Iminyaka elivisayo igcwele zonke iintlobo zamantombazana athetha. Ukusuka kwiintandane kunye nabahlobo abayinyaniso kubangane abanobuhlungu kunye namantombazana alawulayo, ukuziphatha kwentombazana yabo ngokuqhelekileyo ukushiya ukuvakalelwa, ukuphazamiseka nokuphazamiseka.
Khumbula, ukuziphatha okuthethileyo akuyona into eqhelekileyo yokuziphatha kwentombazana, kwaye intombi yakho ayiyi kuqonda indlela yokuphendula ngaphandle koqeqesho oluvela kuwe. Enyanisweni, ukuziphatha kwentombazana kuthetha ukuphazamiseka nokungahambelani. Ngelinye ilanga intombazana inokubonakala ngathi intombi yakho ingumhlobo ongcono, ngosuku olulandelayo uyala ukuthetha naye. Umsebenzi wakho kukumnceda ukuba umhlobo wakhe wayengumhlobo ngokwenene kodwa ulawule esikhundleni.
Kukho isibalo sezizathu zokuthi amantombazana akhetha ukuthini okanye asebenzise ubudlova . Ezi zizathu zibandakanya yonke into ekukhuphukeni kwinqanaba lentlalo kwixinzelelo zontanga . Kuthetha ukuba amantombazana ahlala kwiingqungquthela ezisetyenziselwa ukuzithemba, ukugxotha , ukusabalalisa amahemuhemu , ukubiza amagama kunye nokunyanzelisa ukulimaza ngokwengqondo.
Ziyabalimaza abanye nge- cyberbullying . Kwaye bathatha inkohlakalo e-intanethi, ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo , ukuhlambalaza i-slut kunye namanye amacebo okulimaza. Ii-Clique ziqiniswa kwi-webhsayithi xa amantombazana ethola imifanekiso yemicimbi ekhethekileyo kunye neziganeko apho kuphela ezimbalwa ezikhethiweyo ezifakiwe.
Ukuba intombi yakho ibingumhlobo kunye neqela lentombazana enentsingiselo, okanye ijoliswe yintombazana entle esikolweni, ungakhathazeki kukuba kuya kuba buhlungu kangakanani kuye. Kwaye nangona kubonakala kungabalulekanga kuwe, kuyinto enkulu kakhulu kuye. Ngenxa yoko, qiniseka ukuba uzibophe ngezinto ezithile ezicingayo ukuthetha ngolu hlobo. Nazi izinto ezisi-9 ongayicinga ukuxelela intombi yakho.
"Ndiyaqonda."
Mhlawumbi indlela ebaluleke kakhulu unokukunceda intombi yakho ukuba ivelise imeko yakhe. Mkhumbuze ukuba akukho mntu ufanele ukuphathwa ngendlela ephathwa ngayo. Kuthetha ukuba amantombazana asenza abanye bazive bephantsi. Ukugxininisa zonke izinto ezintle anokunika ihlabathi. Qiniseka ukuba intombi yakho iyazi ukuba ayinayo ingxaki, intombazana entle. Ncedise ugxininise ngamandla akhe kunoko.
"Bomisa kwaye uhlale unamandla."
Kuthetha ukuba amantombazana banako ukukwazi ukuqonda ukuba ngubani ongakwazi ukulawula nokusebenza. Ngoko, khuthaza intombi yakho ukuba imomothe kwaye ihlale iqinisekile. Kufuneka aphephe ukukhathazeka, ukungaqiniseki okanye ukutshatyalaliswa. Sebenza kunye nentombi yakho ekuqinisekeleni nokwakha ukuzithemba . Kuthetha ukuba amantombazana akwazi ukuphindaphinda amaqhinga abo ukuba intombi yakho inokuhlala iqinisekile kwaye ilawulwe. Mfundise ukuba abe nehambo efanelekileyo, ilizwi elinamandla lokuthetha kunye nokujonga amehlo. Ezi zihlandlo zihlala ziphazamisa intombazana. Ngamaxesha amaninzi, bafuna ukulula.
"Yiba nethemba kwaye uxhomekeke."
Yonke intombazana kufuneka ifunde indlela yokuzimela yona, ingakumbi kumantombazana athetha. Indlela efanelekileyo yokwenza oku kukufunda indlela yokuqinisekisa . Injongo yinto yokuba intombi yakho ikwazi ukuzikhusela ngendlela ehloniphekileyo ngaphandle kokuba yintlonelo okanye ithetha ngokubuyisela. Kufuneka athole indlela yokuthetha ukuba le ntombazana ixhatshazwa kwaye ithetha ukuba amaqhinga ayiphutha kwaye ayiyi kunyamezela. Khumbuza intombi yakho ukuba intombazana ithetha ukuba ingabonakali ngokuziphatha kwayo. Ufanele abonise ukuba bahlukumeze xa bejolise kuye.
"Cinga impendulo yakho."
Mkhumbule intombi yakho ukuba nangona engenawo ulawulo malunga noko abanye abantu abakutshoyo okanye abakwenzayo, unako ukulawula impendulo yakhe. Ukuxininisa ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba intombazana enentsingiselo yintoni okanye ithi, kufuneka azame ukugcina iimpendulo zakhe zikhululekile. Kwaye ukuba akakwazi ukuphendula ngendlela ezolile, kufuneka ahoxise izimvo aze ahambe. Emva koko, mkhuthaze ukuba akhulume nawe okanye omnye umntu omdala malunga nendlela yokujongana nokuhlaselwa kwangomso. Injongo kukumlungiselela ukuhlaselwa kwangaphambili ngamantombazana athetha.
"Khubaza kwingxoxo."
Ukuba intombi yakho ummeli uthetha ukuziphatha kwentombazana , kufuneka aqonde ukuba ukuma nokuthetha akukho nto ithetha ukuba uyayamukela le ndlela yokuziphatha. Kwaye ukuba akanako isibindi sokuthetha into okwangoku, kufuneka ahambe. Xa intombazana enentsingiselo engenabalandeli abasebenzayo, ilahlekelwa ngamanye amandla. Mkhumbuze ukuba kubalulekile ukubika ukuziphatha kakubi kumntu omdala. Kwakhona unokukwazi ukuba ngumhlobo wesigxina lentombazana. Zonke ezi zinto zinciphisa amathuba okuziphatha kwentombazana enokuthi iya kuphumelela.
"Gcina umntu omdala unolwazi."
Amaninzi amaninzi, amantombazana acinga ukuba angakwazi okanye abamele abhekane nokuziphatha kwentombazana. Nangona kukho izizathu ezibangela ukuba abantwana bangatsho mntu malunga nokuxhatshazwa , uxinzelelo kwintombi yakho ukuba wena nabanye abantu abadala ukhona ukuze ncedise. Qinisekisa ukuba uyazi ukuba umbuyise kwaye uya kusebenza nesikolo ukuphelisa lo msebenzi. Zibophezele ekuncedeni intombi yakho ngale ndlela kwaye uya kuba nako ukugcina ulwazi.
"Khangela elinye iqela labahlobo."
Ngokuqhelekileyo, intombazana enentsingiselo ngumntu intombi yakho icinga ukuba ungumhlobo. Intombi yakho inokuba yinxalenye yeqela eliye laba yi-clique kwaye amantombazana akhona abahlobo bobuxoki, kodwa iindawo zentshaba. Thetha kwintombi yakho malunga nendlela yokujonga abahlobo abangamanga. Xubusha ngeempawu ezikhoyo xa umhlobo ungumxhaphazi . Bese ucacisa ukuba ngubani onokuba ngabahlobo abalungileyo ukusabalala naye. Khuthaza intombi yakho ukuba ihambe kwaye imeme loo ntombazana. Zikulungele ukumnceda abe nobuhlobo . Ubuhlobo obunempilo ngenye yezona zinto zingcono zokuxhatshazwa.
"Gxininisa esikolweni."
Abantwana bavame ukuvumela abanye ukuba bathethe kwaye benze ntoni ukuchaphazela ubomi babo bemihla ngemihla. Kwaye into yokuqala echaphazelekayo yimisebenzi yabo yesikolo. Nceda intombi yakho yitshintshe ingqalelo. Ukubeka esweni iselfowuni kunye nokusetyenziswa kwekhompyutheni yindawo efanelekileyo yokuqala. Kodwa ungathinteli intombi yakho ekusebenziseni le ndlela yokunxibelelana. Endaweni yoko, mkhuthaze ukuba achithe ixesha elincinci kwimicimbi yoluntu. Ukugxininisa ukuba akafanele avumele intlungu ebangelwa zizenzo zabanye ukulawula ubomi bakhe kunye nexesha lakhe. Udinga ukubuyisela ukulawula kwaye ugxininise kwinto alawulayo njengesikolo okanye imidlalo.
"Fumana iindlela eziphilileyo zokuhlangabezana."
Yenza intombi yakho yazi ukuba yintoni enzima ngayo kwaye akufanele ilinge ukuyisebenzisa yedwa. Yiba nomdla ukumphulaphula ngaphandle kokugweba okanye ukuzama ukulungisa izinto. Mxelele ukuba ungumntu okhuselekileyo ukuthetha naye. Kwaye ukuba akafuni ukuthetha nawe, mncedise ukuba afumane umntu onokuzimela kuye. Qaphela kwakhona nemiphumo yokuxhatshazwa kwexesha elide njengento yokutya , imiba yomzimba, i- PTSD , ukuziphatha okubi, ukuxinezeleka kunye neengcinga zokuzibulala . Yaye ungesabi ukuphuma ngaphandle kwintombazana yakho. Akuyena uphawu lobuthathaka ukufuna ootitshala bezobugcisa kunye nabacebisi. Enyanisweni, kubonisa ubulumko. Yenza konke onako ukukunceda intombi yakho ikwazi ukumelana namantombazana athetha. Uya kuvuya ukuba wenze.