Iindlela ezili-12 zokuba ngumzali othembekileyo ngakumbi

Uphando luchaza indlela eLawulayo yokuBakholwa ngabazali

Akukho ndlela enye yokukhulisa abantwana kakuhle. Emva kwakho konke, ukuba ngumzali akusiyo inzululwazi ngqo. Kukho ubuncinane ubugcisa bokuba ngumzali onobuhle.

Abaphandi abahlola iindlela zokubeletha baye bafumana abazali abagunyazayo bavuyisa abantwana abanonophelo kunye nabaphilileyo abakulungele ukujamelana nemingeni yehlabathi.

Iindaba ezilungileyo kukuba, wonke umntu unako ukuba ngumzali ohloniphekileyo. Kwaye unokufanisa neendlela ezifanelekileyo zokuba ngumzali kumoya oyingqayizivele womntwana ukuqinisekisa ukuba awusebenzisi indlela yokukhupha i-cookie kubazali.

Nazi izicwangciso ezilishumi elinambini eziza kukunceda ube ngumzali obalaseleyo.

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Mamela Umntwana Wakho
UMike Kemp / Imifanekiso yeBlue / Getty Izithombe

Ngokungafani nabazali basemagunyeni, bakholelwa ukuba abantwana kufuneka babonakale bengavumi, abazali abagunyazayo bayamkela imbono yabantwana babo. Baphulaphula iingxaki zabo kwaye bavumele ukuba babelane ngeengcamango zabo.

Nangona umntwana wakho ekutshela ihlaya elifanayo okweshumi, okanye ekwabeleni ibali elide, ube ngumphulaphuli omhle. Ukunika ingqalelo umntwana wakho ngenyameko kukude ukukhusela iingxaki zokuziphatha.

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Qinisekisa iimvakalelo zabantwana bakho

Abazali abagunyazayo bayavuma iimvakalelo zabo zabantwana. Banceda abantwana babalawule iimvakalelo zabo kwaye bafundise ukuba baqonde indlela iimvakalelo zabo ezichaphazela ngayo ukuziphatha kwazo.

Ngoko ixesha elizayo xa umntwana wakho ecaphukile, xhathisa ukunciphisa imizwa yengane yakho ngokuthi, "Akunanto enkulu," okanye "Yeka ukukhala. Akukho sizathu sokucaphukisa. "Kuye, inokuba yinto enkulu. Qinisekisa iimvakalelo zakhe ngokuthi, "Ndiyazi ukuba unesihlungu ngokwenene ngoku."

Ukulungisa indlela aziphathe ngayo, kungekhona iimvakalelo zakhe. Mxelele kulungile ukuba uzive umsindo, kodwa uya kumnika iziphumo zokubetha. Okanye kulungile ukuba uzive uvuyo kodwa ukugijima ngaphakathi kwisitolo sokutya akulungile. Emva koko, tyala amandla akho ekumfundiseni iindlela ezamkelekileyo zokusingatha iimvakalelo zakhe .

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Cinga ngeemvakalelo zabantwana bakho

Ukuba negunya kuthetha ukuthabatha iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho. Oko akuthethi kuthi ke, ukuba umntwana wakho uvoti olulinganayo-oluya kuba ngumzali ovumelekileyo.

Bonisa umntanakho ukuba uyayiphendula, kodwa yenza ukuba wazi ukuba unomdla malunga nokuba izigqibo zakho zichaphazela njani umntu osapho.

Ngoko ukuba uceba ukuhamba kulo lonke ilizwe, mbuze indlela oziva ngayo ngokuhamba-kodwa ungamceli ukuba kulungile ukuba uhamba. Abantwana abanalo ubulumko namava ukuba benze izigqibo ezinkulu zabantu abadala. Baziva bekhuselekile xa beyazi ukuba abantu abadala bayazi kakuhle.

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Ukuseka iMigaqo ecacileyo

Abazali abagunyazayo banemithetho yekhaya ecacileyo. Benza isiqiniseko sokuthi abantwana bayazazi izilindelo zabo ngaphambi kwexesha kwaye bachaza izizathu ezivela kwimithetho yabo.

Ngoko kunokuba uthi, "Hlala ulale ngenxa yokuba ndathi," Hamba ulale ukuze uncede umzimba wakho kunye nengqondo yakho ikhule. "

Xa umntwana wakho eqonda ukuxhalaba kwezinto ezikhuselekileyo, iingozi zempilo, imiba yokuziphatha, okanye izizathu zentlalo kwimithetho yakho, uya kuhlakulela ukuqonda okungcono ubomi. Uya kuba nako ukulandela imigaqo xa ungekho ukunyanzelisa.

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Ukunikezela isilumkiso esisodwa kwiingxaki ezincinci

Abazali abagunyazayo banikezela ngokukhawuleza ukuphulwa komthetho. Ukuba umntwana uyabulala, unokufakwa ngexesha lokuphuma okanye angalahlekelwa ilungelo .

Kodwa ngemibandela emincinci, banikela isilumkiso. Batshela abantwana ukuba iziphumo ziya kuba njani xa bengatshintshi ukuziphatha kwabo.

Ngoko musa ukuchitha ixesha lakho uthetha izinto ezingenanto engenakuthi, "Khuphela," okanye "Ungenzi ukuba ndikuxelele kwakhona!" Endaweni, tshela, "Ukuba ungayeki ukukhwaza ifom yakho etafileni uphumelele ' Ndiyakwazi ukudlala imidlalo yevidiyo namhlanje, "okanye" Ukuba awuyi kuthatha amathoyizi akho ngoku, awukwazi ukuhamba epakini emva kwemini. "

Bonisa umntwana wakho ukuba uthetha ukuthini kwaye uthetha oko utshoyo. Ukuba akaphulaphuli isilumkiso sakho, landela ngokulandela.

Gwema ukunikela izilumkiso ezininzi. Ukuphindaphinda uqeqeshe umntwana wakho ukuba angavumi ukuqala kokuthetha kwakho.

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Sebenzisa iziphumo ezifundisa izifundo zobomi

Abazali abagunyazayo ababenzi abantwana babandezeleka ngenxa yeempazamo zabo. Baye baphephe abantwana behlazo kwaye abasebenzisi izijeziso .

Kwakhona abasebenzisi iimeko zecala okanye bathi izinto ezinje, "Ndiyadumala kuwe." Bayanceda umntwana abone ukuba wenze ukhetho olubi, kodwa akayena mntu mbi.

Iziphumo zisoloko ziqondakala ngokwemvelo. Ngoko umntwana onqaba ukuvala umdlalo wakhe wevidiyo unokulahlekelwa ngamalungelo akhe emidlalo yeeyure ezingama-24.

Yenza imiphumo eya kunceda umntwana wakho afunde ukwenza okulungileyo kwixesha elizayo. Ukuba uxabela umntakwabo, musa ukumgxotha. Kunoko, thatha ilungelo. Emva koko, gxininisa ekumfundiseni ulawulo olungcono lomsindo okanye izakhono zokusombulula iingxabano.

Buza, "Yintoni ongayenza ngokuzayo xa uqala ukucaphukisa ukuze ungabetha?" Emva koko, thetha ngeendlela ozikhethayo uze umfundise ezinye iindlela zokubetha.

Yenza imiphumo yexesha elibuhlungu. Esikhundleni sokuthi, "Unokubuyisela ithebhulethi yakho xa ndiyakuthemba kwakhona," tshela, "Ungasebenzisa kwakhona ithebhulethi yakho xa ungangibonisa ukuba unoxanduva. Unokubonisa ukuba unoxanduva lwakho ngokugqiba imisebenzi yakho kwaye wenze umsebenzi wesikolo owenziweyo ngexesha ngalinye leveki. "

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Izibonelelo zokunikela

Abazali abagunyazisileyo basebenzisa umvuzo ukukhuthaza abantwana. Oko akuthethi ukuba bathambisa abantwana abanezipho ezintle, nangona kunjalo.

Kunoko, xa umntwana enenkinga ethile yokuziphatha, basebenzisa izikhuthazo zokunceda umntwana abuyele kwindlela. Nazi izibonelo ezimbalwa:

Cinga indlela ongasebenzisa ngayo imivuzo ukufundisa umntwana wakho izakhono ezintsha. Isicwangciso somvuzo esilula sisindlela esheshayo kunye neendlela ezifanelekileyo zokutshintsha ukuziphatha komntwana wakho.

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Yenza Umntwana Wakho Ayenokhetho oluncinane

Abazali abagunyazayo banikeza inketho ngaphezu kokukhetha okungundoqo. Oku kunika abantwana amandla kwaye baya kubalungiselela ukwenza izigqibo ezinkulu emva koko ebomini.

Ngoko cela umntwanakho, "Ngaba ufuna i-peas okanye ingqolowa?" Okanye "Ngaba ufuna ukucoca igumbi lakho ngaphambi okanye emva kokutya?" Isihluthulelo kukuqinisekisa ukuba unokuhlala kunye naluphi ukhetho.

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Ukulungelelanisa Inkululeko kunye noxanduva

Abazali abagunyazayo balindele ukuba abantwana babo babe noxanduva kwaye bawabeka ukuba baphumelele. Nazi izimbalwa ezimbalwa zendlela anokukwenza ngayo:

Ukuba umntwana wakho unzima nento ethile, yenza isicwangciso solawulo lokuziphatha esiza kuxhasa imizamo yomntwana wakho ukuba ube ngumntu ozimeleyo.

Nika inkxaso eyongezelelweyo ekuqaleni, kodwa qiniseka ukuba umntwana wakho akaxhomekeke ngakumbi kuwe ukuba umxelele ukuba wenzeni. Emva kwexesha, kufuneka abe ngokuzimelela.

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Yenza iimpazamo ekufundeni Amathuba

Abazali abagunyazayo abahlazisi abantwana ngenxa yokwenza iimpazamo. Kunoko, banceda bafunde indlela yokuguqula loo mpazamo ekufundeni amathuba.

Ngoko xa umntwana wakho enza iphosakelo, cacisa ukuba kutheni ukuziphatha kwakhe kwakungalunganga. Yithi into enjengaleyo, "Ukuthatha izinto ezingezizo akuphosakeleyo. Kubuhlungu abanye abantu kunye nokubangela ukuba abantu bacinge ukuba unyanisekileyo okanye ukuba awuxeleli inyaniso. "

Xa umntwana wakho ebuhlungu umntu, mncede enze izilungiso. Unxininise umboleko wakhe oyintandokazi kuye udadewabo emva kokubetha. Okanye, ncedise uxolo kumntu owamcaphukisa.

Ukuba umntwana wakho uyaphula umthetho, ukulungisa ingxaki kunye. Yithi, "Le yeso sibini ulahlekelwe ibhasi kule nyanga. Yintoni ocinga ukuba iya kukunceda ukuba uye kwindawo yokuma kwebhasi ngexesha? "

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Khuthaza ukuzithoba

Abazali abagunyazayo abanomdla wokulawula abantwana babo-bafuna ukufundisa abantwana ukuba baziphathe.

Ngoko musa ukuhlalisa umntwana wakho phantsi rhoqo xa edidekile. Mfundise indlela yokuzihlaziya. Yaye ungacingi umntwana wakho ukuba enze imisebenzi yakhe. Mncede abe nexanduva lokufumana umsebenzi wakhe wedwa.

Yakha isicwangciso sokuziphatha sokugxila ekugxileni izakhono zobomi. Ukulawula umfutho, ukulawula umsindo , nokuzikhusela kuya kumnceda ubomi bakhe bonke.

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Gcina Ubuhlobo Obunempilo noMntwana Wakho

Umzali ogunyazisiweyo awukho malunga nokuqhawula umyalelo nokugxininisa nokuthobela. Kunoko, malunga nokuba ngumzekelo omhle kunye nokufundisa izakhono zobomi bezingane.

Ngokungafani nabazali basemagunyeni, abazali abagunyazayo bafudumele kwaye banothando. Babonisa uthando kwaye bayazi ukuba kubalulekile ukukhulisa abantwana.

Beka eceleni imizuzu embalwa imihla ngemihla ukuze unike umntwana wakho ingqwalasela engacatshangwanga-nangemihla xa eziphatha kakubi. Ukuchitha ixesha elifanelekileyo kunye kunye nomncedisi uya kunceda umntwana wakho azizwe emthandayo aze amkelwe, eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekumncedeni ukuba uyathembele ukuba ungubani kwaye uyakwazi ukufeza.

> Imithombo

> Hesari NKZ, Hejazi E. Uxanduva oluxhasayo lokuzimela ngokubambisana phakathi koBugcisa boBani boBugcisa. Iprocedia - IzeNtlalo nezoNzululwazi . 2011; 30: 1724-1730.

> Piko BF, Balázs MÁ. Isitayela sokuba ngumzali ovunyelweyo kunye nokutshaya nokusela. Iingxaki zokuLungisa . 2012; 37 (3): 353-356.

> Smetana JG. Uphando lwangoku malunga neendlela zokubeletha, ubukhulu, kunye neenkolelo. I-Opinion yangoku kwi-Psychology . 2017; 15: 19-25.