Indlela Abazali Abangasebenzisana Ngayo Ekufundiseni
Ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho okanye umlingane awuvumelani neendlela zokuziphatha, awuyedwa. Amaqabane avela kwimvelaphi eyahlukeneyo kwaye anemimoya eyahlukileyo. Omnye unokunyamezela xa enye ingqongqo. Ngoxa le ntlukwano ingancedisa ngamanye amaxesha, iyakwazi ukukhokelela ekuxabaneni. Yintoni omele uyenze xa ungavumelani neendlela zokuziphatha njengabazali?
Xa Abazali bengavumi
Uninzi lwezibini zihluke ngezinye izihlandlo xa ziza kuqeqesho. Ngokomzekelo, abazali bavumi ukungavumelani ngexesha lokungenelela kunye nokuziphatha. Omnye umzali unokukholelwa ukuba umntwana akafanele anike izikhumbuzo ukuba akenzi imisebenzi yakhe ngexesha. Kulo mzekelo, loo mzali angasichazela ukuba umane unqande isibonelelo somntwana ukuba umntwana uyalibale. Umnye umzali, nangona kunjalo, unokukholelwa ukuba abantwana kufuneka banikwe amathuba amaninzi. Into eyenzeka kaninzi kukuba ingxaki yokuziphatha (into eyenziwa ngumntwana okanye engazange yenze) iqhutywe ngaphandle yaye ingxaki entsha ivela: yintsebenziswano yomtshato okanye intsebenziswano.
Kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngeengxaki xa zivela okanye zingakhokelela kwiingxaki ezinkulu kwixesha elizayo. Makhe sibone indlela kwaye kutheni ukungavumelani kwabazali malunga nokuqeqesha kwenzeka, kunye nento ongayenza ukuze ube liqela elihlangeneyo kubantwana bakho.
Iziphumo ezingavumelaniyo
Ukungavumelani ngokuphathelele umzali kunokukhokelela lula kwiingxaki zomtshato.
Ngamanye amaxesha omnye umzali uhlala ecaleni kunye nabantwana kwaye unokuba "us" ngokumelene nomnye umzali. Emva koko, endaweni yokusebenza kunye njengeqela, abazali baqala ukusebenzisana.
Kwakunempilo kubantwana xa abazali behlala bengavumelani ngokuziphatha. Ukuba uthanda ukunyamezela kubantwana, kuya kubeka ukuba ube "ngumntu omubi" kwaye abantwana bakho baya kufunda ngokukhawuleza ukuba babuze omnye umzali ngezinto.
Oku kungakhokelela kwiingxaki zonxibelelwano kungekhona kuphela phakathi koqabane kodwa phakathi kweqabane kunye nabantwana. Kodwa iyancipha ngakumbi kunoko. Imiphumo engahambelaniyo ingabangela ukuba abantwana bazive bexhala ngenxa yokuba abaqinisekanga ukuba balindele ntoni.
Xa uthetha nomlingane wakho, khumbula ukuba akusiyo nje isihloko esithile esiyingxaki. Emva kwesihloko sinothando lwabazali kubantwana babo. Xa umzali omnye evakalelwa ngamandla ukuba enye indlela ibhetele kunomnye wokuqeqesha umntwana, yonke le mvakalelo ifika entloko. Ukuhlaselwa kwesimboli somzali omnye kunokuphelisa ukuziva ukuhlaselwa uthando lwakhe kubantwana babo.
Ukusombulula ukungafani kwakho
Kucacile ukuba ukungavumelani xa kuziwa kwizicwangciso zokuziphatha kubafundi akuphiliswanga ngabazali okanye kubantwana. Kodwa unokwenza ntoni ukuba uphakathi kweengxabano? Makhe sibone ezinye iindlela ezicacileyo ongayithatha ukuze uqeqeshe njengento ebumbeneyo. Gcina ukhumbule ukuba le yinkqubo yokuphila xa unabantwana. Imiba yokulungiswa yatshintsha ngobudala, kwaye abazali bayatshintsha ngokunjalo ngenxa yamava abo endleleni. Nantsi into ongayenza ukuqeqesha njengeqela.
Yamkela ukungafani kwakho
Kubalulekile ukwamkela ukuba wena kunye nomlingane wakho akavumelani nemibandela yabazali ngexesha elinye (ngaphandle kokuba umzali omnye engabonakali ngombono wakhe, okufuneka kulandelwe ngokunjalo).
Kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokukhulisa umntwana. Xa wena kunye neqabane lakho ninemibono eyahlukileyo malunga nezinto ezintle kubantwana benu, kubalulekile ukuba uhloniphe umbono weqabane lakho. Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uvumelane. Kufuneka ukhululeke ngokuvuma ukungavumelani. Ukuba unzima nale nto, khumbula ukuba ukungafani kwezixhobo zoqeqesho kubonakalisa umnqweno kwiindawo zakho zombini ukuba ube ngabazali abahle kakhulu. Le yindawo yokuqala yokuqala!
Unokuqala ngokuqwalasela iindidi ezine zohlobo lomzali kwaye ucinge malunga nokuba ngubani ochaze indlela yakho. Emva koko, misela ukuba okanye wakho umlingane usebenzisa indlela efanayo okanye eyahlukileyo.
Ukuqonda indlela onokujamelana ngayo neengxaki ezifanayo ngombono ohlukileyo kunokuba luncedo.
Kwakhona kungenzeka ukuba unokwakheka kweempawu ezahlukeneyo zabazali . Mhlawumbi unexinzelelo oluphezulu malunga nokuziphatha kunye kwaye unobulunga obukhulu kunomnye. Jonga ukuba indlela nganye yesimo esifanelekileyo ifaneleke ngayo ngengqondo yomntwana ngamnye njengolu ngenye yezinto ezintlanu ezichaphazela ukucwangciswa kobuchule .
Fumana uMgangatho ofanayo
Emva kokuba uqaphele ukungafani kwakho, khangela enye indawo efanayo. Kungenzeka ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho ninenjongo ezifanayo kubantwana benu. Unokuba utyalo-mali bobabili ekuqinisekiseni ukuba abantwana bakho bakhule babe ngabantu abadala. Unemibono eyahlukileyo malunga nokuba uzimele kangakanani ufanele ulindele ukuba abantwana bafumane.
Hlala phantsi ndawonye ukuze usebenze isicwangciso ongavumelana ngazo ukuba ulandele. Akufuneki ukuba uvumelane ngazo zonke iinkalo, kodwa kufuneka uvumele ukuba ulandele isicwangciso phambi kwezingane. Kungenzeka ukuba nonke nidinga ukwenza okuncinci.
Umzekelo, mhlawumbi unako ukuvuma ukuba uneminyaka eyi-10 ubudala uya kufumana isikhumbuzo ngasinye ebusuku ukwenza imisebenzi yakhe. Ukuba akayifumani, akayi kuzuza imali yakhe. Oku kungaba ngumphumo ophumelelayo oya kumkhuthaza ukuba enze imisebenzi yakhe ngobusuku obulandelayo.
Ukuseka iMithetho yeMakhaya
Sebenza njengeqela ukuseka imithetho yasekhaya . Yenza uluhlu olulula lwemithetho ebalulekileyo kubo bobabini. Ngokuqhelekileyo, imigaqo eyi-10 yanele. Qinisekisa ukuba uquka imithetho jikelele malunga nenhlonipho, imisebenzi kunye nomsebenzi wesikolo.
Emva koko, khankanya uluhlu lwemiphumo enokuthi ungavumelanisa ngayo xa imithetho iphulwe. Kufuneka kube nemiphumo eyahlukileyo kumntwana ngamnye. Xoxa ngeembuyekezo eziza kubakho abantwana bakho xa belandela imithetho, njengokufumana isibonelelo sokwenza imisebenzi.
Yenza i-United Front
Vumelanise ukunikela phambi kokubambisana kubantwana. Yabelana ngemithetho kunye nezingane kwaye uyavuma ukuba uya kulandela ngokufanayo ngemiphumo. Ukhuseleko olunikeza ubumbano obumanyeneyo luya kunika abantwana bakho kubaluleke ngakumbi kunokuba luphi isicwangciso soqeqesho oza kusebenzisa.
Kubalulekile kumzekelo wokuziphatha ngokufanelekileyo phambi kwezingane zakho. Ukuba abantwana bakho bakubona ulwa, banako ukulungisa ingxabano ngendlela efanayo. Kunoko, gcina ukungavumelani kwakho xa wena kunye nomlingane wakho ungathetha ngasese.
Xa abantwana bakho becela omnye wenu ukuba enze into-xa kunokwenzeka-unganiki impendulo uze uxoxe nomlingane wakho kuqala. Ukuba unyana wakho ucela ukuya endlwini yomhlobo ngomso ebusuku, xelela ukuba kuya kufuneka uxoxe nomnye umzali kuqala. Oku kuya kuthumela umyalezo ukuba bobabini nisebenza kunye kunye nokuthetha kakuhle malunga nezigqibo zomzali.
Ukufikelela kwiNcedo
Nangona unenjongo efanelekileyo, ukusebenzisana kunye nokuqeqesha kakuhle abantwana bakho kunokuba nzima. Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba kunjalo, cinga ngezikhetho zakho. Maxa wambi amaqela omzali awanceda kakhulu. Akuqhelekanga ukuba iqabane liqonde into oyithethayo kuphela xa eva omnye umntu uthi into efanayo.
Iiklasi zabazali kunye neencwadi, ezinjengokuthi "Ukubeletha Ngothando Nengqondo" ngoFoster Cline noJim Fay, ingaba yindlela enhle yokujonga ubuzali bakho kunye. Le ndlela igxininisa ukusebenzisa imiphumo yemvelo xa abantwana bakho bekhohlakele. Abanye abazali bajonge phambili ukuba abantwana babo baphathwe kakubi ukuze bakwazi ukusebenzisa iindlela ezibandakanyekayo. Akunjalo kuphela iindlela ezifana nale nto ekukuhlanganisayo ekuqondeni ukuba ubabini ukhuthazwa uthando lwakho ngomntwana wakho, kodwa kubonakala ngathi uyasusa amanye amashishini ukuze ukhulume kwizinga eliphezulu.
Hlaziya kwakhona iSicwangciso sakho seveki
Beka eceleni iiveki nganye ukuthetha nomlingane wakho malunga neendlela zokubeletha. Ungesabi ukuzama izinto ezintsha kwaye wenze utshintsho kwisicwangciso njengoko kufuneka. Qinisekisa ukuba unikezele utshintsho kubantwana bakho ngaphambi kwexesha.
Njengoko abantwana bakho bekhula, iimfuno zabo ziya kutshintsha kwaye izicwangciso zakho zoqeqesho ziya kufuneka ziguqule kunye nabo. Ukuba isicwangciso soqeqesho esisodwa asisebenzi , sebenze njengeqela ukuphuhlisa isicwangciso esithile. Kukho iindlela ezininzi ezahlukahlukeneyo zokujongana neengxaki zokuziphatha kwaye kubalulekile ukuguquguquka ngendlela yakho.
Okukwintsusa
Ukubeleka akulula, kwaye ngokungafani kwabantu, kuya kumangalisa ukuba amaqabane awazange abe nempikiswano ekukhetheni iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokuqeqesha abantwana babo. Sekunjalo siyazi ukuba oku kungavumelani kungabangela ingxabano yomtshato kwaye kuthintela kakubi abantwana.
Thatha isikhashana ukujonga ezinye zezicwangciso ezingasentla, kwaye uqonde imbono yomnye. Khumbula ukuba awuvumelani ngaphandle kokungahloneli iqabane lakho. Ukwazi ukuba ubunye njengabazali ngenye yezipho ezingcono kakhulu ongabanika abantwana bakho, khangela iindlela ongazenza ngayo. Nonke unomgomo ofanayo, kwaye kukuthanda nokukhokela abantwana bakho kwizinto ezifanelekileyo kakhulu.
> Imithombo:
> Kliegman RM, Stanton B, St Geme JW, Schor NF. Ncwadana yeeNzululwazi . 20th. Philadelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2015.
> Regalado M, uLarsen K, Wissow L, et al. Izinto ezinxulumene nokulungiswa kwezileko kubazali beintsana nabantwana abaselula. Pediatric Academic . 2010; 10 (5): 353-359. i-doi: 10.1016 / j.acap.2010.07.00 6.
> Rodenas, F., Garces, E., Dura, A. et al. Imfundo noQeqesho lwabazali namhlanje, ukulungiswa kunye nokuLondolozwa koBantwana ngengomso. I-Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences . 2014; 116: 2248-2251. i-doi: 10.1016 / j.sbspro.2014.01.553.