Indodana yam ibonakala ikhulu kakhulu. Wahamba phezu kwexesha elide kunye neveki ubudala kwaye wayehamba kunye nenkxaso kwiinyanga ezintlanu kwaye ehamba kwaye egijima eyedwa kwiinyanga ezi sixhenxe. Ngoku uyaqhankqalaza kwaye ahlasele kwaye unokulinganisa amanqanaba omdaniso wabantwana kwiTV. Wayebeka ndawonye amagama amabini xa wayeneminyaka eli-15 ubudala, ngoko ke intetho yakhe ibonakala iphhambili. Udonsa izibonda aze athathe ipensela yakhe ngokuchanekileyo! Ndifuna uncedo lokugcina ingqondo yam umntwana ivuselelwe!
Ndiya kuthatha phi iinyanga ezili-18 ubudala ukuba ndibone ukuba unesipho?
Ngokuqinisekileyo kubonakala ngathi unomntwana onelungelo ezandleni zakho. Abantwana abanikiweyo badla ngokubethelwa phambili kwizinto eziphambili kunezinye abantwana. Akuqhelekanga kubazali bamantombazana abancinane ukuba bafune ukwazi ukuba umntwana wabo unelungelo kunye nento yokwenza ngayo.
Abazali nabantwana abafikelela kwimigqaliselo yophuhliso ngokukhawuleza bafuna ukwazi ukuba bafumana phi ithuba lokuvavanya umntwana wabo. Zininzi izizathu ezifanelekileyo zokufumana umntwana uvavanyo, kodwa kufuneka kubekho omnye. Umzekelo, unokufuna ukuba umntwana wakho avunyelwe kwinkqubo ekhethekileyo yabantwana abanesakhono kunye neentente okanye unokufuna ukuqonda iimfuno zemfundo zomntwana wakho.
Abanye abazali bafuna ukuvavanya umntwana wabo nje ukuqinisekiswa. Basenokuba nzima ukuwamkela okanye ukuqonda ukuba umntwana wabo uphezulu kunabanye abantwana. Okanye mhlawumbi abanye abantu baqhubeka bebaxelela ukuba bonke abazali bacinga ukuba banomntwana onobuchule.
Basenokuxelwa ukuba bafanele bavumele umntwana wabo ukuba abe yintsana aze abasikelele "ngeengozi" zokuba ngumzali onomdla.
Impendulo yombuzo wendawo oya kuyo ukufumana iinyanga ezili-18 ezivivinyelwe izipho ziqala ngomnye umbuzo: kutheni ufuna ukuba umntwana wakho ahlolwe? Nangona ucinga ukuba unesizathu esihle sokuvavanya, kukho ezinye iinkalo ukugcina engqondweni.
Enye ingqwalasela yimiqathango yemvavanyo eyenziwa kubantwana abanjalo. Umgangatho we-IQ womntwana awuyi kuhlala uzinzile kakhulu ukuya kwi-5 yobudala. Oko kuthetha ukuba amanqaku angakwazi ukuhluka ngokukodwa kwaye ungeke ufumane uhlobo lokuqonda komntwana wakho olufunayo. Uvavanyo oluzimeleyo lunokuba lubiza kakhulu, ngoko ke ngaphandle kokuba unesizathu esilungileyo sokuvavanywa kwengqondo kwebantwana, kuhle kakhulu ukulinda iminyaka embalwa.
Oko ufuna ukukwenza kweli nqanaba uyazibuza ukuba unokuphatha njani umntwana wakho ngokungafaniyo ukuba ngaba uvavanywe ngumntwana wakho kwaye uvavanyo lubonise ukuba unelungelo. Ngaba ungamthanda ngaphantsi? Ngaba ungamthanda kwakhona? Ngaba ungaqala ukuzama ukumfundisa ngaphezu kwakho ngoku? Ngaba uza kuzama ukumnika amathuba amaninzi okufunda nokuhlola ihlabathi? Ngaba ubungabhalisa kuzo zonke iiklasi onokuzifumana? Andicingi ukuba ungamthanda ngakumbi okanye ngaphantsi kunokuba uyenza ngoku. Ndicinga ukuba uya kuqhubeka uzama ukufumana iindlela zokuvuselela ingqondo yakhe.
Ukuba uyazi ukuba umntwana wakho ufuna ukuvuselelwa kwengqondo, ngoko uyafuna ukubonelela. Bonke abantwana badinga ukuvuselelwa kwengqondo - kubonakala nje ukuba abantwana abanamalungelo bayayifuna. Yingakho abazali abaninzi abanabantwana abanesipho, kungekude baxoshe abantwana babo, bazive ngathi abantwana babo babadonsela emva kwabo.
Ukubonelela ukukhuthazwa akunzima njengoko kubonakala kwangoku, kodwa kuthatha inzame kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ubuchule obuncinane. Kukho iindlela ezisisiseko zokukhulisa umntwana wakho onomsebenzi onceda abazali abanabantwana abanesiphiwo sobudala babo bonke ubudala, kodwa kukho iingcamango ezithile zokubonelela ukukhupha ngengqondo kubantwana abathintekayo nabasesikolweni .
Landela nje ukukhokela komntwana wakho kwaye ujonge ixesha lakho naye. Oku kuya kukunceda ukuba ungamxoshe umntwana wakho xa uthetha nje ukumnceda. Xa umntwana wakho ekhulile kwaye ufuna ukuvavanywa, ngoko ufuna ukuqiniseka ukuba uyazi malunga nokuvavanya umntwana wakho onobuchule .