Uninzi lwabantu abadala abacela abantwana ukuba bafihle imfihlelo baneenjongo ezilungileyo. Kodwa ngelishwa, kukho abantu abancinci abantu abaphanga abantwana kunye nempumelelo yabo yokuxhomekeka kuxhomekeke ekubeni banako ukutshela umntwana ukuba baqhubeke nokuziphatha kakubi njengemfihlo, emnyama. Yingakho kubalulekile ukufundisa abantwana ngeemfihlelo.
Iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zeMfihlelo
Fundisa umntwana wakho ngeentlobo ezahlukeneyo zeemfihlelo eziza kuhlangana nazo:
- Imfihlelo yokuzonwabisa : Iimfihlelo ezonwabileyo zingabandakanya umcimbi osiswini okanye isipho kumntu. Umntwana unokuxelelwa ukuba, "Ungamxeleli uMama into esiyithengileyo ngeKrismesi," okanye "Akukho Ntsapho etshiloyo esilungiselela umcimbi wokuzalwa wamangalisa."
- Iimfihlelo ezilimazayo : Ngamanye amaxesha, abantwana bayacelwa ukuba bafihle imfihlelo ngeenjongo ezilungileyo, kodwa ezo mfihlelo zisenokulimaza. Utatomkhulu unokuthi, "Musa ukuxelela abazali bakho ukuba uhlale uhamba ngexesha lakho lokulala," okanye abahlobo bathi, "Yidla le cookie, kodwa ungaxeleli umama wakho ndikunike yona!" Ezi mfihlelo zithumela umyalezo Umntwana wakho (okanye omnye umntu) unokungena enkingeni ngokuthetha inyaniso.
- Iimfihlelo eziyingozi : Abantwana abaxhomekeke kubantwana baxhomekeke kubantwana ukuba bagcine iimfihlelo zabo. Abaphangi bathi izinto ezinje, "Le nto iyimfihlo kwaye awukwazi ukuxelela mntu." Bangasongela abantwana ngeendlela eziliqela ukuze bahlale bethula. Abantwana abangazange bafundiswe ngeemfihlelo kaninzi abaqapheli ukuxelela umntu.
Indlela Yokuthetha Nomntwana Wakho Ngezifihli
Yenza kucace kumntwana wakho ukuba ekhaya lakho, awufihli imfihlelo. Fundisa umntwana wakho ngeentlobo ezahlukeneyo zeemfihlo kwaye kutheni kubalulekile ukuthetha nomntu omdala othembekileyo.
- Thetha rhoqo malunga neemfihlo ezikhuselekileyo nezikhuselekileyo. Qala ukuthetha nomntwana wakho emncinci ngemfihlo engaphephile. Chaza ukuba ngamanye amaxesha abantu bacela abantwana ukuba bafihle imfihlelo kuba benza izinto ezimbi. Yenza ingxoxo rhoqo kunye nomntwana wakho njengoko ikhono lomntwana wakho lokuqonda isihloko sikhula.
- Fundisa malunga neempembelelo ezikhuselekileyo nezingaphephile. Fundisa umntwana wakho oko kukuthi 'ukhuselekile' ngokubhekiselele 'kumnxeba ongaphephile.' Qinisekisa ukuba akaqondi mntu ngaphandle komzali okanye ugqirha kufuneka achukumise nayiphi na indawo evame ukugqutywa ngesitya sokuhlamba.
- Sebenzisa "ukumangaliswa" endaweni yokuba "yimfihlo." Thetha malunga neenkxalabo ezinempilo, ezifana nohambo olumangalisa ukuya elunxwemeni okanye umonakalo okhoyo. Cacisa ukuba imimangalo imele ibe yimnandi kwaye wonke umntu kufuneka azi ngokukhawuleza ngokukhawuleza-ngokungafani nemfihlelo enokuba "ngonaphakade."
- Xoxa nokubaluleka kokuthetha nabantu abadala abathembekileyo. Qinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho uyazi ukuba unokuhlala exelela ukuba ucela ukuba agcine imfihlo. Ingaba umhlobo wakhe wamxelela ukuba akakwazi ukuxelela umntu okanye umntwanana wathi, "Akunabanye babazali bakho," qi niseka ukuba uyazi ukuba kulungile ukukuxelela.
- Qinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho uya kuthi akuyi kubangela ukuhlwaywa. Abantwana abancinci baninzi baxelele abantwana baya kuba neengxaki ezinkulu ngokuxelela umntu ukuba kwenzekani. Qinisekisa ukuba umntwana uyazi ukuba akayi kuhlwaywa ngokuthetha inyaniso okanye ukutyhila nayiphi na imfihlelo. Ukongezelela, thetha nomntwana wakho malunga nokwahlukana phakathi kokukrazula nokuxelela .
Secrecy Vs. Ubumfihlo
Kubalulekile ukuba abantwana baqonde ukuba kukho umehluko phakathi kobumfihlo kunye nobumfihlo.
Ngenxa yokuba awuyi kugcina imfihlelo ayithethi ukuba ufanele uxelele ihlabathi lonke ngemicimbi yakho yangasese.
Xoxa nomntwanakho malunga nokuba ubani kufuneka abe nebucala xa esebenzisa indlu yokuhlambela okanye xa egqoke. Yenza imithetho yasekhaya ebonisa intlonelo yobumfihlo, njengokuthi "unqongqole kwiingcango ezivaliweyo kwaye ulinde imvume yokungena."
Njengoko umntwana wakho ekhula, gcina iingxoxo eziqhubekayo malunga nobumfihlo. Nangona ungafuni ukukhuthaza "iimfihlelo zentsapho," awufuni ukuba umntwana wakho adlulisele kwihlabathi ukuba unengxaki zemali okanye ukuba umntakwenu uyaphumelela izibalo.
Gcina iingxoxo eziqhubekayo malunga nelungelo ngalinye lentsapho eliyimfihlo kunye nokuba ukwabelana ngamabali anokuba neentloni akuyiyo inceba yokwenza.
Khangela ixesha elifundekayo kwaye ubambe iingxoxo eziqhubekayo malunga nokubaluleka kokuhlonipha ubumfihlo kwaye ungagcinanga imfihlelo.