ubudala.
Intombi yakhe yayisendleleni efanelekileyo esikolweni, i-A iqonde kwaye ayinayo ingxaki yokuziphatha.
Abazali abancinci bebemvumela ukuba asebenze lomfana osemdala kwaye ubuhlobo bebuhamba kakuhle ngaphezu konyaka. Abazali bacinga ukuba le nkwenkwe iya kudinwa yintombi yakhe encinci yaye yayicinezela kubazali kunye nabahlobo bakhe "ngokuthandana nosana."
Abazali bamantombazana abancinci bayavuma ukuba bangalunganga xa ulwalamano lwaqala. Umbhangqwana osemncinane waqhekeka kodwa wabuyela ngokukhawuleza.
Kungekudala ngaphambi kokuba unina wengane abe nexhala. Intombi yakhe yayilahlekelwa ngabahlobo abangazange bathande i-boyfriend endala.
Wayeba ngumdlalikazi we "drama" kwaye ephikisana nabazali bakhe nabazalwana abadala. " Zonke izinto eziqhelekileyo malunga nokuba uyasizonda kangakanani, simele simthiyile ukuba senze oku, njl. "
Kule meko, unina wentombazana wayefuna ukwazi indlela yokulungisa ukhetho lwakhe olungenabantwana nokuthetha nentombi yakhe malunga nalo. Ngaba kufuneka avumele ubudlelwane nalo mdala omdala ngokuqhubekayo?
Iingcamango zikaDenise Witmer: Oku kunokuba yimeko ephosakeleyo kwaye ndiza kunika umbono ohluke ngokupheleleyo.
Makhe sithethe ngobudlelwane: owakho kunye naye kunye nesoka lakhe.
Uwamvumela ukuba akhe ubudlelwane nale nkwenkwe kwaye ngoku kufuneka uhloniphe olo dlelwane . Ukuba awunayo, uya kufunda ukuba awuyihloneli iimvakalelo zakhe - azikhathazeki kuwe, kufuneka alwe nawe ukuze afumane oko akufunayo kwaye uthando luyingozi.
Uye wenyuka kuye. Andiyicingi nje ukuba uthe nje uthiyile okanye ukuba ucinga ukuba uyamthiya, mhlawumbi uvakalelwa yinto encinane.
Inqobo yokuqala yeyona nombolo omele uyixhalale ngayo kukuba ulwalamano lwakho naye. Nangona le meko yenza izinto kungekhona njengokuba uzifunayo ngoku, ulwalamano oluhle kunye naye kwi-17 lunokuba lunzima.
Kukho imiba eninzi kakhulu ezayo kwikona kuye kunyaka ozayo kwaye uya kukudinga ukuba uya kukwazi ukuzifumana ngesimo sengqondo esonwabileyo nesempilweni. Ukuze wenze ukhetho olufanele yena ngokwakhe-kwaye unako ubuninzi-unokufuna isidingo esinamandla kunye nawe.
Nangona ndiqonda ukwesaba kwakho ngobudlelwane bakhe nalo mfana, ndiyanitshela ukuba ungabikho apho.
Ngoko, masiqhekeza kunye kwakhona:
Thetha naye. Mxelele ukuba uyamthanda kwaye uyaxolisa ukuba unesibini nzima.
Musa ukuthetha igama 'kodwa' nonke. Yithi izinto ezinjengezi: "Ndivuyiswe kulo nyaka ozayo. Ndikulangazelela ukubona konke owenzayo kunyaka wakho ophezulu nangaphezulu. Andifuni ukulwa kulo lonke."
Yenyuka ngokungqinelana nonke enokuhlala nayo. Cacisa ukuba kufuneka ukuba anikeze encinane ngenxa yokuba unikezela encinane kwaye nonke niyahlonelana ngokwaneleyo ukwenza njalo.
Mayelana noDenise Witmer: UDenise Witmer nguye owayengumcebisi weNtsha. Ubhale amanqaku amaninzi anika iingcebiso kubazali malunga nokusebenza kunye nentsha kunye nokugcina ubudlelwane obuhle. Iingcebiso ezinikeziwe ngasentla zivela kwi-blog ye-blog ye-Witmer ngo-2010 nangama-2009 ngokulandelana.