Izicwangciso ezifanelekileyo zokubancedisa ukujamelana neemvakalelo zabo.
Kubuphi ubudala, ukukhala kuyisimo esiqhelekileyo sokugonywa yimvakalelo enamandla, njengomsindo, ukwesaba, uxinzelelo okanye kwonwaba. Abanye abantwana, ke, bakhala ngaphezu kwamanye.
Abantwana abanjalo banokuqhayisa ngokuphindaphindiweyo, banokuvakalelwa ngokukhawuleza, kwaye banokuvuya xa beqhathaniswa neontanga zabo. Nangona ngokuqinisekileyo akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngomntwana okhutheleyo, kunokukwenza ubomi bunzima kunzima kubo.
Musa ukudibanisa iimvakalelo zokungathathi
Ngamanye amaxesha abazali banamahloni ngenxa yeengxaki ezingabantwana. Ubawo unokubambezela ukubukela unyana wakhe emva kokulahlekelwa ngumdlalo webhola okanye umama angasusa intombi yakhe ebudeni beklasi yokudanisa ekuqaleni kwezinyembezi.
Kodwa ukukhala akuyona into embi. Kwaye kulungile ukuba abantwana babe nemizwa enzulu.
Ukuvakalelwa ngumzimba akuyenzi umntwana obuthakathaka. Kubalulekile, nangona kunjalo, ukuba abantwana bafunde ukuqonda nokuqonda iimvakalelo zabo. Enyanisweni, ukuqonda ngokomoya kunokunceda abantwana baqine ngokwengqondo- nangona bavakalelwa ngaloo mvakalelo.
Gwema ukubiza umntwana wakho i-wimp okanye ukucinga ukuba uvakalelwa nguye. Wonke umntu unemimoya eyahlukileyo kwaye umntwana wakho unokuzalwa enokuvakalelwa kakhudlwana kunokuba uyasetyenziswa.
Fundisa Umntwana Wakho Ngeemvakalelo
Kubalulekile ukuba umntwana wakho aqonde iimvakalelo zakhe. Qala ukumfundisa malunga neemvakalelo zakhe ngokuzibiza ngamagama.
Yithi, "Uyabona ubuhlungu ngoku," okanye "Ndiyakwazi ukutshitshisa." Yithi igama lakho lemizwi ngokuthi, "Ndiyadabukisayo ukuba asikwazi ukutyelela uMgogo namhlanje," okanye "Ndithukuthele kukuba abo Amakhwenkwe ayeyintliziyo namhlanje. "
Unokubamba iingxoxo malunga neemvakalelo ngokuthetha ngabalinganiswa kwiincwadi okanye kwimiboniso yeTV.
Njalo kanye ngexeshana kwaye ubuze imibuzo enje, "Ucinga ukuba lo mlingiswa uvakalelwa njani?" Ngokuzikhangela, ukukwazi komntwana wakho ukubhala iimvakalelo zakhe kuya kuphucula.
Cacisa Ukwahlukana Phakathi Kokuvakalelwa kunye Nezinto Zokuzinceda
Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuba abantwana bafunde indlela yokuveza iimvakalelo zabo ngendlela efanelekileyo yoluntu. Ukumemeza ngokukhawuleza phakathi kwevenkile yokutya okanye ukuthukuthela esikolweni akulungile.
Tshela umntwana wakho ukuba unako uvakalelo olufunayo-kwaye kulungile ukuziva unomsindo okanye ukwesaba.
Kodwa, cacisa ukuba unokhetho kwindlela ephendula ngayo loo mvakalelo engenakukhathazeka . Ngoko nangona uvakalelwa ngumsindo, akulungele ukubetha . Okanye ngenxa yokuba uziva edabukile, akuthethi ukuba uya kuhamba ecaleni emzimbeni xa ephazamisa abanye abantu.
Ukulungisa indlela aziphatha ngayo kodwa kungekhona iimvakalelo zakhe. Yithi, "Uza kuphuma ixesha ngenxa yokuba utshitshise umntakwenu," okanye "Ulahlekelwa le nto yokudlala kuyo yonke imihla ngenxa yokuba ukhala kwaye ibuhlungu iindlebe zam."
Qinisekisa iimvakalelo zabantwana bakho
Ngamanye amaxesha abazali bayakuyekezela imizwa yengane. Kodwa oko kuthumela umyalezo ongafanelekanga. Ukuthi, "Yeka ukuthukuthela. Akuyona into enkulu "iya kufundisa umntwana wakho ukuba iimvakalelo zakhe ziphosakele.
Kodwa iimvakalelo zilungile-nokuba ucinga ukuba zibonakala zingekho.
Enoba ucinga ukuba uyadabuka, udabukile, udidekile, uhlazekile okanye udidekile, yibeke igama. Emva koko, bonisa ukuba uyayiqonda indlela avakalelwa ngayo kwaye anike uvelwano.
Ngako-ke ngelixa besithi, "Ndiyazi ukuba uyadala asiya epakini namhlanje," ubonisa ukuba uyaziqonda ukuba unomsindo, ingahle ifikeleleke njengobunzima.
Yithi, "Ndiyazi ukuba uphapheme asiya epaki namhlanje. Ndiyadumala xa ndingenako ukwenza izinto endifuna ukuzenza. "Leyo nxalenye eyongezelelweyo ibomeleza kumntwana wakho ukuba wonke umntu uvakalelwe ngaloo mvakalelo (ngamaninzi ukuba ayenjalo kaninzi okanye enzima njengoko evakalelwa ngayo).
Ngexesha elifanayo, banceda abantwana baqonde ukuba iimvakalelo zingaphumelela kwaye indlela umntwana aziva ngayo ngoku ayiyi kuhlala ngonaphakade-okanye nokuba yimizuzu embalwa. Ukuqonda ukuba iimvakalelo zabo, kunye neenyembezi, ziza kwaye zihamba zingancedisa umntwana ukuba ahlale ehlaziyekile phakathi kwexesha lomzwelo.
Fundisa Umgangatho Wemfundo Yomntwana Wakho
Kungenxa yokuba umntwana wakho uvakalelwa kakhulu, akathethi ukuba ufuna ukuvumela iimvakalelo zakhe zilawule. Xa edidekile unokufunda ukuzihlaziya .
Xa evuka ephazamisayo, unokufunda ukuzihlaziya. Yaye uyakwazi ukufumana iindlela zokujamelana neemeko ezingakhawulezileyo ngendlela ephilileyo. Nazi ezinye izakhono ezincedo ukufundisa umntwana wakho ukuze afunde ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe:
- Zenza ukuphefumula. Fundisa umntwana wakho indlela yokuphefumula ngokukhawuleza nangokuphumla ngeempumlo aze aphume emlonyeni wakhe. Phinda uphinde ambalwa amaxesha, ade aqonde kwiinyembezi zakhe.
- Bala ukuzola . Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba aziphazamise iingcamango eziphazamisayo ngokubala. Ukubala iileyile, ukubala ukuya kwi-10, okanye ukubala ukusuka kwi-100 yinto embalwa imisebenzi yengqondo enganciphisa uxinzelelo.
- Thatha ikhefu . Vumela umntwana wakho ukuba azenzele ixesha elifutshane okanye abuze utitshala ukuba unokufumana iminithi ukuziqokelela, nokuba uya kusela isiselo okanye amanzi okanye angene kwelinye igumbi ngomzuzu. Yenza kucace kumntwana wakho ukuba angazibeka ngexesha lokuphuma ngaphambi kokuba athunyelwe apho ngenxa yokuziphatha kakubi. Emva koko, uya kuba nolawulo lokuthatha isigqibo xa ulungele ukuphuma.
- Yenza itekisi yokulahla . Gcwalisa ibhokisi ngezinto ezikunceda umntwana wakho ezolile (okanye ujonge). Iincwadi zokubala kunye neekrayoni, utyando oluvumba kakuhle, imifanekiso enomntwana wakho, okanye umculo ocolileyo zizinto ezimbalwa ezinokuthi zibandakanye iingqondo zakhe kwaye zenze ukuba aziphathe iimvakalelo zakhe.
- Ingxaki--sombulula nomntwana wakho. Ukuba imizwa yengane yakho ibangela iingxaki kuye-njengokuba akukho mntu ufuna ukudlala kunye naye ngenxa yokuba ukhalela lonke ixesha okanye akakwazi ukuthatha inxaxheba kwimfundo engokwenyama ngoba uyakhala xa elahlekelwa-sebenzisana kunye nokujongana nengxaki. Cela igalelo lakhe kwiziphi izicwangciso ezinokumnceda. Unakho ukuphuhlisa izicwangciso zendalo kunye nenkxaso yakho.
- Ukuchonga izikhuthazo zemizwelo. Thetha nomntwanakho ngezinto azithandayo ukuzenza xa evuya, edlala ngaphandle, efunda incwadi yentlokoma, okanye ecula iingoma zakhe ezizithandayo. Bhala ezo zinto phantsi kwaye umxelele ezo zizinto ezivuselelayo. Xa evakalelwa kakubi, mkhuthaze ukuba enze enye yezinto ezikhuthaza ukunyamekela iimvakalelo zakhe.
Gwema ukuvuselela ukuphuphuma kwemizwelo
Indlela ophendula ngayo kwimvakalelo yomntwana yenza ukubahluko omkhulu. Ngamanye amaxesha abazali bayakhuthaza abantwana ukuba bavelele.
Ukuba usebenza ekuncediseni umntwana wakho ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe ezingcono, kukulungele ukuphepha oku kulandelayo:
- Ukuvuza umntanakho ukuthoba . Ukuba unikela umntwana wakho unyango olukhethekileyo rhoqo xa edibana kunye naye, unokufunda ukuba ukukhala ngezinyembezi kuyindlela efanelekileyo yokufumana into ayifunayo.
- Ukutshala umntwana wakho ngqalelo . Nangona kubalulekile ukunikezela induduzo, qiniseka ukuba awuyi kuluhlula. Awufuni ukuba umntwana wakho afunde ukuba ukucaphuka yindlela efanelekileyo yokutsala ingqalelo yakho.
- Ukuhlalisa umntwana wakho rhoqo . Kunceda ukunikezela ukuqinisekiswa, kodwa kubalulekile ukufundisa umntwana wakho izakhono azakuzifuna ukuzincama ukuze asebenze iimvakalelo zakhe xa ungekho ukuba ungene kwaye uncede.
- Ukuxelela umntwana wakho ukuba ayeke ukukhala . Ukuxelela umntwana wakho ukuba ayeke ukukhala kungamenza athukuthele. Ukuba uyakubona usebenza phezu kweenyembezi zakhe, uya kucinga ukuba wenza into engalunganga-kwaye oko akuyi kwenza kube lula ukuyeka ukukhala.
- Ukumemezela ukuba umntwana wakho uyabakhathalela . Ukuba uyalumkisa wonke utitshala, umqeqeshi, okanye umzali womhlobo ukuba umntwana wakho uyabakhathalela , usenokuthumela umyalezo ongenakukwazi ukuwuphatha ngayo iimvakalelo zakhe. Gcina ulungile ngokuthetha izinto ezinje, "Umntwana wam uziva kakhulu."
Pushisa Umntwana Wakho, Kodwa Akunakuninzi
Unokwenza isigqibo sokuba kukho amaxesha apho kunengqiqo ukukhusela umntwana wakho kwiimeko eziphazamisayo. Ukuba isikolo sibukela i-movie ebuhlungu, unokwenza isigqibo sokuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba aphume, ukuba uyazi ukuba uya kuzama ukuzibamba ndawonye emva kokuba ifilimu iphelile.
Kodwa, awufuni ukuxolela umntwana wakho kwiingxaki ezinzima okanye zonke iinjongo zobomi. Umntwana wakho ufuna iimfuno zokufunda indlela yokusingatha iimvakalelo zakhe ngendlela evumelekileyo kuluntu. Kwaye ngenxa yokuba uvakalelwa ngokunyanisekileyo akuthethi ukuba kufuneka alahlekelwe ebomini.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantwana abanomvakalelo bafumana yonke imvakalelo ngendlela enkulu. Ngoko oko kuthetha ukuba umntwana wakho unokufumana iimvakalelo ezintle, njengolonwabo nolonwabo, ngokubanzi ngokubanzi. Kwaye unqwenela ukukrabalaza amandla akhe okuziva zonke ezo zivakalelo ezinkulu.
Nini Ukufuna Uncedo Lobugcisa
Kwaye nabantwana abangaqhelekanga ngokwemvakalelo banokudlula kwixesha apho kubonakala ngathi iinyembezi ziyaqhubeka. Nangona kungenakwenzeka ukuba kukho isizathu sokuxhalabisa, kubalulekile ukuba uhlolisise kunye nodokotela wakho wezilwanyana (ngakumbi ukuba umntwana wakho usemncinci kwaye unenkathazo yokuthetha) ukuqinisekisa ukuba ayikho intsholongwane yendlebe engaziwayo okanye ingxaki yolwimi engabonakaliyo.
Xa ingxaki yonyango ikhutshwe ngaphandle, umzali angathatha amanyathelo okunceda umntwana wakhe afunde indlela yokulawula iimvakalelo zabo ngexesha eliphambili, ngoko akuyi kuba ngumcimbi njengoko bakhula.
Ukuba umntwana wakho uhlala ephazamiseka, mhlawumbi akukho nto ibangela ukuba akhathazeke. Kodwa, ukuba ngokukhawuleza ubonakala enenkathazo enkulu yokulawula iimvakalelo zakhe, khuluma nomntwana wakhe.
Kufuneka ufune uncedo lwezakhono kumntwana wakho ukuba iimvakalelo zakhe zibangela iingxaki ebomini bakhe bemihla ngemihla. Ukuba ukhala kakhulu ngelilanga lokufunda ukuba akakwazi ukugxininisa eklasini okanye ukuba unzima ukugcina ubungane ngenxa yokuba akanako ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe, unokufuna inkxaso eyongezelelweyo.
> Imithombo
> Iziko leMfundo yabazali: Ukuqonda imimiselo: Ukuvakalelwa komzwelo.
> Wyman PA, Cross W, Brown CH, Yu Q, Tu X, Eberly S. Ukungenelela ukuqinisa Ukuzimelela ngokomzwelo kwabantwana abaneengxaki zempilo yengqondo ephakamileyo: Iimpembelelo ezichaphazelekayo kwiZikolo zokuziphatha. I-Journal ye-Child Child Psychology . 2010; 38 (5): 707-720.