Kutheni ukugxininisa kuphela kwimpumelelo yabantwana kunokuba nemiphumo emibi
Umntwana wakho uyayiphendula njani xa umntu efuna ukumbuza into enokufuna enye, ukuba afunde indlela yokuba nomusa kwabanye okanye ukuba athole amabanga amahle? Ingaba umntwana wakho uya kuthetha ukuba ungumzali okhathalela izinto ezinjengefesane, uvelwano kunye nentlonelo kwabanye okanye umntu ofuna umntwana wabo ukuba alethe amabanga aphezulu asekhaya aze aphumelele kwimisebenzi yangaphandle ngaphandle kokuqwalasela abanye abantu?
Impendulo, ivela, ingaba yikhombisi ebalulekileyo yendlela umntwana wakho ahamba ngayo emva koko ebomini. Uphando lubonisa ukuba oko abantwana abacinga ukuba abazali babo bafuna ntoni banokudlala indima ebalulekileyo ekwakheni amathuba omntwana wempumelelo yexesha elizayo kunye nenhlalakahle. Xa abazali bexinzelela abantwana ukuba baphumelele esikolweni nakwimisebenzi, ingakumbi ukuba bagxininisa amabakala kwaye bafezekise izinto ezinjengezentlalontle nezakhono zentlalo, kunokuba nefuthe elibi kwimpilo yabantwana kunye nempumelelo kamva ebomini kunye nokwandisa umngcipheko woxinzelelo , ngokucetyiswa ngoNovemba ka-2016 ngabaphandi eYunivesithi yase-Arizona State. Ngamanye amazwi, ububele bubala.
Umgudu wokunyusa abantwana ukuba uzuze konke okunye
Ngenxa yokuba uxinzelelo lokuphumelela lukhulu kunanini nanamhlanje njengoko abantwana bejamelene nokunyuka komncintiswano kwimpumelelo yemfundo kunye nempumelelo, abaphandi bafuna ukufumana indlela abazali ababenokuyenza ngayo kwimpilo yengqondo yabantwana kunye nokusebenza kwezifundo.
Babuza aba-506 abathandathu abathandathu abavela kwiindawo eziphathekayo ukuba babeke izinto eziphezulu ezintandathu ezintandathu abazikholelwa ngabazali babo.
Ezi zintathu zexabiso zenzelwe impumelelo, njengokufumana amabakala amahle kunye nokufumana umsebenzi ophumelelayo emva koko ebomini, kwaye iimpawu ezintathu zinobubele kunye nokuhlonipha kwabanye abantu.
Emva koko bafanisa le mpendulo malunga nendlela abantwana abaye benza ngayo esikolweni, bejonga zombini amabakala kunye nemibiko yokuziphatha.
Bafumanise ukuba iziphumo ezilungileyo ziphakathi kwezingane ezazikholelwa ukuba abazali babo baxabisa ububele ngokubanzi okanye ngaphezu kwempumelelo yabo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abantwana abambonayo abazali babo njengokuba begxininisa kwimpumelelo ngenxa yokuba nobubele kwabanye babenokukwazi ukufumana iziphumo ezimbi, ezifana nokuxinezeleka, ukuxhalaba, ukuzithoba , ukuziphatha , ukugxeka abazali, iingxaki zokufunda, kunye namabanga aphantsi.
Umyalezo ocacileyo: Xa abazali bephangazela ukuphumelela ngenxa yemfesane kunye nokuhlonipha, kubeka isigaba sokuxinezeleka, ukuxinezeleka, ukuxhalabisa, kunye namazinga ahluphekayo, anokubonakala kubanjwe kwibanga lesithandathu. "Nangona umzali omnye kuphela egxininisa ukusebenza kwezemfundo, amabakala ayengamahlwempu," kusho umlobi-mbumbulu uSuniya Luthar, Ph.D., uprofesa wesiseko weengqondo kwi-Yunivesithi yase-Arizona State kunye no-professor of emerta of Columbia University of Teachers College.
Iimpawu ezibonisa ukuba abantwana babona abazali babo ukuba badlala indima ebalulekileyo ekuphuhlisweni kwezingane, ngakumbi kule minyaka. Abantwana abangena esikolweni esiphakathi bahamba ngeenguqu ezininzi, becinga ukuba bangubani kunye nento abacinga ngayo ngehlabathi elibangqongileyo.
Ngeli xesha lokuguqulwa okukhulu, iingcamango zabazali malunga nokufezekiswa, imimiselo ebekwe ngendlela abaphatha ngayo abanye abantu, kunye nesitala sabo somzali sinokuchaphazela kakhulu uphuhliso lwabo.
Indlela Abazali Abafanele Bakhuthaze Abantwana ngayo
Nangona kungekho nto iphosakeleyo ngokukhuthaza abantwana ukuba bazame okusemandleni abo, ingxaki ibonakala ivela xa abazali bekhupha, bagxeka, kwaye banike abantwana umyalezo abafuna ukuwuthatha kuzo zonke iindleko okanye ukuba ukuzithemba kwabo kuvela kwimvume yangaphandle njengamabhaso okanye amaBakala aphezulu kunokuba babe nolwalamano oluhle kunye nolonwabo nabanye. Nazi ezinye iindlela abazali abanokukunceda abantwana bakwazi ukuphumelela ngenkxaso ngenkxaso enempilo nangenzuzo.
Zama ukuthetha rhoqo nezingane zakho malunga nokuba zifuna njani ukusebenza nzima. "Ukuba ungumzali osebenza nzima, unomsebenzi omhle, kunye nemali engenayo, akunakunceda ukunyusa umntwana wakho," kusho uDkt. Luthar. Izenzo zakho zibeka umzekelo ocacileyo, kwaye akufuneki ukuba ziphinda ziphinda ziphindaphinda umyalezo ezifunekayo ukuze zithole amabakala amahle; Kunoko, kuba khona ukuxhasa abantwana bakho xa bebetha ingxaki kwaye ubaxelele ukuba kufuneka baziqhenye ngeyona mzamo.
Musa ukugxininisa kwindlela abafuna ngayo ukuphumelela okanye ukuba yiyona nto ibhetele. Ngenxa yokuba ubunzima bezingane abajamelene nazo namhlanje ukuba baphumelele, kubaluleke kunanini ngaphambili kubazali bajolise kwiimpawu ezifanelekileyo kunye nenkxaso kunokuba bagxeke baze banikeze "i-buffer," kusho uDkt. Luthar. "Eminye ihlabathi unikezela abantwana umyalezo abawufuna ukukhawuleza wenze ngcono; akukho kuphuma kuloo myalezo. "
Ungaze ugxeke. Enye yeendlela eziqinisekileyo zomlilo zokuzondla i-kids self-esteem ukubonisa ukungaphumeleli kunye nokugxila kwizinto abazenzayo. Kunoko, bancede abantwana bakho bafikelele iindlela zokusombulula iingxaki, kwaye ubazise ukuba uyaziqhenya ngezenzo zabo. Hlalani nihle kwaye nibancede babone izisombululo kunokuba bahambe kakubi kwaye badibanise iingxaki.
Banike umyalezo othi ububele bubabala. Njengoko oluphando lubonisa ngokucacileyo, iimpembelelo zokuphumelela zonke iindleko zibuyela emva. Xoxa nabantwana bakho malunga nokubaluleka kwezinto ezifana nokuthembeka, ukubonisa abanye ukuhlonela, nokubonisa imikhwa emihle , kwaye kutheni ukungabi namfesane okanye ukubuyisela abanye okanye ukuzingca okanye ukuphazamisa kungalimaza ubudlelwane, kwaye ukhumbuze ukuba abahlobo kunye nosapho banjalo, ukuba ibaluleke ngakumbi kunokuba, impumelelo kunye namabhaso.
Khangela izenzo zakho kunye namazwi akho. Ukuba uxelela umntwana wakho ukuba uya kuvuya xa yena ezama izinto ezilungileyo kodwa umgxeka xa engaphumeleli okanye engqumbo xa engekho nto engcono kwizinto ezithile, khumbula ukuba izenzo ezinokuthi zithethe ngokugqithiseleyo kunamazwi, ngakumbi xa kuziwa kwimibono yabantwana.
Okukwintsusa
Khumbula ukuba ukukhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba abe yinto engcono kakhulu, xa nje unika umntwana wakho ngenye indlela kwaye uyenze ngokumodareyitha. Zibuze ukuba umntwana wakho uza kuthini ukuphendula imibuzo yolu vavanyo malunga neempawu zakho. Ukuba impendulo kukuba baya kuthi baxabisa amabakala amahle kunye nempumelelo ngaphezu kwayo yonke into, thatha isinyathelo emva kwaye wenze utshintsho kwizenzo zakho namagama akho.
Kanye nje ngokuba uxinzelelo oluthile luncedo (kwaye lunokunceda abantwana benza kakuhle kuvavanyo, umzekelo). Oku kuninzi kunokukhubazeka, kusho uDkt. Luthar. Ukuxelela abantwana ukuba kuphela ukubala okubalulekileyo "kuninzi into enhle, ngemiphumo eyoyikisayo," kusho uDkt. Luthar.
Ngelixa iziphumo zibonise imiphumo eyingozi yokhuseleko lomzali, kubalulekile ukuphawula ukukhawulelwa kwinqanaba le-cross-sectional study. Ngaphandle kophando olongezelelweyo, kuya kuba nzima ukwenza izigqibo.