Ukukhula nomzali ongekhoyo kunokushiya abantwana abanengqondo ejulile yokuhlazeka kunye nokulahleka. Kwaye xa kungabikho ukuvela ngokuzithandela, umphumo unokuba nzima ngakumbi. Ukususela kumbono womntwana, kunzima ukucinga ukuba umzali ukhetha ukungabandakanyeki ngaphandle kwesizathu esihle. Ngokudabukisayo, abantwana banomngcipheko wokuba bafake isigqibo esifanelekileyo kwaye bacinga ukuba kufuneka babe netyala.
Uloyiko kunye netyala lingashiya abantwana beziva bengenakufaneleka. Sekunjalo, kukho ithemba. Njengomzali oseleyo, uninzi ongayenza ukuxhasa umntwana wakho nokwakha ukuzithemba kwakhe.
Ncedisa Umntwana Wakho Ukujamelana Neengxaki Zokuxoshwa
Njengomzali obandakanyekayo, unethuba elikhulu lokuphazamisa ukuzithemba komntwana wakho kunye nokunciphisa impembelelo yokushiya kwakho. Ukuchonga imiba yokushiya abantwana ekuqaleni, uya kufuna ukugcina iso ngaphandle kwezi ziphatha ezilandelayo:
Abantwana abaye bashiywe bangalahla yonke into malunga nomzali ongekhoyo. Ekubeni, oku kungathi kube yimpendulo efanelekileyo. Uza kubona oku xa umntwana ebonisa umnqweno wokuba ahluke ngqo nomzali ongekhoyo. Njengomzali oseleyo, unokunceda ngo:
- Ukuqinisekisa iimpawu zakho ezikhethekileyo.
- Ukuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba ahlanganyele iingcamango zakhe nezimvo zakhe.
- Ukuqaphela ukuba eli nqanaba lingasesikhashana.
- Ukubonisa uvelwano ngeengxelo ezinjengokuthi, "Ndiyakwazi ukuba kutheni uvakalelwa ngaloo ndlela ngoku."
Abantwana abanemiba yokulahla banokucinga ukuba umzali ongekhoyo. Abanye abantwana bangaphinda baqaphele umzali ongekhoyo kwaye bahlakulele isethi yeengcamango ngaye. Yaye ngelixa ezi ngcamango zinganikeza intuthuzelo, loo nto inokuphulukiswa kwintlungu ihlala yesikhashana.
Njengomnye umzali womntwana, unokunceda ngo:
- Ukuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba akhulume ngokukhululekile iinkumbulo zakhe zomzali osekho.
- Ukuphepha isilingo sokulungisa izikhumbuzo zomntwana wakho.
- Ukubuza imibuzo evulekile ukuze uncede umntwana wakho achaze iinkcukacha ezongezelelweyo ezinxulumene nezikhumbuzo zakhe.
Abantwana abanemiba yokushiya ingabangela ukuzithemba. Abantwana abaye balahlekelwa ngumzali banokuba nako ukuzithemba ukuzithemba nokuzihlambalaza ngokungahambi komzali. Basenokungabaza nokuba bangaba negalelo ekungabikho, nokuba ingaba 'bafanelwe' ukushiywa, nokuba ngaba umzali ongekhoyo ukholelwa ukuba uphumelele ngaphandle 'komthwalo' womntwana. Njengomzali oseleyo, unokunceda ngo:
- Ukukhumbuza umntwana wakho, ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuba kuyimfuneko, ukuba akayena mpazamo.
- Ukusebenzisa ulwimi olucacileyo, oluthile xa udumisa umntwana wakho .
- Ukubonelela ngabacebisi kumntwana wakho
- Ukukhuthaza ubudlelwane nabantu abadala oba thembileyo, nabani na onokuthumela imiyalezo engumzekelo, enobungqina malunga nobuchule bomntwana, umlingani kunye nokukhetha.
Abantwana abanemiba yokushiya bangaba nobunzima bokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo: Abantwana abaye bavalelwa ngabazali banokuba nobunzima bokuthetha zabo iimvakalelo.
Baye bathambekele ekugcineni iimvakalelo zabo bebhinqa kunye nokungabi nethemba elindelekileyo ukuze babelane nabanye ngokwenene. Njengomnye umzali womntwana, unokunceda ngo:
- Ukuqinisekisa ukuba uyamthanda umntwana wakho ngokungathandabuzekiyo, nangona xa ecinezelekile, edabukisayo okanye ekhungathekileyo.
- Ukubhala ileta kumntwana wakho ukubonisa indlela oziqhayiya ngayo.
- Ukunyaniseka xa umntwana ekwabelana naye ngeemvakalelo zakhe.
- Ukubonelela ngamathuba amaninzi okudibanisa nomntwana wakho, ukudala umoya apho uya kukhululeka ukuvula xa ixesha lilungile.
Izibonelelo:
UBalcom, uDennis A. "Abantwana abangabikhoyo: Iimpembelelo kwiintsana ezilahlekileyo." I-Journal of Men's Studies 6.3 (1998): 283+. Questia. 31 kuMatshi 2008.