Uluhlu loLuleko olujolise kwiimvakalelo
Uqeqesho lomzwelo ngenye yeentlobo ezinhlanu eziphambili zokuqeqesha ezisekelwe kwi-Psychological research researcher uJohn Gottman. Ngokutsho koPhando lukaGottman, xa abazali banikela abantwana izakhono abayidingayo ukujongana neemvakalelo, baya kuba nokuzithemba ngakumbi, benze ngcono esikolweni, babe nolwalamano oluphilileyo.
UGottman wachitha iminyaka efunda indlela abazali abangabanceda ngayo abantwana ukuba bafunde indlela yokuphatha kakuhle iimvakalelo zabo ezintle nezimbi.
Waqhekeza inkqubo ibe ngamanyathelo amahlanu ajolise ekufundiseni abantwana malunga neemvakalelo ukuze bafunde indlela yokwenza ukhetho olungcono.
1. Qaphela iiMvakalelo
Ukuqeqeshwa komzwelo kudinga abazali ukuba baqaphele iimvakalelo zabo zomntwana kwakunye neemvakalelo zabo. Ukuvumela wena nomntwana wakho inkululeko yokuziva uvakalelwa yintliziyo yintliziyo yokufundisa. Iimvakalelo zilungile kwaye akukho mntu kufuneka agwetywe okanye agxeke ngenxa yokuziva ngendlela ethile.
Nika ingqalelo kwiindlela apho umntwana wakho asabela kwiimvakalelo ezinjengokuxhalaba, ukudabuka, umsindo, kunye nemihlali. Khangela iziqendu, ezifana nolwimi lomzimba, isenzo somzimba, kunye neenguqu zokuziphatha.
Qaphela umntwana wakho ukuba abe nomxholo kunye nendlela aveza ngayo iimvakalelo ezahlukahlukeneyo. Oku kuya kukunceda uqonde ukhonkco phakathi kwemvakalelo yakhe kunye nokuziphatha kwakhe.
2. Qhagamshelana nomntwana wakho
UGottman uncoma abazali ukuba badibane nabantwana babo ngamava amaninzi.
Esikhundleni sokuguquka xa umntwana enomsindo ukungawunaki ukuziphatha okufana nokuziphatha okucetyiswayo ekuguquleni ukuziphatha -i-coaching coaching ikhuthaza umyalelo othe ngqo.
Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba aziqonde iimvakalelo zakhe. Ncedise ukuba acacise iimvakalelo zakhe.
Ungenelela xa uqaphela ukuba uyacaphukisa ukuze unike ukhokelo kwaye ukhusele ukuziphatha kakubi.
Ungazami ukulungisa iimvakalelo ezimbi zomntwana wakho kodwa umbonise ukuba kuyinto evamile ukuba neentlobo ezininzi zeemvakalelo.
3. Mamela Umntwana Wakho
Ukuphulaphula umntwana kuyimfuneko ebalulekileyo yokuqeqeshwa kwemvakalelo. Qinisekisa iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho kwaye umbonise ukuba uyamkela iimvakalelo zakhe.
Kwakhona, bonise ukuba uthatha imvakalelo yomntwana wakho ngokungathandekiyo. Gwema ukuthetha izinto ezinje, "Yeka ukukhathazeka. Akuyona into ebalulekileyo," kuba imingeni yakho yomntwana iyimfuneko enkulu kuye.
4. Gama Iimvakalelo
Ncedisa umntwana wakho ukuba afunde indlela yokuqonda nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakhe. Ungazami ukumxelela into ayifanele ayive ngayo.
Ngoko endaweni yokuthi, "Musa ukwesaba," bonisa ukuba ubonakala njani evakalelwa ukuba aqiniseke kuye ukuba iimvakalelo zakhe zilungile. Yithi into enjengaleyo, "Kuqhelekile ukuba ube nexhala ngaphambi kokuba ufike esiteji."
Ukubhalisa iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho kuya kwandisa isigama sakhe sengqondo. Ukongezelela, xa ubonisa umntwana wakho uqonde indlela azive ngayo, uya kufaka amandla angaphantsi ekuzameni ukubonisa ukuba uyaphukisa.
5. Fumana iziSombululo
Uqeqesho lwengqondo lujolise ekukhuseleni ukuziphatha kakubi xa kunokwenzeka . Xa umntwana engena kwimeko apho unokuthi adideke ngokukhawuleza, mcedise ukuba achaze iindlela zokulawula ukuphazamiseka kwakhe ngaphambi kwexesha.
Yithi, "Ndiyazi ukuba uye kwivenkile yokutya kuba nzima kuba kuthatha ixesha elide kwaye ngezinye izihlandlo uzive ungaphelelwa yimonde. Namhlanje, xa uqala ukuziva udidekile, xelele kwaye siya kuthatha ikhefu imizuzu embalwa ukukunceda udibane. "
Xa umntwana wakho engenzi kakuhle, mkhuthaze ukuba achaze loo mvakalelo eyakhokelela ekuziphatheni. Emva koko, fundisa izakhono zokuxazulula iingxaki kwaye usebenze kunye ekufumaneni izicwangciso zobunzulu.
Xa kunokwenzeka, maye abantwana bahlakulele isisombululo sabo sokwenza izinto. Ngoko ke ukuba umntwana wakho uphosa izinto xa ethukuthele, hlalani kunye kwaye udale uluhlu lwezinye izinto anokuzenza xa ehlutha.
Unokwenza isigqibo sokwenza i-jacks ezili-10, ukudweba imifanekiso, okanye ukubetha amabhola kumnceda ahlangabezane nomsindo wakhe.
Emva koko, ngexesha elizayo xa ecaphukile, mkhuthaze ukuba azame ukusebenzisa enye yeengcamango zakhe ukuze azinciphe.
Khangela umntwana wakho ulunge ngokukhawuleza kwaye uyisebenzise indumiso ukukhuthaza ukuziphatha okuhle . Beka imida xa kuyimfuneko ngokusebenzisa iindlela zokuziphatha ezifana nemiphumo emihle okanye ixesha .
Ukubonelela ngemiphumo emibi xa umntwana wakho engenzi kakuhle. Yenza ukuba kucace ukuba ulungisa indlela yokuziphatha komntwana wakho, kungekhona iimvakalelo zakhe . Ngoko ngoxa kulungile ukuva umsindo, akulungile ukushaya.
> Imithombo:
> Lisitsa E. Isingeniso soQeqesho loQeqesho. I-Gottman Institute. Ipapashwe ngoFebruwari 20, 2017.