Nantsi into engenziyo xa uxhatshazwa
Uninzi lwabantu luyathetha kakuhle xa linikeza iingcebiso malunga nokuxhatshazwa kweemeko. Kodwa ngaphandle kokuba baqeqeshwe ngokuthintela ukuxhatshazwa okanye baye baxhaphazwa ngokwabo, iingcebiso zabo zingathi zizwakala okanye zikhuphe ngaphandle.
Ngokomzekelo, abaninzi abantu banikela ngeengcebiso ezinjenge-cliché-type ezifana: "Gcina isilwanyana sakho," "Ungakuvumeli ukuba ube phantsi," okanye "Oku kuya kudlulela." Okwangoku, abanye abantu banikela ngcebiso akuyona nje ingozi kodwa kwaye kulungile.
Kwaye ukulandela isiluleko sabo kunokufumana wena okanye umntwana wakho wenzakele okanye enkingeni.
Ukujamelana nokuxhatshazwa kunzima njengoko kungekho ngaphandle kokuphonsa iingcebiso ezimbi kumxube. Nazi izinto ezintlanu abantu abahlala besithi xa befumanisa ukuba umntwana wakho uxhatshazwa. Qiniseka ukuba ungalandeli olu cebiso. Ukwenza oko kungenza imeko yakho ibe nzima nakakhulu.
"Mbuyise"
Abazali bezingane zaseprayimari basoloko basebenzisa le ngcebiso. Kodwa ukuphendula kumntwana onamazwana athi "uyimbuyisela" akuyona nje ingozi kwaye ayifanelekanga, kodwa yinto ephambili yobuvila bomzali. Ukuxelela umntwana ukuba ambethe ngaphandle kokuthetha ngento eyenzekayo kukuba uhlobo olugqithiseleyo lokuxubha umzali lunganika umntwana. Kunoko, thetha nomntwana wakho malunga nento eyenzekayo. Fumana into eyenziwa ngu-bully kwaye uqikelele iingcamango malunga nendlela engcono ngayo yokulungisa imeko. Emva koko, thetha inqununu okanye utitshala malunga nokuba umntwana wakho uhlangabezana nani. Fumana oko isikolo enenjongo yokwenza ukuba isikolo sikhusele umntwana wakho.
Nangona ukubetha omnye umntwana akunconywa, akuthethi ukuba umntwana wakho akafanele azivikele kumntu onokuxhaphaza . Iklasi efanelekileyo yokuzikhusela iyakubonisa abantwana indlela yokuzikhusela okanye ukuvalela iimbopho, indlela yokususa umntu ekubanjweni kwesandla sakhe kunye nendlela yokuphuma kwezinye iimeko ezahlukeneyo. Kodwa alukho icebiso elifanelekileyo lokukhuthaza umntwana ukuba alwe nomntu onokuthi unamandla kwaye unamandla.
Gcina ukhumbule ukuba umxhaphazi unokufuna ukulwa kwaye uya kulungelelwa into enjalo. Kunoko, fundisa umntwana wakho indlela yokumelana nomntu onokuxhaphaza ngendlela evelisayo kunye nenenjongo.
Okokugqibela, ukuxelela umntwana ukuba atshaye omnye umntwana uza nemiphumo. Awunayo ingcamango yokuba umntwana wakho uza kukuthatha ixesha elingakanani. Ngokomzekelo, unokumiswa okanye ukugxothwa esikolweni okanye abe nokuhlaselwa ityala kuye xa ehamba kakhulu. Kwaye, kwiimeko ezimbi kakhulu, abanye abantwana baye baphindela ngokuchasana nabantwana abaxhatshazwayo nezixhobo okanye izibhamu. Qinisekisa ukuba ufundisa umntwana wakho iindlela eziphilileyo zokujongana nokuxhatshazwa.
"Yigatya"
Nangona ilungileyo icebiso lokungavumi ukusabela xa utsho uxhaphazo okanye wenza into ethile, umntwana wakho akafanele enze ngathi ukuxhatshazwa okwenzekayo. Kunoko, kufuneka axelele umntu omdala, utitshala okanye umqeqeshi okwenzekayo. Khumbula, ukuxhatshazwa kukumalunga nokulawula. Ukuba umxhaphazi uyakwazi ukuthulisa umntwana wakho, ngoko umxhaphazi unamandla amaninzi ngaphezu kobomi bomntwana wakho.
Endaweni yokuxelela umntwana wakho ukuba angayinaki ukuxhatshazwa, mfundise indlela yokuphendula kumxhaphazi ngendlela ephilileyo. Enye indlela anokuyenza ngayo ukulawula impendulo yakhe. Ngokomzekelo, akafanele akholelwe inkohliso enokuthi inkxwaba ngaye.
Akayena olahlekileyo, i-nerd okanye nayiphina i-ilebula engafanelekanga. Ukongezelela, akafuneki ukuba acinge ukucinga. Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba aphinde aphinde acinge ngokuxhatshazwa kodwa kungabonakali. Kufuneka ajongane nentloko ukuze ahlangabezane nxamnye noxhatshazo.
"Musa ukuba nguTattletale."
Xa umntu ephendula kwixhoba lokuxhatshazwa ngale mpendulo, bathumela imiyalezo emininzi. Okokuqala, baxelela umntwana ukuba ukuxhatshazwa kukubi. Okwesibini, baxoxisana nokungabikho komdla ekuncedeni umba ngokunika umntwana ithuba lokutshiza.
Endaweni yoko, abantwana kufuneka bafundiswe umahluko phakathi kokukhangela kunye nokunika ingxelo. Kudinga isibindi ukubika ukuxhatshazwa kwaye abantwana kufuneka bazi ukuba kuyamkeleka ukuthetha ngayo nabantu abadala.
Ngaphezu koko, ootitshala ngokukodwa kufuneka baqaphele imilayezo emibi abayithumeleyo xa bengaphenduli kwezikhalazo zokuxhatshazwa. Ukuze kukhuthazwe indawo yokufunda esikolweni, ukuxhatshazwa kufuneka kulungiswe ngokukhawuleza nangokufanelekileyo. Ukulindela abantwana ukuba bajongane nemiba yokuxhatshazwa kwiimpembelelo zabo ngokwazo zonke izikolo.
Ekugqibeleni, njengomzali kufuneka ugweme ukubiza umntanakho umthambo xa ekhupha imiba, ingakumbi xa kubandakanya ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana . Ukuba uhlala utshela umntwana wakho ukuba ungumthambo, ekugqibeleni uyayeka ukunxibelelana nawe malunga nemiba emikhulu ebomini bakhe. Awuze ufune ukukhupha umgca woqhagamshelwano onalo nomntwana wakho. Nangona uvakalelwa ukuba unokukwazi ukulungisa imiba yakhe, thatha ixesha lokuphulaphula izikhalazo zakhe.
"Fumana."
Ngokuchasene noko abantu abanokukuxelela, ukufumana okanye ukufuna ukuziphindisela akusayi kwenza ukuba wena okanye umntwana wakho azive ngcono. Kunoko, ukuziphindezela kuya kukushiya bobabini beziva bengenanto kwaye bacinezelekile. Indlela engcono kukugxila kwinto enokuyilawula umntwana wakho njengempendulo yakhe ekuxhatshazweni kunye nendlela oya kujongisa ngayo imeko.
Amaxesha amaninzi abazali bajika kumajelo asekuhlaleni ukuze babelane ngamava abantwana babo ngokuxhatshazwa. Kodwa le nto yona nto enokuyenza. Akukuphela nje ukubandakanya ukuhlazola esidlangalaleni ngokuxhatshazwa ngokwaso, kodwa kuphinda kuhlasele umntwana wakho ngokwenza imeko ehlazo. Kwakhona ummisela ukuxhatshazwa. Abanye abantwana banokujoyina ukuxhatshazwa xa bebona ukuba ufumana impendulo enjalo.
Kunoko, gcina ukuxhatshazwa ngendlela ebonakalayo . Ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kakhulu ukukhathazeka malunga noko u-bully akwenze kumntanakho kugxininisa kwi-bully esikhundleni somntwana wakho. Zama ukuba neengxoxo eziqhelekileyo nomntwana wakho kwaye ubone ukuba uvakalelwa njani. Emva koko, thabathe amanyathelo okumnceda ahambe ngaphaya koxhatshazo.
Ekugqibeleni, unokuthetha naye ngokuxolela umxhaphazi . Ukuthethelela kungekuphela nje kwakha ukuzinza , kodwa kuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba abuyise amandla akhe kwimeko. Khumbula, ukuxolelwa kukhetha kwaye uvumela umntwana wakho ukuba akhuphe ukungabikho kwimeko kwaye aqhubeke.
"Melana Nomlilo Ngomlilo."
Ngamanye amazwi, oko abantu abakuthethayo kukuba umntwana wakho uyamxhaphaza. Esi siphakamiso sinokubandakanya nantoni na ukuhlazisa esidlangalaleni umxhaphazi kwi-Intanethi ukusasaza iindlebe . Abanye banokuba bacebise i- subtweeting , ukuthumela kwi-media media okanye ukuba nomngcipheko okanye besongela umntu onokuxhaphaza. Nangona ezi ziphakamiso zingafumana umxhaphazi ukuba ayeke ukujolisa kumntwana wakho, nazo zenza umxhaphazi naye. Zibuze ukuba ufuna ngokwenene umntwana wakho ukuba anciphise imilinganiselo yakhe kwinqanaba lomxhaphazi.
Esikhundleni sokukhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba abe lixhoba lokuxhaphaza , mcedise ukuba afunde indlela yokulwa nokuxhaphazwa ngendlela ephilileyo. Amaxesha amaninzi abantwana bathatha ukuxhatshazwa kwabo kwaye bajika ibe yinto entle. Ngokomzekelo, abanye abantwana baya kuqala iqela lokuxhasa abanye abantwana abaxhatshazwayo. Okanye, banokuthi baqhube phambili kwiphankaso yokukhusela ukuxhatshazwa esikolweni.
Omnye umzekelo womfundi owenza oko nje nguCainlin Haacke, owathi wenza iSuku sePositive Post-It esikolweni sakhe. Emva kokuxhatshazwa, esikhundleni sokungenelela entlungu ayenayo, waya esikolweni waza wabeka i-Post-It amanqaku ngamazwi achukumisayo kunye akhuthazayo kwi-locker yomntu wonke. Ukususela kulo msebenzi omnye, yonke intshukumo yazalwa. Kwaye, okubaluleke ngakumbi, kwamvumela ukuba athole injongo ekuxhatshazweni ayenayo. Akusekho ixhoba, kodwa wayesebenzisa oko akufumene ukuba ancede abanye abantu.
"Xoxa Ngaphandle."
Ezinye izikolo kunye namashishini asacinga ukuba ukubeka umxhaphazi kunye nexhoba kwigumbi elinye kuluvo oluhle. Kodwa ukuxolelana akusebenzi nto ngenxa yokungalingani kwamandla okukhoyo phakathi kwezi zibini.
Enye yezinto ezintathu eziphambili zokuxhatshazwa kukuba umenzi wobubi unamandla amakhulu kunokuba kujoliswe. Ukuzama ukuxoxisana okanye ukuthetha ngaphandle kuya kushiya kuphela ixhoba elixhatshaziweyo. Amaxesha amaninzi, amaxhoba okuxhatshazwayo ayesaba kakhulu ukuthetha aze athethe malunga noko kwenzeka ntoni. Okona, ukuxhatshazwa kwabasebenzisa ukwesatshiswa ngexesha lokuxoxisana ukuthulisa ixhoba. Ukufikelela enyanisweni yento eyenzekayo ayiyi kuphuma kulezi ziganeko.
Ukuba isikolo somntwana wakho sichaza ukuxolelana, musa ukuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba athathe inxaxheba. Eli nyathelo aliyi kunceda umntwana wakho kwaye kunokukhokelela ekuhlaselweni okungakumbi. Esikhundleni saloo ndlela, cebisa ukuba abaphathi besikolo bathethe kunye nexhoba, umxhaphazi kunye nabagadi bezilwanyana ngokwahlukileyo. Ngale ndlela, umntwana wakho uya kukhululeka ukwabelana ngeakhawunti yakhe yenzeke ngaphandle kokwesaba. Kwakhona, qiniseka ukuba amanyathelo athatyathwa ukukhusela ubumfihlo bakho nabakhuseleko bakho. Ukwesaba ukuphindisela kuyinyani.
Abalawuli besikolo banemilinganiselo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, umthwalo wokugcina umntwana wakho ukhusele esikolweni. Qinisekisa ukuba benza konke abakwaziyo ukuphelisa ukuxhatshazwa kuphela kodwa ukugcina umntwana wakho ukhusele kwiziganeko ezizayo.