Indlela yokuphepha ukukhulisa umntwana ongabandakanyi abanye
Nazi iingcamango ezili-11 zokufundisa abantwana ukuba babandakanyeke. Ukushiya ngaphandle kweqela lezingane ezipholileyo esikolweni, kungabikho mntu uhlala kunye nesidlo sasemini, kungabamenywa kwimisebenzi yoluntu kwaye kuthathwa okokugqibela kwiqela, yonke imimiselo yokukhutshwa kwentlalo. Kwaba buhlungu. Ukukhutshwa kwezenhlalakahle kunokuchaphazela yonke into esuka kwimpilo yoluntu kwimpumelelo yezifundo.
Kuthekani ukuba umntanakho nguye owenza ukungabandakanyi? Uwafumana njani ukuba abandakanyeke kwaye uvumeleke ukuba bakhethe ngokukhetha ukuba ngubani oza kuphuma naye?
Qaphela ukuba ukukhutshwa ngaphandle kuhlobo lokuxhaphaza
Xa abantwana bengabandakanyeli abanye, le yindlela yokuxhatshazwa eyaziwayo njengobundlobongela okanye ubudlelwane . Eli gama libhekiselele ekusebenziseni intanethi yoluntu, mhlawumbi kwihlabathi langempela okanye kwi-intanethi, ukulimaza umntu. Ukukhutshwa ngenye yeendlela zokuxhatshazwa kwabantu abaxhatshazwayo.
Umbhali uScott Peck uchaza indlela amaqela angenakulungileyo angenza ngayo injongo nenjongo ngokwabo ngokukhetha umntu ukuba abe yintshaba efana nayo kwincwadi yakhe, iDrum ehlukeneyo: Ukwenza uluntu kunye noxolo . Oko akubhekisela kuyo xa iqela lamantombazana anentsingiselo okanye abaxhaphazayo bakha ubungqina babo ngokugcina umntu ngaphandle nokuhlasela idumela lomntu kunye nexabiso. Baphinde bahlakulele ingqiqo yokuxhomekeka nangona kunjalo ukuba bathetha.
Ngamanye amaxesha, iqela liya kumhlekisa ngomntu, libandakanye ukubiza amagama kunye nokushiya umntu ngaphandle kwintengiso. Kananjalo banokuthatha ukuxhatshazwa kwikhompyutha kwaye bahlanganyele kwi- cyberbullying , shamed, kunye ne- subtweeting . Ngamanye amaxesha, iqela lingazenza njengomntu ongenakho. Ngokuqhelekileyo, umntu omnye kwiqela ukhokelela ukuhlazola nokunyanzelisa kunye nokunyanzela abanye ukuba baxhaphaze .
Ngenxa yoko, amalungu eqela athatha inxaxheba okanye angatsho nto xa ukuziphatha kwintetho kwenzeka.
Ukwenza izinto zibe zibi nakakhulu, abantu abaqhelekanga bathabathe ulwalamano phakathi kwabantwana kunye nentsha. Benza iziphakamiso ezinjengezo, "Zithintele kwaye udlale nomnye umntu." Kodwa ukunciphisa intlungu yokukhutshwa akusayi kuba yinto efanelekileyo. Khawukhumbule ukuba zonke iintsapho, kungakhathaliseki ubudala, ziyazuza ekubeni nabadala ebomini babo baphulaphule kwaye baqinisekise iimvakalelo zabo.
Akunabantwana kuphela abafaka umyalezo kwiontanga zabo ukuba "balahleka," kodwa nabo banokuzenza ngendlela ezonakalisayo. Enyanisweni, abanye abantwana baxinezelekile okanye bacinga ukuzibulala. Okwangoku, abanye bayaba buhlungu baze bafune iindlela zokuziphindezela. Ngaphandle kwenkxaso, umntwana angase aqale ukukholelwa ukuba wonke umntu obalulekileyo kwihlabathi ucinga ukuba akanalo xabiso okanye ayifanele.
Ngokuqinisekileyo enye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokunceda ukulwa nokungabikho kukufundisa abantwana abaselula ukuba bangabandakanya njani. Nazi ezinye iindlela ongenza ngayo.
Fundisa abantwana ukuba babe ngabani na
Hlola zakho iintlukwano ezahlukeneyo . Khumbula abantwana bebukele kwaye balalele yonke into oyenzayo. Hlola ummelwane wakho, uluntu wakho, ubuhlobo bakho kunye nokusebenzisana kwakho nabanye.
Emva koko uthembeke kunye nawe. Iintsapho zakho zithintana kangakanani nabantu abangafani nawe? Ngokomzekelo, ngaba unayo abahlobo abahlukeneyo neentlanga? Ngaba uyamkela abantu? Okanye ngaba wenza izigwebo uze ugcine izinto ezintle? Ukuba ufuna ukuba abantwana bakho babandakanyeke, kufuneka ube njalo.
Ukuxhasa ngamnye umntu. Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba angayixabisi nje njengomntu onqabileyo kwaye onelungelo, kodwa nabanye. Mkhumbuze ukuba ukubonakala komntu, ubuntu, i-quirks, iinkolelo kunye nezinto ezithandayo zizisa into ekhethekileyo kwihlabathi ukuba akukho mntu onokuphinda aphinde. Ukuba umntwana wakho uyavuma ukuba wonke umntu unokunika into ethile, uya kuba yincinci ekuthandeni abanye abantu.
Nqaba iingcamango-zihlwele. Qiniseka ukuba umntwana wakho uyaqonda ukuba "in-crowd" akayi kuguqulela "kwisihlwele esona sikhulu." Endaweni, jolise ingqalelo kwiimpawu ezifanelekileyo kuquka ubabalo , inhlonipho novelwano . Uze umfundise ukuba yintoni ubuhlobo obuhle . Kwakhona, njengoko umzali enqaba ukutshala imali kuyo yonke i-electronics yakutshanje, izixhobo, izambatho, izihlangu kunye neemoto. Ezi zinto aziyi kuthenga ukwamkelwa komntwana wakho. Ukuba uthatha ugxininiso lomntwana wakho kwizinto eziphathekayo njengendlela yokwamkela, ngoko uya kuba necala lokugweba abanye ngezinto zabo eziphathekayo.
Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba afinyelele kwabanye. Mkhuthaze ukuba enze ezinye iiklasi eklasini yakhe zive zixabiseke. Mkhuthaze ukuba abize umntwana omtsha eklasini okanye afunde le ntombazana ehlala ehlala yedwa emini. Enye indlela yokuqinisekisa ukuba oku kwenzekayo kukungumngeni umntwana wakho ukuba afune into eyodwa entle ngomntwana ahlala ehlala athi uyacaphukisa. Umngeni ukuba enze oku kuya kumfundisa ukuba kulungile kuwo wonke umntu kwaye ukuba wonke umntu unokufumana ihlabathi.
Yenza umntwana wakho abuke kwixesha elizayo. Ngamanye amaxesha amaxabiso, ubuchule kunye namandla anqwenelekayo esikolweni esiphakathi azikho iimpawu ezifanayo ezithandwa kade kwikholejini. Ngokomzekelo, inkwenkwezi eneengqiqo ephosakeleyo kwisikolo esiphakathi iyakwazi ukuba ngugqirha oqaqambileyo ngelinye ilanga. Injongo yinto yokuba umntwana wakho ubona ukuba nabantwana abangabonakaliyo bafanelekile ukutshala ixesha.
Buza abaqeqeshi. Ootitshala, abacebisi kunye neenqununu ngokuqhelekileyo banako ukuchonga umntwana onobomi abangabakho umhlobo wakho, ngakumbi ukuba umntwana wakho ubonakala ekhangela abahlobo abanobuthi okanye iinyoka . Qiniseka ukuba ukhangele kunye nootitshala nabalawuli esikolweni sakho somntwana ukuze uthole iingcamango kwabanye ubuhlobo okanye amaqela. Ii-clique ziyakunobungozi kwaye kufuneka ukhuthaze umntwana wakho ukuba angayi kuba yinxalenye yecacque.
Ncedisa umntwana wakho ukuba aphonse umnatha omkhulu. Uphando luye lwabonisa ukuba abantwana abaneentlobo ezahlukeneyo zobuhlobo, ezifana nabahlobo besikolo, icawa, imidlalo kunye nokunye abaya kwamkela abanye, kodwa nabo banako ukuxhatshazwa. Isizathu silula. Bafunde ukuhambelana neqela elithile labantu.
Ngenxa yoko, umele ukhuthaze umntwana wakho ukuba akhonze umnatha omkhulu kwaye afune ubungane kwindawo yabo, esikolweni, kwiqela, ngeqela kunye necawa. Khumbula, udlala indima ebalulekileyo ekuqinisekiseni ukuba umntwana wakho ufumana ubungqina obuninzi obunentsingiselo. Mkhuthaze ukuba akhe ubuhlobo obunempilo kunye noontanga ezininzi ezahlukeneyo kunye nazo zonke iintlobo zamaqela omhlobo. Abantwana abaneenethiwekhi ezahlukeneyo zabahlobo abancedisayo banethuba elikhulu lokuphumelela kwihlabathi elifani kakhulu.
Ukuxhobisa umntwana wakho . Ngekubeni kubalulekile ukuba umntwana wakho uzame ukufaka wonke umntu, kufuneka kwakhona ukuba umxelele ukuba uvumelekile ukuba azive ekhuselekileyo kwaye axabiseke kubuhlobo. Umntwana wakho akufanele avume ukuba ahlaselwe ngokomzimba okanye ahlaselwe ngumntwana enomdla wokubandakanya. Ngaphezu koko, ukuba ubuhlobo buye bubonakalisa bulimaza kwaye buyingozi, kuyamkeleka ukuba umntwana wakho amise imida nomntu.
Kuyamkeleka ukuba kusekwe imingcele kunye nezingane ezineemfuno ezizodwa. Kungenxa yokuba umntwana unesiphene asimniki ilungelo lokulimaza umntwana wakho ngokomzimba okanye ngokomzwelo. Kwakhona akufanele umntwana wakho abe nomuzwa wokuthi uhlala efuna ukwenza oko omnye umntwana akufunayo ukuba akuyiyo into ekhethekileyo.
Yakha umgama ngenhlonipho . Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana banengqondo kwaye akukho mpilo kumntwana wakho ukugcina ubuhlobo. Kodwa loo nto ayinikezeli umntwana ilungelo lokuphindaphinda. Endaweni yoko, khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba agweme ukusebenzisa amagama amabi, ukuxolisa amanga okanye ukugweba amahlaya enkohlakalo ngokungongeza "ukumbamba" ekupheleni kwesivakalisi.
Kufanele akhethe ukuhlonipha xa edala umgama kumhlobo. Kwaye ukuba kufanelekile, mxelele ukuba kutheni ukuba uzidele. Kwezinye iimeko, ukuthetha ngokunyaniseka kunokukhuthaza umntu osemtsha ukuba atshintshe.
Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba abe ngummeli engekho ubungqina . Ukunyanzeliswa koontanga yinto enamandla. Kodwa kunjalo ukuma kwamanye abantwana. Uphando lubonisa ukuba xa umntu omnye emela ukuxhatshazwa, uyayeka. Xa umntwana wakho ebona omnye umntwana engabandakanywa, mkhuthaze ukuba amise.
Uyakwenza oku ngeendlela eziliqela. Okokuqala, unokuxelela abanye ukuba ngaphandle komntu ongeyonto. Okanye, unokuthatha amanyathelo okuba ngumhlobo nomfundi ongekho ngaphandle kokumema ukuba enze into kunye emva kwesikolo. Kwakhona unokunikela ukuba ahlale naye emini, ahambe naye kwiiholo kwaye uthethe naye phakathi kweeklasi.
Gcina umkhondo wezinto ezenzeka kwi-intanethi . Ukuba umntwana wakho uthatha inxaxheba kwi-intanethi kwi-intanethi ethintela abanye, qiniseka ukuba uthetha okuthile malunga nayo. Nangona umntwana wakho akenzanga nantoni na yokugxotha abanye, umkhumbuze ukuba ukuthanda okanye ukwabelana ngesithuba sentsingiselo kunjengobuhlungu njengento yangaphambili.
Ngokufanelekileyo, umntwana wakho kufuneka ayeke ukulandela abantwana abathandayo ngokupheleleyo. Kodwa abantwana abaninzi banokwesaba ukulahleka kwaye oku kunokuba nzima kubo. Ngoko ube nomonde. Ukusika le miqathango kunokuthatha ixesha kunye nesilinganiso esithile sesibindi, ngokukodwa xa ukwesaba ukuphindezela. Okwangoku, gwema ukugxininisa ukuba umntwana wakho ayeke ukusebenzisa iteknoloji okanye imidiya yoluntu ngokupheleleyo. Kunoko, mfundise indlela yokuzikhuphaza kubahlobo abangenalo impilo kwi-intanethi . Ezi zifundo ziya kumnceda kamva kunobomi kunokungabi namava kunye nabezindaba kuluntu.