Ukuqonda ulwalamano olusondeleyo kunye nentetho yentombazana
Ulwalamano olusondeleyo luhlobo oluthile lokuxhatshazwa oluvame ukungaqondwa ngabazali nootitshala. Ngenxa yoko, intsha kunye neyesibini ezithatha inzondo zobudlelane zihlala zikwazi ukuxhaphaza, ukulawula nokuphatha abanye bonke phantsi kwe-radar yabantu abadala. Enyanisweni, abanye abantwana banamakhono kulolu hlobo lokuxhatshazwa okungekho mntu uya kubakhokrokra ukuba babangele abanye.
Ngamanye amaxesha ulwalamano olunxulumene nolwalamano lubhekiswa njengento yokuxhatshazwa ngokwemvakalelo okanye intombazana enentsingiselo kunye nentsebenziswano yezenzo ezifana noku:
- ngaphandle kwabantu abavela kwiqela
- iindlebe
- ukuphula iimfihlo okanye ukwabelana ngemfihlelo
- ukuqesha abanye ukuba bangawuthandi ukujoliswa
Ngokuqhelekileyo, amantombazana athambekele ekuxhatshazelaneni ngakumbi kunamakhwenkwe, ngokukodwa kwinqanaba lesihlanu ukuya kwibanga lesibhozo.
Iimpawu eziqhelekileyo zoBugcisa
Nangona amaqhinga asetshenziselwa ulwalamano olusondeleyo ahluke kwi-bully ukuya kwesinye, nakhu iziganeko eziqhelekileyo zokujonga:
- uthetha kakubi ngabanye
- buyele kwakhona
- ukuhlekisa abanye ngokuba ngubani, indlela abagqoka ngayo okanye indlela abajonga ngayo
- ukungabandakanyi kunye nokugxotha abanye
- ukushiya umonakalo okanye ukuthetha imiyalezo kwiifowuni, kwi-media media, idesksi kunye neenkloko
- ukuxhaphaza nge-cyberbullying okanye ukuhlazisa abanye nge-intanethi
- soyikisa abanye
- usebenzisa uxinzelelo lwabaontanga ukuze abanye bathathe inxaxheba ekuxhatshazweni
- ukumisela imithetho nabani na ofuna ukuba yinxalenye yeqela loluntu
- ukwenza iifowuni
- ukusabalala okanye ukuxela
Kutheni Kuthiwa Amantombazana Agxotha Ukuxhatshazwa?
Enye yezona zizathu eziphambili zamantombazana ezibandakanya ulwalamano olusondeleyo lubandakanya ukuseka nokugcina isimo sezentlalo esikolweni. Ngokomzekelo, amantombazana aya kusebenzisa ulwalamano olusondeleyo ekuhlaleni umntu othile xa ekhulisayo isimo sakhe sezenhlalakahle.
Naliphi inani lezinto eziqhuba le ndlela yokuziphatha kuquka yonke into esuka kumona kunye nesidingo sokuqwalasela ukwesaba ukhuphiswano. Nantsi ingqungquthela yezizathu ezikhuthazayo zobudlova.
Ulwalamano olusondeleyo luyanciphisa ubunzima kwaye luvuyisa .
Abafazi abaxhatshazwayo bayakhula xa bethetha amabali amnandi okanye ukwabelana ngolwazi olubi. Ngenxa yoko, amantombazana aya kwenza uvuyo ebomini babo ngokusasaza iindlebe , ukwabelana ngemfihlelo okanye ukudala umdlalo. Bakuvuyela ingqalelo abayifumanayo yokwazi into abanye abangazi. Kwaye bathanda ukukwazi ukunciphisa ukhuphiswano lwabo kunye nebali elimnandi elonakalisa idumela lomnye umntu.
Ulwalamano olusondeleyo luyiphumo loxinzelelo lwaontanga.
Amanye amantombazana athoxisa imilinganiselo okanye imigaqo yabo ukuze bahambelane neqela okanye bafumane ukwamkelwa. Basenokusasaza amahlebezi okanye ukuhleba ukuze bazive njengenxalenye yeqela okanye baziwa kakhulu. Kananjalo banokuthi bathathe inxaxheba kwiqela lokuxhatshazwa okanye ukugxotha omnye umntu ukuze bamkelwe yiqela. Ngamaxesha amaninzi, benza ezi zinto ngenxa yokwesaba ukulahlekelwa yindawo yabo yentlalontle ngaphakathi kweqela kunye nasezikolweni.
Ulwalamano olusondeleyo luvela kwi-self-esteem .
Ulwalamano olusondeleyo ngamanye amaxesha lugxininiso lokuzithoba .
Ngokomzekelo, umxhaphazi unokuziva ekhuselekile ngeempahla zakhe okanye kubukeka kwaye uya kuhlasela abanye ngaphambi kokuba abe nethuba lokumhlasela. Ngamanye amaxesha, amantombazana aya kuxhaphaza abanye enethemba lokuba ukwenza oko kuya kwenza bazive bengcono ngokwabo.
Ulwalamano olusondeleyo luphelisa ukhuphiswano .
Ngamanye amaxesha amantombazana aya kumnxusa umntu ngenxa yokuba ayenomona. Mhlawumbi banomuva obalaseleyo, onobulumko okanye owaziwayo kubafana. Kungakhathaliseki isizathu, amantombazana aya kujolisa umntu ukuba amenze angabonakali nakakhulu kwabanye. Ngokuqhelekileyo, baya kusebenzisa amaqhinga afana namahemuhemu, ukuhlambalaza i-slut kunye negama-ukubizela ukwenza enye intombazana ibonakale ingalunganga.
Ulwalamano olusondeleyo luhambo lokufunda.
Ngamanye amaxesha amantombazana ahlekisayo aze athethe kakubi ngabanye ngenxa yokuba yiloo nto abonwa ngabasetyhini abadala. Ingaba kuyisicwangciso somabonwakude, udade omdala, unina okanye nokuba iqela lootitshala, amantombazana ahlala ebonisa indlela abaziphatha ngayo emva kokubhekiselele kubo.
Iimiphumo Zomzwelo Zobudlova Obudlelwane
Akuqhelekanga kubazali kunye nootitshala ukuba banganyanisekanga impembelelo yobudlova. Kodwa kulabo abasesigxina sokufumana, kunjengoko buhlungu nje nawuphi na uhlobo loxhatshazo. Enyanisweni, amantombazana amaninzi achaza ukuba ukuxhatshazwa ngokobudlelwane kunokuxhatshazwa njengobundlobongela. Ukwahlukana kukuba ulwalamano lobuhlobo lusuka kwimivumba ngaphakathi, kungekhona ngaphandle. Kwezinye iimeko, amaxhoba okuxhatshazwa ngokwemvakalelo abonisa iimpawu ezininzi zokubandezeleka kunokuba baxhatshazwa ngokwenyama. Ngokomzekelo, amaxhoba enkanuko yobudlelwane rhoqo:
- bazive bengavumiyo, bengenakuhlala bengenalo, bengenakulinganisekanga, bengabonakali
- baxinezeleka
- ukucinga ngokuzibulala
- ukuhlakulela ukuzithoba
- amava okutya kunye nokuphazamiseka kokulala
- baxhamla kwizemfundo
- umzabalazo wokwenza ubuhlobo obuhle
Ukuba uyaphawula nayiphi na le mpawu kumntwana wakho, qiniseka ukuba ugaye encinci kwaye ufumanisa oko kwenzekayo. Unokufuna ukucinga ngokuthetha nodokotela wezilwanyana okanye ukufumana umcebisi ojongene nokuxhatshazwa kwemiba.
Igama elivela kwi-Verywell
Kukho uninzi lwezinto onokuzenza ukuze uncede umntwana wakho amelane nemantombazana enentsingiselo aze ahlasele ulwalamano lobuhlobo . Ngokomzekelo, qiniseka ukuba uthathe ixesha lokuphulaphula. Xoxa ngento yokuba ngelixa engakwazi ukulawula oko abanye abantu abakwenzayo okanye bathi, unokulawula ukuphendula kwakhe. Yiba nomkhuthazo, ube nesineke novelwano. Ulwalamano olusondeleyo luyinto edidekayo nebuhlungu. Kwakhona, uhlolisise ngugqirha wakho okanye kwintsapho xa ubona iimpawu zokudakumba okanye ukuba uveza iingcinga zokuzibulala. Ezi zinto akufanele zinyanzeliswe.