I-barbershop yaseGeorgia yenza iintloko zesizwe xa beqala ukunikela ngeenwele zokukhwabanisa ukuze bahlaziye abantwana behlazo. Abanye babibiza ngokuthi "inwele yendoda endala," kwaye abanye babhekisela kuyo ngokuthi "i-Benjamin Button Special". Ukunyusa izinwele, okubhekiselele ekufundiseni abantwana isifundo, kubandakanya ukucheba iinqununu zeentloko zabo ukuze bajonge ngathi baling men.
Ngokucacileyo, ukuthumela umntwana esikolweni esiprayimari njengokuba uGeorge Jefferson uthumela umyalezo ocacileyo.
Kodwa, ukuhlazisa umntwana ngeenjongo kunokubuya. Ukuba ucinga ukujongana nokuziphatha kakubi kunye neenwele eziphoxisayo, zi zizathu ezisixhenxe zokuba kutheni ufuna ukucinga kwakhona ngolu khetho:
Ukuthotywa kweentlanga kungakhokelela kwezinye iingxaki. Ukuthumela umntwana wakho esikolweni ngeenwele eziphosakeleyo kunokumema ukuhlekwa koluntu kwiontanga. Ukuxhatshazwa yingxaki enkulu kubantu abatsha kule mihla kwaye ukuzama ukuhlazisa umntwana ngenjongo kunokubangela ukuba athathe abanye abafundi. Ngelishwa, abantwana abaninzi bahlakulela imiba yengqondo, iingxaki zentlalo, kunye nemicimbi yemfundo ngenxa yokuxhatshazwa.
2. Abantwana abaziva bazibi ngabo ngokwabo banokungena enkingeni. Uphando lubonisa ukuba abantwana abachazwe kwisicwangco esisemgangathweni banokukwazi ukuzama ukusebenzisa iziyobisi kunye notywala kunye nokuba banokuba neengxaki zomthetho xa beselula. Akunamathuba amaninzi okusebenzisa isondo ngokukhuselekileyo.
Kubalulekile ukusebenzisa izicwangciso zokuziphatha ezigcina ukuzithemba ngokusemgangathweni ukukhusela iingxaki zokuziphatha ezizayo.
Thumela umyalezo othi, "Ukuziphatha kwakho kubi," kunokuthi, "Ubi." Umntwana oziva kakuhle ngaye unakho ukukhuthazwa ukuba alandele imithetho. Uya kuba neentembelo ezithe xaxa kumandla akhe okukhusela uxinzelelo lwabaontanga kwaye uya kufuna ukwenza ukhetho oluphilileyo.
3. Ukunyamezela abantwana kuyanciphisa uvelwano lwabo kwabanye. Uphando lubonisa ukuba abantwana abahlaziwayo ngabanonophelo bahlala betyala abanye ngenxa yeengxaki zabo kwaye abanengqondo encane kulabo abasondezayo. Kwakhona banamathuba okwanda kwenzalo kunye nomsindo kwaye banokukwazi ukuziphatha kakubi . Abantwana abahlazekayo nabahlekisayo ngabazali babo banako ukuphatha abanye abantwana ngendlela efanayo.
4. Ihlazo lichaphazela impilo yengqondo. Abantwana abanamahloni basengozini yokuphuhlisa imiba yengqondo. Uphando ludibanise uqeqesho olusisiseko senkathazo kunye nokuzithoba, ukuxinezeleka, kunye nokukhathazeka okuxhalabisayo. Kananjalo banakho amathuba okuphuhlisa iimpawu zokugula, ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo emva kwe-postum (PTSD) kunye nokuzibulala.
5. Ihlazo alifundisi ukuziphatha. Ukunika umntwana wakho inwele ephosakeleyo ayiyi kumfundisa ngokufanelekileyo kokungalunganga. Enyanisweni, abantwana abaziva benetloni badla ukugxeka abanye ngokuziphatha kwabo, kunokuba bathathe uxanduva okanye bafunde ukuhlakulela ukuziphatha okufanelekileyo.
Ngokungafani namahlazo, ityala linokufundisa abantwana ukuziphatha. Ukubonakalisa ukudanwa kwindlela yokuziphatha komntwana kunokukhokelela ekubeni netyala-enokuba yimpendulo enempilo yokulimaza abanye okanye ukuphula imithetho. Esikhundleni sokuhlazisa umntwana ngenjongo, cacisa ukuba awuvumelani kwaye unikeze umphumo onengqiqo .
Ukuhlazisa umntwana wakho kuyonakalise ulwalamano lwakho. Abantwana bashukumisekile ukuphulaphula abantu abadala ababaphatha ngokuhlonela. Xa uhlazisa esidlangalaleni umntwana, amathuba okufuna ukuthetha nawe malunga neengxaki okanye imiba eqhubekayo ebomini bakhe incitshiswa kakhulu. Uza kulahleka ukuthembela nokuthembeka kwaye usenokungachukumisi umntwana wakho.
7. Kukho iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokuqeqeshwa ezingabandakanyi iintloni. Ngokuqinisekileyo abantwana badinga ukuqeqeshwa ukuze bancede bafunde kwiimpazamo zabo. Kukho iindlela ezininzi zokuqeqesha ezisebenza ngokugqithiseleyo kunokuba zihlaziye uluntu. Iinkqubo zoqoqosho lweetokethi , iinkqubo zemivuzo , kunye nokuthatha amalungelo anokuba luncedo kakhulu xa zisetyenziselwa njalo.
Ezi zixhobo zibonise ukuphumelela okungazenzisiyo kubantwana abaneengxaki ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha.
Ukuba ulahlekelwe yindlela yokujongana neengxaki zokuziphatha, khangela uncedo lwezakhono . Ngamanye amaxesha, iingxaki zokuziphatha ezifana ne- ADHD okanye i- ODD inokubangela ukuziphatha kakubi kunye nonyango kunokunciphisa kakhulu iimpawu. Ngamanye amaxesha, abantwana abanalo izakhono ezisisiseko, njengendlela yokuxazulula iingxaki okanye ukulawulwa komgudu . Ingcali yengqondo yengqondo ingasebenza kunye nawe ukufundisa umntwana wakho indlela yokuphatha indlela yakhe yokuziphatha. ukuziphatha.
Iingxelo:
Ashby JS, Rice Rice KG, Martin JL. Ukuphelela, ukuhlazeka, kunye neempawu ezixinezelekileyo. Umbhalo woNgcaciso noPhuhliso. 2006; 84 (2): 148-156.
UBennett DS, uSullivan MW, utshintsho lwabantwana baka Lewis Lewis Young njengomsebenzi wokuphathwa kakubi, uhlazo kunye nomsindo. Ukunyanzeliswa kwabantwana . 2005; 10 (4): 311-323
Stuewig J, McCloskey L. Impembelelo yokunyanzelwa kakubi kwintloni kunye nentyala yenkwenkwezi: iindlela zengqondo zokudandatheka nokugqithisa. Ukunyanzeliswa kwabantwana . 2005; 10: 324-336.
ITangney, JP, Stuewig, J., & Mashek, DJ (2007). Iimvakalelo zokuziphatha kunye nokuziphatha ngokuziphatha. Ukuhlaziywa koNyaka kwe-Psychology , 58 , 345-372.