4 Uninzi lweengxaki zeentsapho ezixhamliweyo (kunye neZisombululo zabo)

Ukulungelelanisa ubomi bendlu yomtshato kunokuba ngumngeni

Iintsapho ezixubileyo ziya kunyuka. Ngokwe-2013 yophando olwenziwa yi-Pew Research Centre, iipesenti ezingama-40 zemitshato emitsha ibandakanya ubuncinane omnye umntu owayeshadile ngaphambili. Kwaye i-20 ekhulwini yemitshato ibandakanya abantu ababini abatshatileyo ngaphambili.

Uninzi lwawo mitshato lubandakanya abantwana abathatyathwa kwihlabathi "lamanyathelo" -omama, oomama, abazalwana babo, abatata-ntombazana, ootata-ntombi. Ukuba ngumtshato wesibini awuyi kuhlala ihamba ngokukhawuleza njengoko kubonakala kwiBrady Bunch. Ukuzisa iintsapho ezimbini phantsi kophahla olulodwa kunokuba nzima.

Ungalindele ukuba iintsapho zakho zidibanise ndawonye ngobusuku bonke. Ngokutsho kwe-American Academy of Child kunye ne-Adolescent Psychiatry, kunokuthatha iminyaka enye ukuya kweyesibini kwiintsapho ezidibeneyo ukulungelelanisa neenguqulelo. Kodwa abazali abaqhubayo ekunciphiseni nasekujonganeni neengxaki ezinokubangela ukuba ulungiso lube lula.

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Sibling Ulwalamano

Iyiphi inkinga? Kunzima ngokwaneleyo ukuba umntwana akwazi ukukhuphisana nabantakwabo kwintsapho yenyukliya. Xa bebantakwabo abathandana nabo abangenakukhululeka ngokupheleleyo, ingxaki inokuphakamisa. Xa umntwana engazange abe nako ukwabelana nomzali ngexesha elide, olo thuba lokulungiswa lungase lube lude.

Indlela yokuyilombulula: Okokuqala, thetha nomlingane wakho, ngoko uhlala kwiphepha elifanayo malunga nobudlelwane bomntakwethu . Akukho nto iya kusebenza xa omnye wenu ecinga ukuba umntwana womnye umntu obangela umonakalo, kwaye akukho zinto ezintle ziza kwenzeka xa unamabala ahlukeneyo.

Iziphumo kunye nemivuzo kufuneka ibe yinto efanayo kubo bonke abantwana, kungakhathaliseki ukuba "basebenze njani" ngaphambi kokuba nitshatile.

Ngokulandelayo, khumbula ukuba ngandlela-thile, abantwana bakho banokuba ngabaziwayo ngaphandle kowabo. Ngoko ungalindeli ukuba wonke umntu abe "yintsapho evuyokileyo" ekuqaleni. Kuya kuthatha ixesha ukufikelela kwindawo leyo.

Ukuba kwakukho utshintsho kwi-oda lokuzalwa-oko kukuthi, umntwana omnye owayesakuba ngumdala kunamhlanje unamathele phakathi-qaphela ukucaphuka okungabangela. Umntwana osekudala wayevakalelwa kukuba unamandla amancinane athatyathwe kuye, ngelixa umntwana owayengumntwana wendlu angase abe nomuzwa wokuthi ulahlekelwe ingqalelo.

Gwema ukubeka iilebula kubantwana bakho kunye. Namalebhile athile anjengokuthi, "Ungumculi kwintsapho yethu," kwaye "Ungumdlali wethu weenkwenkwezi," kunokunyusa uxinzelelo phakathi kwamalungu entsapho. Bonisa ukuba wonke umntu unamakhono amaninzi kunye neetalente kwaye unempilo yokuqhubeka uhlola indawo emitsha yenzalo.

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Wonke umntu unyanzelekile

Iyiphi inkinga? Xa inani labantwana landa, njengokuba lihlala lihlala kwiintsapho ezidibeneyo, omnye okanye bonke abantwana banokuvakalelwa ngathi abafumani ingqalelo abayisebenzisayo.

Ukongezelela, ngezinye iintsapho ezidibeneyo zinezinto ezincinci zezibonelelo zemali kwimisebenzi yomntwana ngamnye yenkxaso-mpahla okanye ukuphuma kweentsapho ngenxa yobukhulu bentsapho okanye inkxaso yenkxaso yemali eya kwintsapho engaphambili.

Indlela yokuSombulula: Njengokuba kuneminye imiba emininzi, le ngxaki ingasombululwa-ngokusemandleni akhe, nangona kunjalo-ngokusebenza kunye njengentsapho. Yenza ishedyuli esetyenziswe ngumntu ngamnye, kunye nomntwana ngamnye ukhetha umsebenzi kwisabelomali ethile kulo nyaka.

Ukongeza, bonke abantu abadala kufuneka bahambe kwimisebenzi yomntwana ngamnye, njengemidlalo yezemidlalo, ukudlala okanye iikonktshi, ngoko akunakuvakalelwa ukuba nayiphi na umntwana uthanda omnye.

Nika nomntwana ngamnye ingqalelo. Ingaba udlala umdlalo ngokukhawuleza imizuzu eyi-10 ngemini okanye ucwangcise ukuphuma kwenyanga, ukunika abantwana bezilwanyana kunye nabantwana abathandekayo banokuyomeleza ingxaki yakho.

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Umyalelo wabazali bomzali unokuba ngumngeni

Iyiphi inkinga? Nangona xa isithandwa somzali we-biological okanye intombi yayingumntu onokuzonwabisa naye, ngoku unamandla-kwaye oko kunokubangela iingxaki ezimbalwa ekhaya.

Indlela yokuyilombulula: Intlanganiso yentsapho ikulungele, kodwa qala uhlale phantsi kunye nomlingane wakho ukuze uqonde imithetho yakho yasekhaya . Thatha amanqaku uze ubhale imithetho yakho kunye nemiphumo yokuphula loo mithetho.

Ukuba bobabili unabantwana sele sele benethuba elihle lokuba nemithetho eyahlukileyo. Ngoko kubalulekile ukuza kunye ukudala imithetho efanayo kumntu wonke ukuze ungahlali njengeentsapho ezimbini ezihlukeneyo phantsi kophahla olulodwa.

Ukuchonga ukuziphatha okuya kubangela ukuqeqeshwa, indlela oya kuqeqesha ngayo , kwaye ukuba kukho naziphi na iimeko ezikhethekileyo malunga naloo myalelo. Kunyanzelekile ukuba bobabini kunikela phambili phambi kweengxaki zoluleko .

Ngamanye amaxesha, umzali omnye ufuna ukuba "ngumnandi." Ngamanye amaxesha, umzali omnye uthemba ukuba umzali omtsha unokubeka phantsi umthetho kwaye ufumane izinto ngokukhawuleza.

Kodwa ukuza kunye njengentsapho edibeneyo kuthetha ukuba bobabini abazali kufuneka baveze phambili. Khumbula, abantwana bafunda ngokukhawuleza ukuba ngubani "umgomo olula" xa kuziwa ekufumaneni indlela yabo, kwaye unokukhula ukuze abe ngumphathi wokuxhaphaza ukuphonsa umntu omdala ngokumelene nomnye.

Emva koko, bizela wonke umntu etafileni. Thatha loo manqaku oye wawachitha, uze uhambe nawo njengentsapho.

Abantwana bakho banokuba neengcamango ezifuna ukufaka isandla, kwaye ukuba konke okubhalwe phantsi kuthetha ukuba wonke umntu uyazi kakuhle ukuba imigaqo yendlu yintoni, kunye nemiphumo yokuphula loo mithetho.

Cacisa kubantwana ukuba, kwindlu yakho, abadala abadala banokunyanzelisa ukuhlawuliswa kunoma yimuphi wabantwana, kwaye kulindeleke ukuba abantwana baya kuthobela umzali-ntombazana njengoko babeza kwenza nawuphi na igunya.

Ngaloo nto yathethileyo, kubalulekile ukuba abahambahambayo bajolise ngakumbi ekwakheni isibopho kunokuba baqeqesha abantwana ekuqaleni. Ngaphandle kobudlelwane obuhle, uqeqesho aluyi kusebenza. Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi kubantwana abaselula.

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Uziva Ufana Nemibutho Eyabini Ehlukileyo

Iyintoni imbambano? Wena kunye neqabane lakho elitsha ufuna ukuzivakalelwa njengeyunithi enye enokuzonwabisa, ukwabelana kunye nokuthembela komnye nomnye. Iingane azihlali zikhululekile kunye, nangona kunjalo, kunye nabazali babo abatsha. Kuvakalelwa ngathi usabamba njengeentsapho ezimbini ezenzeka nje ukuba zihlale kwindlu enye.

Indlela yokuSombulula ngayo: Awukwazi ukudala ubhondi ngobusuku. Kuya kuthatha ixesha ukufumana imbali ebelwana ngayo, ufumane ubudlelwane obutsha kwaye uvumelanise nokuqhelekileyo okuqhelekileyo.

Qalisa inkqubo ngokukhawuleza ngokuqala izithethe ezintsha njengentsapho. Basenokufunda incwadi ndawonye ubusuku bonke ebhedeni elikhulu ekamelweni lokulala okanye ukuthatha uhambo lokuya kwindawo yokudlala yasekuhlaleni ngeSonto ekuseni ngaphambi kokutya kwasekuseni.

Ungakwazi ukuguqula ukuguquka kokuya kwindlu ngendlu, inkqubo enokuthi iyenzeka rhoqo xa wena okanye lakho iqabane ligcinwe. Umzekelo, unokumisa ice cream rhoqo xa uthabatha abantwana ukusuka kwindlu yomnye umzali. Le nkcubeko encinane ibonisa ukuba abantwana lixesha lokunyuka kwiindlela eziqhelekileyo, kodwa ngendlela ejabulisayo.

Kwakhona kubalulekile ukunika abantwana ixesha lokulila. Nangona umtshato omtsha ungonwabile, uphinde ubonakalise ukuphela kweentshukumo zeentsapho zangaphambili. Yaye oko kunokuba nzima kubafundi abasenokuba nzima ukujongana nelokuba abazali babo bezinto eziphilayo abasekho kunye okanye ukuba ixesha labo lokuba ngumntwana kuphela onemilenze yokuqwalasela sele iphelile.

Nangona kukho iingxaki, intsapho edibeneyo isenjalo-intsapho. Nangona kunokubakho ubuhlungu obukhulayo, ukuhlukana kunye nezihlandlo ezimbalwa zokuqeqesha, wonke umntu ekugqibeleni uya kutshintshela kwimeko entsha. Iingcamango ziya kwenziwa, ngabantwana nangabantu abadala, kodwa wonke umntu uya kufunda kuloo mpazamo. Ekugqibeleni, indlu iya kuba yinto encinci nje ngeentlobo zeentsapho kwaye zifana neyunithi enye eqinile.

> Imithombo:

> I-American Academy ye-Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: Iingxaki zomtshato wesibini.

> U-Emmott EH, u-Mace R. Utyalo-mali oluthatyathwa ngabazali bootata banokunciphisa iziphumo kwiziphumo zemfundo kodwa aluphuculanga ubunzima bokuziphatha. Ukuguquka kwezinto kunye nokuziphatha kwabantu . 2014; 35 (5): 438-444.

> I-Goldscheider F. I- International Encyclopedia ye-Social & Behavioral Sciences . Isibini. Amsterdam, Netherlands: I-Elsevier Science; 2015.

> HealthyChildren.org: Ukuba ngumntwana wesibini odibeneyo.

> UKumkani V, uTorsen ML, u-Amato PR. Izinto ezinxulumene nobuhlobo obuhle phakathi kootata kunye nabantwana abaselula. Uphando lwezeNtlalo . 2014; 47: 16-29.