Ukufumana abantwana ukuphulaphula ngethuba lokuqala othethayo banokuvakalelwa njengemfazwe ephakamileyo. Ingaba umntwana wakho ugxininisa ukuba akazange akuve okokuqala kathathu wambi wamxelela ukuba avaliwe umdlalo wakhe wevidiyo okanye wena uxabela rhoqo xa umxelela ukuba ulungele ukulala, ukuphindaphinda ngokwakho kunokukhathazeka.
Nangona iqhelekileyo-kwaye iphilile-abantwana ukuba baqinisekise ukuzimela kwabo kanye ngexesha, kufuneka bafunde indlela yokulandela izikhokelo.
Enye indlela yokuphucula ukuthotyelwa komntwana wakho kukucinga ngendlela ohambisa ngayo imiyalelo. Ukuba ufumana umkhwa wokwenza nayiphi na yezi zinto ezintlanu, usenokungacwangcisa ngengozi umntwanakho ukuba angaliphulaphuli. Qinisekisa ukuba awuyi kwenza naziphi na iimpazamo eziqhelekileyo xa unikeza abantwana bakho izikhokelo.
1. Unika izilumkiso ezininzi
Ukubala ukuya kathathu ngokuphindaphindiweyo, kubuza, "Ngamaxesha amaninzi kufuneka ndikuxelele?" Okanye uthi, "Esi sisilumkiso sakho sokugqibela," asiyi kusebenza. Ukuba unika izilumkiso ezininzi, umntwana wakho uya kufunda ukubiza i-bluff yakho.
Enyanisweni, ukunika izilumkiso ukuphinda uqeqeshe umntwana wakho ukuba angaliphulaphuli xa uqala ukuthetha. Kutheni usulela ngokukhawuleza kwaye wenze oko uthethayo ukuba uya kuphinda uphinda ngokuphindaphindiweyo amahlanu?
Ukuba uyaziphinda ngokwakho, umntwana wakho uya kuqala ukukuqamba. Nika iinkcukacha zakho kanye. Ukuba akaphulaphuli, landela ngesilumkiso kwaye ulungele ukumnika umphumo xa engathathi inyathelo.
2. Uzenza izisongelo ezingenanto
Izintsongo ezifana, "Awuyi kuvunyelwa ukuba uphume ngaphandle kwakhona ukuba awuhlambululi igumbi lakho ngoku!" Okanye, "Ndilahla zonke iimidlalo zakho ukuba ungazikhethi!" no ku sebenza.
Usenokuthetha ke ngoko xa uthetha ngokukhungatheka. Umntwana wakho, nokuba kunjalo, unokuqonda ukuba awuyi kukwazi ukulandela izigwebo .
Iingongelo ezisongelayo akuyona yodwa ingxaki. Ngamanye amaxesha, abazali bakwenza isisongelo esivakalayo simema. Ukuthi, "Ndiya kuguqula le moto ngoku nje ukuba awuvumeli ukuphikisana!" Inokuvakala njengomvuzo, kunokuba ijeziswe.
3. Usebenza kwiMfazwe yamandla
Kungaba lula ukuyifumana ingxabano nomntwana wakho ngaphandle kokuqaphela ukuba kwenzeke. Kodwa xa usuqala ukubandakanya, "Ewe unguye!" Kwaye "Hayi, andiyikho!" Imfazwe, ixesha elide umntwana wakho unokuphepha ukulandela emva kwemiyalelo yakho.
Ukuba uxelela umntwana wakho ukuba ahlambulule igumbi lakhe, kwaye uxela malunga nayo imizuzu engama-20, loo mizuzu engama-20 nje ukulibazisa ukwenza oko wakucelayo. Musa ukuphazamiseka ngumzabalazo wamandla . Kunoko, lungele ulandele umphumo xa umntwana wakho ekhetha ukungathobeli.
4. Awuwulandeli Ngeziphumo
Imiphumo emibi ifundisa umntwana wakho ukuba enze ukhetho olungcono kwixesha elizayo. Kodwa ukuba unzima ukulandela imiphumo ngokuqhubekayo, umntwana wakho akayi kufunda.
Ukusongela ukuthatha amalungelo ngaphandle kokwenjenjalo, ukunikela xa umntwana wakho ecela amalungelo, okanye ukunika imiphumo engayikukhathaza umntwana wakho ayiyi kusebenza. Yilandela ngemiphumo enengqiqo eya kuba ngumxholo wesifundo.
5. Uphakamisa izwi lakho
Xa umntwana engayiphuliphuli, abazali abaninzi bahendelwa ukuphakamisa amazwi abo. Kodwa ukumemeza akunakwenzeka ukukhokelela kwiziphumo ezintle. Umntwana wakho uya kufunda ukukuhlawula.
Ukongezelela, uphando lubonisa ukumemeza kungonakalisa nje ukutyana . Kuya kubonakalisa ulwalamano lwakho nomntwana wakho, okuya kunciphisa amathuba okuba umntwana wakho akuphulaphule kwixesha elizayo.
ILizwi elivela kwiTwellwell
Ukuba unzima ukufumana umntwana wakho ukuphulaphula, cinga indlela ongayinika ngayo indlela eyahlukileyo ngayo.
Kubalulekile ukulungiselela abantwana bakho kwilizwe lenene. Umphathi wakhe wexesha elizayo akasenakukukhumbuza amaxesha angama-10 ukuba kufuneka agqibe ingxelo okanye ugcwalise ikhefu.
Endaweni yoko, mhlawumbi wayejamelana nemiphumo ukuba wayengenzi oko wayekulindele kuye.
Yenze kube yimpumelelo ukuba umntwana wakho alalele okokuqala uthethayo . Kuza kusindisa kokubili ixesha kunye nokukhungatheka xa unomntwana uyazi ukuba uthetha ishishini.
> Imithombo
> Morin A. Izinto 13 Abazali Abanamandla Akunakwenzi: Ukukhulisa Abantwana Abazimeleyo Nokuqeqesha Ubomi babo Ubomi Bemihlali, Injongo, Nempumelelo . ENew York, NY: UWilliam Morrow, umshicileli weHarperCollins Publishers; 2017.
> Umzali J, uMckee LG, Forehand R. Seesaw Isiyalo: I-Effective Interactive ye-Harsh ne-Lax yoLuleko kwi-Youth Psychological Adjustment. I-Journal ye-Studies Child and Family Studies . 2015; 25 (2): 396-406.