Nawuphi na umzali uyazi ukuba kubantwana bendalo ukuvavanya imida yabo; kubonakala ngathi yinto yonke abantwana abazalwayo abazi indlela yokwenza, njengokuphefumla okanye ukufikelela kwinto engafanele ukuba iphakame kwi-counter. Umgca kulo mgaqo onzima kukuba ukunyusa imida kuyimfuneko ebalulekileyo yokukhula kwaye ibe yedwa , kwaye ngolunye usuku, ukuzicingela ngokwabo kwaye (ngethemba) ukwenza ukhetho olufanelekileyo.
Izingane zidinga ukucwangcisa imida yazo-ngokusunduza iisifuba ngoku, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha zicelomngeni kwaye zingavumelani nawe ukwenzela ukuba zikwazi ukufakazela abantu ngabanye xa zikhula. Umsebenzi wakho-kwaye njengomzali, sele ukhethe ukwamkela oko-kukufundisa abantwana ukuba bavavanye imida yabo ngentlonelo, ngaphandle kokuba bathukuthele okanye bangcolise , kwaye bazi ukuba ekugqibeleni, wena, umzali, ulawula.
Kutheni abantwana befuna iimida
Ngubani umphathi?
Izingane ziziva zikhuselekile xa zingenayo imida ecacileyo. Njengokuba abantwana badinga ixesha lokulala , baninzi bokulala , ukutya okunempilo , kunye nezinye, iindlela ezilindelekileyo zokuzigcina ziphilile, kwaye zifuna imithetho-njengokungaphambuli kwitalato ngaphandle komntu omdala okanye ungalokothi ukwabelana ngolwazi lwakho kwi- intanethi -kugcina zikhuselekile, zifuna imida ukuze zinike ingqiqo yokhuseleko. Xa abazali benganikeli imida ecacileyo, okanye bavumele abantwana babo ukuba babe nokulawula oko kuthethwa isigqibo ekhaya, ukulinganisela kwamandla okutshintshela kumntwana, okwenzakalisayo kubazali kunye nezingane.
Umzekelo, ukuba umntwana unomuzwa wokuthi unako ukubanceda abazali bakhe benze konke afuna, uya kuziva ukuba unamandla kunabantwana bakhe, kwaye ingaba uyaziqonda okanye akunjalo, ukungaqiniseki kunye nokukwazi ukulawula abantu kufuneka ukuba ulawulwayo kuya kumenza azive exhalabile kwaye engaqiniseki.
Umgca ophantsi: kumzabalazo wamandla, umzali kufuneka abe ngumdlali ocacileyo.
Ukungabikho kwemida i-skews yezingane ngokwabo.
Nanone umehluko ocacileyo phakathi kokuzithemba okulungileyo kunye ne- narcissism . Ukungabi nemingcsi ihlwayela imbewu ye-narcissism kunye nelungelo, kwaye ikhuthaza umntwana ukuba acinge ngabantu kunye nezinto ezizungezile njengezinto ezikhoyo ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zakhe aze amnike oko akufunayo. Abantwana abangenamida okanye uqeqesho baya kuvuka xa bengenakuhlala befumana oko bafuna.
Ukumisela imida kuyasusa-okanye ubuncinane kuncitshiswe-iingxabano, ukubuyela emva , kunye nengxoxo.
Akuthethi ukuba abantwana abayi kuzama ukufumana indlela yabo, kodwa bekwazi ukuba imida ibe yintoni, kwaye bakhunjuzwa xa bezama ukukuvavanya, kunceda ukunqumla umyinge we-back and out kwaye udibanise igumbi umntwana wakho uya kudala njengoko ezama ukukukholisa ukuba umnike oko akufunayo. Imida ifana nemiphumo-kuba uqinisekisa ukuba kukho imigaqo, kunye nemiphumo yokungalandeli loo mithetho, kuya kuba ne-pushback encinci kangangoko njengoko abantwana befunda ukuguqula indlela abaziphethe ngayo oko kulindeleke kubo.
Indlela yokuseka iMida
Nazi ezinye iindlela abazali abangabakhokela ngenyameko abantwana kwiindlela ezifanelekileyo xa bevavanya umda:
Bafundise ukuvakalisa izimvo zabo kunye neemfuno ngendlela enhle neyihlonelayo. Enye indlela ebalulekileyo yokwenza oku kukumisela indlela ozifunayo. Thetha nomntanakho ngethoni enomusa , qinisa kodwa ube nobungane xa uqeqesho , kwaye ungalokothi ukhwankqise okanye umthobe umntwana wakho xa wenza into engalunganga okanye ungavumelani naye.
Cacisa malunga nento "kwindawo engenazo zonke." Yenza imithetho ecacileyo kunye nomntwana wakho kwaye umxelele ukuba ngoxa uvulekile ukumva xa eziva ngathi ulawulo alufanelekanga -kude nje uthetha nawe ngentlonelo-kukho ezinye izinto, njengokukhwela ibhayisikili yakhe enehenqo , okungaxilwanga kwaye kufuneka ilandelwe rhoqo.
Ungenaso ingxoxo ende kunye nomntwana wakho omncinci. Ewe, kubalulekile ukuba umntwana azive ukuba iingcamango zakhe neemvakalelo ziyavakala kwaye abazali bakhe bayamkhathalela. Kodwa ukuya kwingcaciso ende kunye nomntwana oneminyaka emihlanu malunga nokuba kutheni ufuna ukulala ekuqaleni okanye ukuba kutheni angafuneki ngokukhawuleza ukuhamba isandla sakho kwaye ugijime kwindawo yokupaka akuyi kukhonza nayiphi na injongo, kwaye ukuthetha ngentuthuko, umntwana wakho akayi kukwazi ukuphulaphula ngokupheleleyo, ukuwuthatha umgaqo, kwaye ukhumbule le ngcaciso ngexesha elizayo. Into eyona nto yokwenzayo kukumnika umphumo (ukusebenza kwindawo yokupaka kuya kuthetha ukuba akayi kufikelela ekuncedeni ukuba uqhube iimpazamo kwakhona, okanye awuyi kukwazi ukumfumana ukutya okuthandayo okanye umdlalo okanye Ufuna esitolo kuba wenza le nto yingozi kwindawo yokupaka owamxelela ukuba angayenzi). Okanye umkhumbuze ukuba ekubeni engazange alungiselele ukulala ngexesha, akayi kuba nexesha lokuthanda ibali lakhe elithandayo okanye i-snuggle eyongezelelweyo nawe. Ezi ndlela zenzeke kakhulu ukuba ziphumelele kunye nabantwana abancinci nabantwana abadala.
Yiba njalo. Musa ukuyibeka phezu kwemida. Ukuba awutshiyo iTV ngaphambi kokuba ulale ubusuku obunye kuphela ukucubungela ngobusuku obulandelayo, uthumele umyalezo ocacileyo kumntwana ukuba imithetho ayithethi kakhulu, akufuneki ukuba ihlonishwe, kwaye ingaba lula utshintshile.
Ukulandela kwimiphumo yokuziphatha okubi . Ungesabi ukuqeqesha okanye ukhathazeke ukuba umntwana wakho uya kuthukuthela okanye akuthukuthelele. Kulo likhosi, kwaye ekuhambeni kwexesha, umntwana wakho uya kuzuza kwimida oyimisele ukuyenza ibe nempilo kwaye uyonwabile.
Ungalindelanga ukuba abantwana bafumane ngokukhawuleza. Unokufuneka unike umntwana wakho izikhumbuzo ezinobungane ngaphambi kokucima ukuba ukuziphatha okubi okanye okungaphephile kuya kubangela ukuba afune. Ukuziqhelanisa kwenza ukuba uphumelele, kwaye imida, njengawo nayiphi na enye into, ingadinga ukunikezwa ambalwa ambalwa phambi kokuba "umphathi" wakho umntwana aze akhumbule oko akumele akwenze, kwaye akufanele enze.