Iingcebiso zokuba ngumzali u-Introvert
Nguwuphi umzali ongafuni ukukhulisa umntwana onoyolo kwaye onolungelelaniso? Senza konke okusemandleni ethu ukunceda abantwana bethu bazimisele ukujamelana nobomi baze baphumelele. Sifunda iincwadi zokubeletha ukuba sifunde malunga nazo zonke iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokukhulisa abantwana kwaye sifuna iingcebiso kubahlobo, kwintsapho nakwiingcali zabazali. Nangona kunjalo, maxa wambi iingcebiso kunye neengcebiso esizifumanayo aziqwalasele ukuba abanye abantwana bazisa.
Abantwana bama-Introverted bahlala bephosakele ngabantwana abanentloni, kodwa ukuba bahlaziye kwaye babe neentloni ayifani into efanayo . Abazali banokubona ukuba umntwana wabo akabonakali ukuba kunye nabanye abantwana. Umntwana wakhe angakhetha ukuchitha ixesha elilodwa ukufunda okanye ukubandakanyeka kwiminye imisebenzi ngaphandle kokufuna ngokuzimisela ubuhlobo bezinye izingane. Ukufuna umntwana olungelelanisiweyo, aba bazali banokufaka izicelo ngeengcebiso ezinokubangela ukuba badonsa abantwana ukuba baphumelele, kodwa abayi kutshintsha uhlobo lomntwana onokungena. Ukuba ucinga ukuba umntwana wakho ungeniswa, yiziphi iindlela ezilungileyo zokunceda umntwana wakho?
1. Qonda ukuVeza
Into yokuqala yokuyenza kukuba uqiniseke ukuba uyaqonda ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba u-introvert. Ukuqonda oko kuya kuhamba indlela ende ekuqondeni indlela umzali angayifaka ngayo. Unokufunda ezinye zeempawu eziqhelekileyo zokuqala ukuza kukunceda ukuba ezinye zeempawu ezibonakalisa umntwana wakho ziqhelekileyo kwizethulo kwaye akukho nto inokukhathazeka ngazo.
Ngokomzekelo, umntwana wakho angakhetha ukuchitha ixesha elilodwa egumbini lakhe kunye nomnyango uvaliwe kwaye akanakho ukwabelana ngemvakalelo lula.
Abantu badla ngokuxhalabisa ukuba umntwana ochitha ixesha wedwa kwaye akayi kuthetha ngeemvakalelo kuluhlobo oluneengcinezelo zengqondo ezifana nokudandatheka. Kuyinyaniso ukuba ukuziphatha okunjalo kungabonakalisa iimpawu zokudakumba, kodwa kwimeko apho, oko sikujongayo kukho utshintsho kwiipatheni zokuziphatha.
I-Introversion ayikho impendulo kwimpembelelo yangaphandle; ngumntu wobuntu. Ngamanye amazwi, umntwana ocacileyo kunye ophumayo okhutshwayo kwaye othulileyo akazange abe ngethuba lokungena ngokukhawuleza.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uxhalabele ngokwenene-ntliziyo eyenza abazali abaninzi (kunye nootitshala) bazama ukufumana abantwana abangenayo ukuba "bavule" kwaye bahlalisane nabanye abantwana. Uluhlu lweempawu zengeniso yindawo elungileyo yokuqala ukufumana ukuqonda kokuqala, kodwa yindlela nje yokufumana ingcamango engundoqo. Oko sifuna kukuqonda ngokubanzi malunga noko kuthetha ukuthini ukuba u-introvert. Umfanekiso opheleleyo we-introvert unokuba luncedo kakhulu. Xa ufunda iinkcukacha malunga nokuziphatha kweentlalo kunye nokusebenzisana kwabo, iimvakalelo zabo kunye nokuthetha kwabo, uya kuba nengqondo engcono yento ekuthethwa ngayo ukuba ube ngu-introvert kwaye uza kuba nombono ongcono ngakumbi wokuba umzali onjani.
2. Hlonipha iinqununu zabantwana bakho
Emva kokuba uqonde ngakumbi ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba u-introvert, uza kuba ngcono ukuqonda okukhethwa ngumntwana wakho. Kwaye emva kokuba uqaphele ukukhethwa komntwana wakho, kufuneka uhloniphe ezo zikhetho. Ngokomzekelo, izethulo zivame ukuba nazo (kwaye zidinga) abahlobo abambalwa.
Ukuba ubona ukuba umntwana wakho unomhlobo omnye okanye ababini xa ubona abanye abantwana abanezihlobo ezinhlanu okanye ngaphezulu, unokuqala ukuxhalabisa ukuba umntwana wakho unenkathazo yokunxulumana. Unokuziva ukuba umele ukhuthaze umntwana wakho ukuba enze abangakumbi abahlobo. Unokwenza amalungiselelo eemidlalo ezininzi kwaye ucele abantwana abaningana ngaphaya kwexesha. Usenokuzama ukuthetha nomntwana wakho ukuba ufumane ukuba yintoni "ingxaki".
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uyaqonda ukuba izethulo zizonwabile kunye nabahlobo abodwa okanye ababini kwaye ukungabikho kweqela labahlobo abakhulu akusiyo inkcazo yeengxaki zokunxulumana, ngoko unako ukhululeke ngokukhethekileyo kohlobo lomntwana wakho.
Ukuphoqa umntwana wakho ukuba achithe ixesha elide kunokuba afune kunye nabanye abantwana kwaye uzama ukumnyusa ukuba abe nobuhlobo obuninzi akuyi kumenza aphume. Kuza kunciphisa amandla amaninzi kuye kwaye kumenze angacatshangelwa (oko kunokukwenza ucinge ukuba ulungile ukuba unengxaki!) Kunoko, unokuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba akhokele ukuba ngubani ofuna ukuba ngabahlobo kunye nexesha elingakanani ufuna ukuchitha nabo.
Yamkela Umntwana Wakho
Ukwamkela umntwana wakho njengoko ubonisa umntwana wakho ukuba uyamthanda. Cinga ngendlela umntwana wakho anokuziva ngayo ngeempendulo zakho kwihambo yakhe. Ufuna into engcono kumntwana wakho, ngoko xa ubona umntwana wakho egcina yena ngaphezu kokuba ucinga ukuba kufanelekile, kungokwemvelo ukuba ufanele umkhuthaze ukuba enze abangakumbi abahlobo kunye nokuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nabahlobo bakhe. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uyenza ukuba azive ukuba indlela yakhe yokuziphatha ayiqhelekanga kwaye ukuba uyifumana ingxaki, kuya kuguqulwa kuye ngendlela ongenakuyenza. Uyakwazi ukuqala ukukholelwa ukuba kukho into engalunganga kuye kwaye unokuqala ukuziva ukuba awuyithandi ngenxa yaloo mpazamo. Ngaphandle koko, kutheni ufuna ukuba abe yinto engayiyo?
Sifanele sikhumbule ukuba abantwana abanesiphiwo esinokubangela ukuba babe neengqondo , ngoko oko bavakalelwa kukuba akunakuhlala kuba yinto esivakalelwa ngayo. Siyabathanda, kodwa xa sizama ukutshintsha, kubonakala ngathi asibathandi kwaye bayakwazi ukutolika oko kuthetha ukuba asibathandi. Kufuneka simthande abantwana bethu kwaye sibathande.
4. Ukuxhasa umntwana wakho
Xa uqonda ubunjani bomntwana wakho, ungabona ukuba abanye abanako ukwenza okulungileyo kumntwana wakho. Umzekelo, utitshala unokutshela ukuba umntwana wakho unenkathazo yokunxibelelana ngoba akayithandi ukusebenzisana nabanye abafundi kwimisebenzi yeqela. Unokumncoma umntwana ukuba athathe inxaxheba ngokuphangaleleyo. Le yimeko enzima kuba umsebenzi weqela uyingxenye ebalulekileyo yemfundo. Ufuna ukuxhasa umntwana wakho, kodwa awufuni ukuzama ukukholisa utitshala ukuba axolele umntwana wakho kumsebenzi weqela.
Oko ufuna ukukwenza kukunceda utitshala aqonde ukuba kutheni umntwana wakho engayithandi imisebenzi yeqela ngendlela abanye abantwana abenza ngayo. Unokuthabatha uvavanyo lomntu okhululekileyo kubantwana, okuza kukunika ingcamango engcono yobuntu bakho bomntwana, kubandakanywa nokuzazisa. Oku kunokukunceda uthethe ngutitshala malunga nokuziphatha komntwana wakho. Unokuze ukhuthaze uthisha ukuba athathe olunye lweeMvavanyo zeBantu bama-Myers-Briggs zamahhala kwi-inthanethi, njengalezo zivela kwi-Personality Pathways okanye kwi-HumanMetrics.
Ingongoma apha kukuba ufuna ukuqonda umntwana wakho kwaye uncede abanye baqonde. Ama-Introverts asenokuze abe ngumphefumlo weqela, kodwa ayenabantu abathandekayo!