Debunking i-Myths Ephakathi kobuhlobo obunobungqina obubi
Nazi iinyaniso ezili-11 malunga nobuhlobo zonke iintombazana kufuneka zikwazi? Ininzi abantu abaselula, ngokukodwa amantombazana, baye bathengela kwingcamango yeBFF, okanye umhlobo ogqithiseleyo ngonaphakade. Kodwa le ngcamango yokufumana umhlobo ongcono kunye nokuyigcina ngonaphakade ingaba yinto engakumbi kunokuba inyaniso yamantombazana amaninzi. Okongeziweyo, imbono ye-BFF iye yahlula enye apho ingazange ilwa, iyakusondeza kwaye ihlala isonwabile.
Kwaye, i-BFF ngaphezulu, ipholile.
Ngenxa yoko, amaninzi amantombazana agxininiswa kwingcinezelo yokufumana i-BFF kwaye awele emgibeni wokuzama ukuthandwa ngumntu wonke kunye nokukholisa abanye. Akukuphela nje oku kungonakaliswa, kodwa kuya kuvula umnyango kwiinkqutyana kunye noxinzelelo lwaontanga . Okwangoku, uphando lubonisile ukuba amantombazana abanobuqhetseba kunye nabahlobo bawo kuquka ukuvuleka kunye nokunyaniseka malunga neemvakalelo zabo zokwenene banxibelelana ngokusondeleyo nabahlobo babo.
Nangona kunjalo, kumantombazana amaninzi, xa ubomi babo bentlalo buhamba ngokukhawuleza, bayayichaza njengentlekele endaweni yecandelo. Ziyazigxeka kwaye zihlala zixhala. Ngenxa yoko, kubalulekile ukuthetha nentombi yakho malunga nobuhlobo bokwenene bobuhlobo. Mfundise ukuba imiba yobomi yinto ebomini. Mxelele ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba umhlobo abe nesinye isikhathi, ukuba amantombazana maxa wambi afana nenkwenkwe efanayo kwaye abahlobo abavumelanga ukuba bavumelane nayo yonke into.
Qinisekisa ukuba naye unokukwazi ukubona amantombazana athethayo kunye nabahlobo bamanga , kwaye uyazi iimpawu zobuhlobo obuhle .
Kodwa ebaluleke kakhulu, yabelana ngokubanda, inyaniso enzima malunga nobuhlobo bokwenene bobuhlobo. Xa wenza, intombi yakho ayinakukwazi ukuzibetha xa kuvela iingxabano. Kwaye uya kuba nokufuna ngakumbi inkxaso kunye nokuqhubela phambili.
Esikhundleni sokulindela ubuhlobo obugqibeleleyo ngaso sonke ixesha, uya kufunda ukulungelelanisa xa ubuhlobo bakhe bubetha i-bump endleleni.
Nazi izinto ezili-11 ezinzima kodwa ezibalulekileyo malunga nobuhlobo ukuba ngamnye umzali axelele iintombi zabo. Ngokwenza njalo, mhlawumbi unokumncedisa intlungu ephosakeleyo phantsi kweendlela.
Ubuhlobo obugqibeleleyo yiNtsomi. "
Kuza kubakho ixesha kubo bonke abahlobo bamantombazana apho acaphukisa into into umhlobo wakhe athi okanye akwenzayo. Ngobuhlobo obuhle, unokwabelana naye ngeemvakalelo zinyaniso ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuba ubuhlobo buya kuphelela. Enyanisweni, le ngquzulwano ngamanye amaxesha yenza ubuhlobo obomeleleyo kwaye bufuphi. Ukongezelela, kuya kubakho amaxesha, apho intombi yakho iya kufuna ukuwamkela i-quirks encinci malunga nabahlobo bakhe abayiphathayo kwaye bavumele ukuba batye. Akufanele azame ukulungisa okanye ukutshintsha abahlobo bakhe. Xa esamkela abahlobo bakhe kuba ngubani, kwaye bamkela ukuba ngubani, ubuhlobo buya kuba namandla ngakumbi ekupheleni.
"Ngamanye amaxesha Uya Kuyeka okanye Ungabikho."
Ukukhutshwa kungenzeka ngenxa yokuba umntu uxhaphaza intombi yakho ngokuzama ukumgxotha . Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, impazamo elula kwaye umntu ukhohliwe ukuquka intombi yakho. Ngamanye amaxesha, ngumcimbi wendawo kwaye umntu omemayo unqunyelwe ukuba bangaphi abantu abanokubandakanya.
Into ebalulekileyo ukukhumbuza intombi yakho kukuba kuya kwenzeka kwaye kukuqhelekile ukuba uzive uhlungu ngenxa yalo. Kodwa akuthethi ukuba ubomi buphelile. Qiniseka ukuba intombi yakho iyaqaphela ukuba akufanele ilinde iimemo zokwenza into emnandi. Kunoko, mkhuthaze ukuba enze isimemo esizayo.
"Ngamanye amaxesha abahlobo bahlukana."
Khumbuza intombi yakho ukuba "abahlobo abakhulu kunaphakade," akunakwenzeka. Kufana nokuthandana. Ngamanye amaxesha abahlobo bayaphula, nabo. Xa ubuhlobo buphela, ngokuqhelekileyo luphawu lokuba into ephukile. Khuthaza intombi yakho ukuba ingahlali kuyo into eyayibe nayo, kodwa kunokuba uyibukele njengethuba lokuvumela umhlobo olandelayo.
Qaphela ukuba intombi yakho inokudabuka ngamava, kodwa uyikhumbuze ukuba intliziyo yakhe iyaneliseka . Uya kufumana kwakhona umhlobo omtsha ngokutsha ngokukhawuleza.
"Ukufuna Ukuchitha Zonke Ixesha Lakho Ngokubambisana Akukwenzeki."
Kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba ubuhlobo buqhube kunye nokugqithisa kwaye kulindeleke ukuba into eyahlukileyo ayiphilile. Khumbuza intombi yakho ukuba kuya kuba namaxesha apho umhlobo wakhe exakeke kakhulu ngemisebenzi kunye nezibophelelo zokuchitha ixesha kunye. Okanye, kubekho amaxesha apho exakeke kakhulu. Ngayiphi na indlela, inokuba yenzakaliswa ukuba ingabi naso kunye kunye, kodwa ayinakunqabile. Ukwenza ukuba umntu ngokuqhelekileyo wenze izinto zibe zibi nakakhulu. Qinisekisa ukuba intombi yakho iyaqonda ukuba ukunyanzela okanye ukunyanzelisa inokuqhuba umhlobo. Mncede uqaphele ukuba ukuphuka kumhlobo akuyona into embi. Esikhundleni salokho, kumvumela ukuba sikwazi ukufumana ezinye izihlobo angazinxibelelana nazo.
"Ngokufanayo, isithandwa sakho akufanele sisebenzise lonke ixesha lakho."
Amantombazana amaninzi enza iphutha lokuyeka abahlobo babo xa nje inkwenkwe ifike. Kodwa nje ngobudlelwane bakhe, ubudlelwane bakhe obusondelene naye buphilile xa engasichitha ixesha lakhe kunye nomntu oyedwa. Kubi kakhulu ukuba iqabane lakhe lifuna ixesha layo. Ukuqhafaza kunye nokulawula ishedyuli yeentombi yakho kuyisilumkiso sokuxhatshazwa kokuthandana . Qinisekisa ukuba intombi yakho iyazi ukuba ubudlelwane obunempilo buqilileyo kunye nokuchitha ixesha kunye nabahlobo kunye nexesha kunye nesoka lakhe. Kwakhona, qi niqiniseke ukuba uyazi ukubona ukutshutshiswa nokutshatyalaliswa ngaphambi kokuba angene ngaphakathi.
"Yonke intombazana iyamangalisa ukuba ubuhlobo bayo banjengokuVala njengabanye abantu."
Amantombazana athathele ubungqina bawo kwizinto afunda ngazo kwiincwadi, jonga kumabhayisikobho okanye ubukele kumabonwakude. Khumbuza intombi yakho ukuba le mizekelo iyinyani kwaye ayikho imizekelo yangempela-bomi. Kwakhona ayifumaneki. Ngokufanayo, oko akujonga kumaziko ezentlalo zentlalo, njenge-Instagram kunye ne-Twitter, nazo azikho izibonakaliso ezilungileyo zeziphi ubungani babantu abafana nazo. Khumbuza intombi yakho ukuba imidiya yezokuhlalisana nje yinto ebonakalayo yobomi bomntu. Uninzi lwabantu lufakela imifanekiso kuphela ebonisa izinto ezinomdla wobomi babo. Oko intombi yakho engayiboniyo ngamaxesha apho abo bafundi beklasini nabo bekhaya bebuhlungu. Qiniseka ukuba intombi yakho iyazi ukuba akunangqiqo ukuqhathanisa ubomi bakhe kwinqanaba elincinane lobomi bomnye umntu.
"Ngamanye amaxesha Uya kuba nabahlobo abangafaniyo."
Uphando lubonisa ukuba akuphelelanga nje ukufumana abahlobo kwiindidi ezahlukeneyo, kodwa kunceda ukunqanda ukuxhatshazwa . Ngokomzekelo, intombi yakho ingaba nabahlobo abadlala umdlalo okanye isixhobo esifanayo, abahlobo ababaziyo ukusuka esikolweni sokuqala kunye nabahlobo abayaziyo ukusuka kwicawa. Kodwa into ayengayiqondi kukuba ngenxa yokuba unobungane kunye naba bantu abahlukeneyo, oku akuthethi ukuba bathe bathandane. Mxelele ukuba anganyanzeli umcimbi. Kungokwemvelo ukuchitha ixesha kunye neeseti ezahlukeneyo zabahlobo. Kodwa ufanele alinde nabani na okhohlakeleyo, ongamhloneliyo okanye othethekileyo kumnye wabahlobo bakhe. Nangona kuhle ukuba umhlobo wakhe angahambelani nomntu, akuyilayisenisi yokumxhaphaza loo mntu. Ukuba wakho umhlobo ushumayela ubungqina phakathi kwabahlobo bakhe, qiniseka ukuba uxhotyiswe ngezixhobo zokumelana nokuxhatshazwa . Akufanele abe ngummeli wokuxhatshazwa phakathi kwabahlobo bakhe.
"Uya kuba Nabani Abahlobo Abangenabo Abahlobo Konke."
Qiniseka ukuba intombi yakho iyazi ukuba kuza kubakho ubuhlobo kubanye bakhe ubuhlobo xa eqonda ukuba ubuhlobo buhlangene. Oku kuqonda kuya kumlimaza, kodwa umkhumbuze ukuba ukuhambela phambili kuvumela indawo yokuhlala, ubuhlobo obuphilileyo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ahambe kude namantombazana anentsingiselo kunye nabahlobo abanetyhefu . Ngexesha elide achithayo nabantu abangenabungozi, umthwalo omkhulu uya kumthabatha. Ngokukhawuleza uyaqonda ukuba kufuneka aqhube phambili, bhetele kuya kuba nguye.
"Kuya kuba Nohlobo Olufuna Ukukulawula."
Qinisekisa ukuba uqala ukufundisa intombi yakho indlela yokuqinisekisa kwaye ukumela oko akukholelwayo. Xa ehlaba esikolweni esiphakathi ubuqili bezenhlalakahle luqinisa kwaye buphuma kule nkcazo kwaye kuthetha ukuba intombazana ivela. Ukuba intombi yakho iyazi ukuba ngubani na kwaye ikhululekile kwesikhumba sakhe, iya kuba namandla ngakumbi ekuxhaseni uxinzelelo ukuba angene kuyo. Kodwa, kukho intombazana enqwenela ukuba ibe yinto eyaziwayo ukuba iya kubavumela abanye ukuba balawulwe kubo. Qiniseka ukuba uxhobisa intombi yakho ukuba ijongane nale nto. Mkhumbuze ngeengcambu zokuthandwa nokubaluleka kokunyaniseka kuye.
"Kufuneka Uzame Ukugcina Ubungane."
Amantombazana amancinci ahlala ecinga ukuba ngenxa yokubhala kunye nokusebenzisa imidiya yoluntu, ukuba banokugcina ubungani bephila. Kodwa qiniseka ukuba intombi yakho iyazi ukuba ngabahlobo kwi-Facebook, ukuthanda imifanekiso kwi-Instagram nokwenza i- Snapchat ibali alifanelanga nobuhlobo obunentsingiselo. Ubuhlobo obuphilileyo bukhula xa abantu bechitha ixesha kunye, ubuso nobuso. Khuthaza intombi yakho ukuba ichithe ixesha kunye nabahlobo bayo. Vula ikhaya lakho kwaye uvumele ukuba baxhomeke apho okanye bazimisele ukuwathatha ukuthenga, kwiifilimu, ngaphandle kwekrimu okanye ukujonga indawo. Injongo yinto yokuba intombi yakho ifunda ukuba kufuneka ichithe ixesha kunye nabahlobo bayo ukuze kuphuculwe ubungqina obuqinileyo.
"Ubuhlobo Bumsebenzi Okhuni, Kodwa Bafanele."
Mkhumbule intombi yakho ukuba abahlobo bakhe bayomlahla. Baya kwenza iimpazamo kwaye bangamlimaza. Akukho mntu uphelele. Kodwa ubuhlobo obulungileyo bufanelekile umzamo awawenzayo. Kuya kufuna ukuba utyalomali wexesha lakhe kunye namandla akhe. Kwaye kunokufumana uhlazo oluthile endleleni. Kodwa ukuba usebenza ngquzulwano, unokufumanisa ukuba uyakwazi ukwakha into eqinile endleleni. Ngaphezu koko, kuya kuba mnandi kakhulu phakathi.