Ukulindela kakhulu kuwe okanye umntwana wakho akaphilisanga nabani na
Ingcinezelo kubazali banamhlanje ukuba benze konke kwaye ibe yinto yonke yezingane zabo yinkathazo yangempela kwiintsapho ezininzi. Ukusuka kwimimandla yamama-intanethi kunye nokujongana nokugweba kwimithetho-mithetho ukuya kwizinto ezifihlakeleyo-phakathi kwabahlobo kunye nohlazo oluqhubekayo kumajelo asekuhlaleni , akumangalisi ukuba oomama nootata baziva ukuba kufuneka babe ngabazali abafezekileyo.
Kodwa nantsi into-ukuba ngumntu ophelela ukuphelelana akugcini nje uxinezeleke kukukhulu, kodwa unakho ukulimaza impilo yakho yomntwana.
Ngethamsanqa, ukuba uyazibandakanya kumzali wokuphelela, kukho amanyathelo anokuthatha ukuze utshintshe izinto ozilindele wena nomntwana wakho.
Iimpawu Ukuba Unokuba ngumzali ongenasiphelo
Abanye abazali abagqibeleleyo baphumelele kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi babo. Bayazigqwesa kuyo yonke into abayenzayo-mhlawumbi, abayi kuba nzima ukuzama. Benza imibingelelo enkulu ukuze bahlangabezane neenjongo zabo.
Kwaye ngokwemigangatho, aba bantu baphumelele. Sekunjalo, abazange bazive banelisekile.
Abanye banokuphelelisa kwimihlaba yomzali kuphela. Aba bantu banokwesaba "ukuhlambalaza abantwana babo ubomi," okanye banokwesaba ukuba abancedi umntwana wabo ukuba bangene kwikolishi ye-Ivy League baya kuba bahlulekile njengomzali.
Abanye babo balindele ukuphelela kwabo kwaye abanye balindela ukugqibelela kubantwana babo. Nangona bacinga ukuba imigangatho yabo iya kubakho ukugqwesa, imfuno yabo yokufezekisa ekugqibeleni ibuyele.
Imiqondiso onokuyilindela ukuba ungumzali opheleleyo
- Ukuzigxeka ngokuqhelekileyo
- Ukuzigxeka xa umntwana wakho engaphumeleli
- Ukuzifanisa nabanye abazali kwaye uzive ngathi unako
- Ukubetha ngenxa yokuba ungenako ukwenza okunye kubantwana bakho, nangona wenza into eninzi kubo
- Ukuhlala uqikelela ukukhetha kwakho umzali
- Ukulahlekelwa yipholile ngokuqhelekileyo kuba ukulindela kwakho kuphezulu
Izibonakaliso onokuzilindela ukuba umntwana wakho uphelele
- Ubunzima ukubukela umntwana wakho ukuba enze into xa engenzi ngendlela yakho
- Ukukhupha umntanakho umntwana xa esebenza kumsebenzi
- Ukubeka ingcinezelo kumntwana wakho ukuba enze ngokungafaniyo
- Ukugxeka umntwana wakho ngaphezu kokudumisa
- Ukunyanzela umntwana wakho ukuzalisekisa amaphupha akho
- Ukwenza ihinge yakho yokuzibhokoxa ekuphumeleleni komntwana wakho
- Ukuphatha imisebenzi yomntwana wakho, njengemvavanyo yeematriki okanye umdlalo webhola lebhola, njengemicimbi yokuguqula ubomi
Ngubani na omele ukuba asebenze ekuzaleni abazali
Akukho mntu ukhuselwe ngumnqweno wokuba ngumzali obalaseleyo-kwanokuba kungenangqiqo-kodwa kukho iqela elibonakala lichaphazeleka ngokungafaniyo: oomama abasebenza.
Kukho izizathu ezibini ezilandelayo. Okokuqala, nabani na (indoda okanye ibhinqa) abasetyenziselwa ukuphakama phezulu kwindawo yokusebenzela baya kuziva ukuba kufuneka baphumelele kwezinye iindawo zabo zobomi. Ngelishwa, akukho ziphumo zokuzala ezicacileyo okanye izinto ezibalulekileyo ukuba umntu azuze kwimibandela yabazali njengokuba kukho iofisi.
Okwesibini, oomama abasebenza ngokuphindaphindiweyo baxela uxinzelelo olunzulu "ekuzame ukwenza konke." Uphando lweCare.com lucacise umonakalo obangelwa ngumthwalo wokuba ingcinezelo ingathatha kumama osebenzayo.
Amaphesenti anesibhozo azive ecinezelekile malunga nokukwenza konke, iipesenti ezingama-79 zivakalelwa ngathi ziwela emva kwaye ngaphezulu kwama-50 ekhulwini ziyesaba ukuba zilahlekile zibalulekile kwimihla ngemihla ebomini babo.
Abantwana bavame ukuziva benetyala lomzali , nabo. Uphando luka-2015 oluvela kwi-Pew Research Centre lubone ukuba phantse ama-50 ekhulwini booyise bathi baqhuba umsebenzi omkhulu okanye obalaseleyo njengomzali-oko kuthetha ukuba esinye isiqingatha asinakuzibeka amanqaku aphezulu ngaphambili.
I-Pew Research Centre yabona ukuba ootata banamhlanje bachitha, ngokuqhelekileyo, bathathu ubunani bexesha kunye nezingane zabo njengabantwana ngo-1965. Sekunjalo, phantse isiqingatha sabo bavakalelwa ukuba bachithe ixesha elaneleyo nabantwana babo.
Abazali abayena kuphela amaxhoba okuphelela abantwana, nangona kunjalo. Olu hlobo lwesimo sengqondo kumama nootata lunokuba nemiphumo ebalulekileyo kubantwana babo.
Iimiphumo ezimbi ezinganeni
Kukho umahluko phakathi komzali onemigangatho ephakamileyo kunye nokuba ngumphelelisi. Ukuba nemilinganiselo ephakamileyo yinto ebonakalayo ilungileyo kumzali kuba ibeka ulindele umntwana kwaye ibancedise ukuba baphumelele ebomini.
Umzali ongenakulinganiswa, nangona kunjalo, ubeka umntwana ukuba akholelwe ukuba ukuba akaphumelelanga imigangatho ephezulu, uyaphula. Ukubeka ingcinezelo eninzi kubantwana ukuba baphumelele bathumela umyalezo ongafanelekanga. Umntwana unokukhohlisa emsebenzini wakhe wesikolo ukuze athole amabakala amahle kuba unokucinga ukuba uxabisa ukuphumelela ngokunyaniseka. Abantwana babo bonke ubudala bafuna ukwenza iimpazamo ngaphandle kokwesaba imiphumo emibi, ukubonisa uphando, ukuze ufunde.
I-Perfectionism inokukhupha abantwana. Abantwana abacinga ukuba kufuneka bafezeke basengozini enkulu yeengxaki zempilo yengqondo , njengengxaki yokuxinezeleka, ukuxhalabisa kunye nokukhathazeka kokutya. Baye bahle ukufihla impawu zabo zeengxaki zempilo yengqondo ngokungaqhelekanga.
I-Perfectionism ayincedisi abantwana benza ngcono. Enyanisweni, kubangelwa ukuba babenze kakubi. Ukugqithiswa kwe-Perfectionism kudibaniswa nokuziphatha okuzimeleyo, njengokuzigweba. Okumangalisayo kukuba, ukugqibelela kukhulisa amathuba okuba umntwana angaphumeleli.
Xa ubeka ibha ephakamileyo, umntwana wakho unokuyeka. Ukuba uyazi ukuba akakwazi ukuhamba ngokuthe tye Njengoko, unokuyeka ukwenza umsebenzi wakhe wesikolo. Okanye, ukuba uyazi ukuba akayi kuba ngumdlali weenkwenkwezi, unokuyeka ukudlala imidlalo .
Ukuvumela Ukuhamba Ukuphelelwa Kwento
Akukho mntu uphelele. Umntwana wakho uya kukhula aze asebenze nabalingane abangafezekanga, abe nomntu ongafezekanga, okanye umlingane nomntu ongafezekanga. Ngoko nokuba ngaba ungumzali ophelele, awuyi kuba nantoni na.
Ukuyeka ukuhamba ngokugqibeleleyo akulula. Kodwa ukuzicheba-kunye nomntwana wakho-okunye ukuyeka, kunokubaluleka kwimpilo yakho yengqondo. Inokuphucula ubuhlobo bakho nomntwana wakho kwaye umise umntwana wakho ukuba uphumelele kwikamva.
Ingaba ulindele ukuba uphumelele okanye ulindele ukuphelela kumntwana wakho, ezi zicwangciso zinokunceda
- Cinga ngolwimi lwakho . Ingaba nje uphumelele i-ribbon kwi-science okanye iqela lakhe lahlekelwa ngumdlalo kwintsimi, thintela ukuxelela umntwana ukuba ukusebenza kwakhe kwakuyimpumelelo ngokupheleleyo okanye ukuba ukulahleka kwakubi. Kunoko, cela umntwana wakho ukuba abone oko akwenzileyo kakuhle noko akucinga ukuba unokukwenza kangcono ngexesha elizayo.
- Khawukhawuleze umntwana wakho. Ukuba ufumana ukukhala ngomntanakho ngenxa yokuba akazange awenze ibhedi yakhe ngokuchanekileyo okanye uyamthukuthelela ngokufumana amagama angepelisi angalunganga, thatha umoya. Khumbula ukuba abantwana bafanele benze iimpazamo kwaye impazamo nganye yithuba lokufunda.
- Hlalani kwiibhodi zemiyalezo kunye / okanye kwi-media media . Ukuzithelekisa kwabanye kuba iresiphi yokungabi nantoni. Khumbula, ubona kuphela intsimbi ebalulekileyo yomntu womnye umntu, kungekhona yonke ifilimu. Musa ukuthelekisa umntwana wakho nabanye abantwana nokuba. Bonke abantwana bahluke.
- Gxila kwizinto ozenzayo ngokufanelekileyo kubazali . Kulungile, ngoko ungeke ube ngowona mhle ekuphumeni ngemisebenzi yokufundisa, ukuphucula imihla ngemihla, kodwa mhlawumbi ucaye ukuthunga izambatho ze-Halloween kunye ne-cooking baking ngeveki. Yazisa amandla akho kwaye usebenzise inzondelelo encinci apho ungesiyinto ephezulu.
- Thumela imiyalezo enempilo malunga nokuhluleka . Yenza umntwana wakho enze iimpazamo aze aphumele ngamanye amaxesha. Thetha malunga nokuhluleka njengethuba lokufunda kwaye uyavuma ukuba ukungaphumeleli uvavanyo okanye ukungenzi umdlalo wesikolo kunzima, kodwa akusiyo isiphelo sehlabathi.
- Naka ingqalelo kwimizamo yomntwana wakho, kungekhona umphumo . Kunokuba udumise umntwana wakho ngokufumana i-A ekuvavanyeni, mdumise ngokufunda nzima. Okanye endaweni yokumxelela ukuba wenza umsebenzi omkhulu wokukora amanqaku amabini kumdlalo, mxelele ukuba uqaphele ukuba unxibe nzima. Emva koko, uya kuba nokugxininisa ekwenzeni okusemandleni akhe kunokuba aqinisekise ukuba ufezekisa kuzo zonke iindleko.
- Buyela xa umntwana wakho ephazamisekile . Kunceda ukunyamezela umntwana wakho xa elukhuni, kodwa ugxininisa ukuba uzama emva kokuba ahloliswe ngengqondo ayikho into efanelekileyo. Ukuba uqala ukuphazamisa imisebenzi awayeyithandayo, njengebhola okanye ipiyano, kunokuthi ube ngumqondiso osichukumisayo. Umngeni wakho ukuba enze kakuhle kodwa ungammququzeli ukwenza okungaphezulu kunokuba akwazi ukwenza.
Igama elivela kwi-Verywell
Ukuba ngaba ungumzali ongaphelelekanga kodwa unako ukuwufowunela kwakhona, musa ukuwukhupha kakhulu-kuyacaca ukuba usebenza nzima ukuze ube ngumzali ongcono. Kwaye ukuzimisela kwakho ukuvuma ubuthathaka bakho, ufunde kwiimpazamo zakho , kwaye uzenzele ukusilahla kuya kuba ngumzekelo omhle kumntwana wakho.
Ukuba kunjalo, akunakwenzeka ukuba uvumeleke ukuhamba kwimbono yokuba kufuneka ufezeke okanye ukuba umntwana wakho ufuna ukwenza ngokugqibeleleyo, cinga ukufuna uncedo lwezakhono. Ngamanye amaxesha, ukufuna ukufezekiswa kubangelwa yimpilo yengqondo, njengengxaki yokukhathazeka okanye imbali yentlekele. Ngamanye amaxesha, ukugqibelela kubangela iingxaki ezinzulu, njengengcinezelo engapheliyo okanye ubunzima bobudlelwane. Umqeqeshi oqeqeshiwe wezempilo yengqondo unokukunceda ukuba unqobe ukuphelela. Yaye loo nto ingaba yinto engcono kakhulu ongayenza wena nomntwana wakho.
> Imithombo:
> Care.com Ukusebenza AmaMama noxinzelelo: Yintoni iNgqungquthela Yakho yokumisa? Ishicilelwe ngoNovemba 20, 2017.
> Henderson A, Harmon S, uNewman H. Ixabiso lamamaKhaya ahlawule, nangona xa bengayithengi: Iziphumo zeMpilo zeMental of Motherhood Ideal. Imisebenzi yezesondo . 2015; 74 (11-12): 512-526.
> Lee MA, Schoppe-Sullivan S, i-CMK eDush. Ukuzaliswa kobungqina bokugqibelela njengendlela yokulungisa utshintsho lwabazali. Ubuntu boMntu ohlukeneyo . 2012; 52 (3): 454-457.
> Morin A. Izinto 13 Abazali Abanamandla Akunakwenzi: Ukukhulisa Abantwana Abazimeleyo Nokuqeqesha Ubomi babo Ubomi Bemihlali, Injongo, Nempumelelo . ENew York, NY: UWilliam Morrow, umshicileli weHarperCollins Publishers; 2017.
> Parker K, Livingston G. 6 iinkcukacha malunga noomama baseMerika. IPew Research Research Centre. Ishicilelwe ngoJuni 15, 2017.