Ulwalamano lwabazali nabantwana lunokuchaphazela njani umkhuhlane wezingane
Akumangalisi ukuba ulwalamano lomzali-abantwana oludla ngokugqithiseleyo okanye ukungahoywa luya kuba nefuthe elibi kwimpilo yengqondo okanye yengqondo yabantwana; kodwa ngaba uyazi ukuba isitayela somzali sinokuchaphazela impilo yengane yomntwana? Uphando olukhangayo lubonise ukhonkco phakathi kwendlela umzali asebenzisana ngayo neengxaki zomntwana kwiintsapho.
Uphononongo olulodwa, olupapashwe kwi- Journal of Family Psychology ngoNovemba, ngo-2016, luhlolisise ikhonkco phakathi kweendlela zokuba ngumzali kunye nokuvuvukala nokusebenza kwamagciwane kwizingane, eziyimingcipheko yokugula kamva. Bafumene ukuba uhlobo oluthile lwabazali olunezinga eliphezulu kwizinga lokubeka umzali elingenalutho, ngokubhekiselele kuthiwa "umzali ongenakuvuswa" (engazi apho abantwana bantoni okanye abakwenzayo; bengabalulekanga; ebomini bebantwana) bekunxulumene nokusebenza kwe-immune system.
Ziziphi iindlela zoNzalo zabazali?
Iintlobo ezine ezisisiseko zeendlela zokuba ngumzali ezichazwe ngabafundi bezengqondo zizigunyazi, zivumelekile, zigunyazisiweyo kwaye zingenakuvulwa.
- Abaphathi: Abazali abavame ukufuna ukuthobela ngokuthe ngqo kwaye abachazi imithetho yabo okanye izigqibo zabo kubantwana baze bajezise abantwana ngaphandle kokubonisa ukufudumala okanye ukuxhaswa ngabaphathi. Abantwana abakhula nabazali abanokwenene banokwesaba iimeko ezintsha kwaye banokuzithemba , ukuxinezeleka.
- I-Permissive: Abazali abavumiyo abavumiyo, bayagxininisa imigaqo, babeke imida okanye balawule ukuziphatha kwezingane zabo. Abantwana abazali babo abaneemvume bavame ukunyaniseka kwaye bayakuhoxisa imimiselo kunye nemida, babe nobudlova kwaye bajamelane nomngcipheko ophezulu wokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi. Baye basengozini enkulu yokudakumba nokuxhalaba .
- Ukugunyazwa: Ngokusemgangathweni kwezona zimbini zehlabathi, olu hlobo lobazali lubandakanya abazali ababeka imithetho kunye nemida kwaye banike imiphumo yabantwana xa bengayilandeli. Kodwa abazali abagunyazisileyo banomdla kwaye bafudumele, kwaye benza umkhuba wokuphulaphula nokuthetha nabantwana babo. Abantwana abazali babo basebenzisa le ndlela yokukhulisa abazali bavame ukukhula ngempilo engqondweni, izakhono zentlalo kunye nokuzinza, kwaye banako ukufumana unxibelelwano olukhuselekileyo nabazali babo.
- Ukungaxoxwa: Abazali abangakhange bavumiwe ngokubanzi abanxibelelwano oluncinci okanye ukubandakanyeka nezingane zabo. Awufudumala kwaye aphendule kwiimfuno zeengxaki zabantwana, kwaye awuyikunyamekela ingqalelo ekujongeni okanye ukuyala abantwana . Ukungabikho komntwana ukukhululwa kubakhokelela kwiziphumo ezibi kunazo zonke kubantwana, kunye nezingane eziphelisa ukukhutshwa ngokomzwelo, ukuxhalaba , kunye nomngcipheko omkhulu wokuziphatha okuyingozi kunye nokusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi.
Ikhonkco phakathi kweNkqubo yoVulelo lwe-Immune kunye ne-Parents parent Style
Ukuphanda umphumo weendlela ezahlukeneyo zabazali kwimpilo yabantwana, abaphandi eYunivesithi yaseOregon bavavanye iisampula zamatye abantwana abangama-102 abaneminyaka eli-9 ubudala abafuna ukujonga amazinga eprotheyini esebenzayo e-C, ebonisa ukuvuvukala ngokubanzi emzimbeni, kunye ne-secretory immunoglobulin A, eyenza ukusetyenziswa kwe-immune system.
Bacela abazali bezingane ukuba bazalise umbuzo we-Alabama Parenting Questionnaire, owenza imilinganiselo emihlanu yesitayela somzali: ukubandakanyeka kwabazali okulungileyo, iindlela zokuziphatha ezilungileyo, ukusetyenziswa okuqhubekayo kwezindlela ezifanelekileyo zokuqeqesha, ukusetyenziswa kwezigwebo zomntu kunye nokubeka iliso. Iziphumo zacaca: Amanqaku aphakamileyo kwinqanaba lokubeka umzali elihluphekileyo lidibaniswe namanqanaba aphezulu kokuvuvukala kunye nokusebenza komzimba kubantwana.
Yintoni enokubangela emva kwesi sixhobo? Esinye isizathu singabangela ukuba abazali bacele abantwana ukuba baphathe ukuziphatha kwabo ngaphaya kwamandla abo, uthi u-Nicholas B.
Allen, PhD, unjingalwazi weengqondo zekliniki kwiYunivesithi yaseOregon. Asikhulumi ngemizekelo ye-helicopter yokubeletha abazali abahamba njengabantwana beekholeji-yobudala abantwana ababiza abaprofeti ukuba baphikisane ngamabanga; kodwa engabongeli abantwana abaneminyaka engama-9 ukuya kwinqanaba abazali abangaziyo ukuba ngabahlobo babo okanye oko benzayo akuvali kuphela ukuvula umntwana ukuya kwiingozi kunye nokukhetha okungalungileyo, kodwa kubangele bagxininiswe. Kwaye olo hlobo lugxininiso olungapheli lungaba nzima kwimpilo yengane. "Xa kukho iintsholongwane, ukusetyenziswa kwamagciwane omzimba kulungile," kusho uDkt. Allen. "Kodwa ukusebenza okungapheliyo akuyona into enhle."
Isitayela soBzali elihle kakhulu kwiMpilo yabantwana
Njengazo izinto ezininzi ekuzaleni abantwana kunye nobomi, ukumodareyitha kukhiye. Uhlobo olusondeleyo lokuba ngumzali olungabandakanyiyo kwaye aluxhomekekanga kubantwana kuba abantwana kufuneka bazame kwaye bazimelele ngokuqhelekileyo, uthi u-Allen uthi. Kodwa ukukhululwa komzali, apho abazali bengabandakanyekanga kubomi bentwana kwaye abanalo ulwalamano oluqinileyo nomntwana wabo akucaci kakuhle ukuba abantwana 'basengqondweni, ngokwengqondo okanye nangokwenyama .
Isitayela somzali esilungileyo kwimpilo yabantwana yinto engahambi kuyo yonke indlela, kwaye ivumela ukuzimela kwaye inikeze nokunyusa, utsho u-Allen. "Ufuna ukukhawuleza-kunika ixesha ngenkxaso xa umntwana esakhayo kwaye ephuhlisa kodwa ngokukhawuleza uyisuse."