Kutheni kufanele ulungise ezi ziphatha kakubi ngoku, ngaphambi kokuba abantwana bekhulile
Kungekudala, ndabona iziganeko ezimbi zokuziphatha kakubi kwiintsana ezintathu ezahlukahlukeneyo, ngeveki enye. Lawa onke ahlukeneyo abantwana beentlobo ezahlukeneyo kunye nemvelaphi eyahlukeneyo kwiintsapho ezahlukeneyo, kunye nakwizicwangciso ezahlukeneyo. Into kuphela ababefana ngayo kukuba babonakala bephakathi kwe-10 no-12, kwaye babeziphatha ngokukrakra.
Kwisiganeko sokuqala, intombazana yayithetha nam ngeendlela ezimbi xa ndabuza abazali bakhe nombuzo olula.
Abazali babethandekayo, kodwa intombi yabo yahlwaywa kum kwaye yonke into yayibiza ukuba iyisichukulo ngokubacela ukuba bafumane ulwazi malunga nento ethile. (Akunjalo, umbuzo wam wawungenangqondo.) Enye into endiyibonayo - ngaphandle kokunyelisa kwakhe - kukuba abazali bakhe abazange bashukumise ukulungisa okanye ukubeka izimvo malunga nokuziphatha kwakhe.
Umzekelo wesibini wokuziphatha kakubi kubandakanye inkwenkwe eqhubeka igxotha ngapha nangona izicelo zothisha ziphindaphindiwe ukuyeka ngexesha lokuya kwiimyuziyam. Wayenexesha elikhawulezileyo lokufundisa isifundo esibalulekileyo, kwaye lo mntwana wabangela ukuba izinto ziqhutywe ngokukhawuleza kwaye zithatha ixesha lootitshala kunye namandla ukusuka kwikhosi yonke ngenxa yokuba wayedla ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuziphatha kwakhe okubi.
Umzekelo wesithathu ubandakanye inkwenkwe ebonakala ngathi ineqela lezingane kwixesha lokuzalwa kwiifilimu. Umntwana waqala ukuphonsa i-popcorn kuyo yonke indawo ngaphandle kokunyamekela abo bajikelezile, kwaye waqhubeka ekwenza oko nangona abazali bebacela ukuba bayeke ngokuphindaphindiweyo.
(Ekugqibeleni bafanele bathathe i-popcorn, kodwa waqhubeka ephazamisayo.)
Emva kokuba ndibone le mizekelo yezinto ezimbi, akukho mhle, ukuziphatha kakubi ebantwaneni, ndacinga malunga nokuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukuphazamisa ezinye zezi ziphatha kakubi kwi-bud budha abantwana bebancinci. Ukuba uvumela umntwana ukuba atyekele ukwenza izinto ezinqabileyo, ukungabi nhlonipho, okanye ukungcola kwaye azame ukulungisa ezi ziphathayo xa efikelela ebuntwaneni, kuya kuba nzima kakhulu ukuguqula loo nqanawa.
1. Ukungahloneli
Kukho isizathu sokuba lo mkhuba wokuziphatha ubale enye kuleluhlu. Xa abantwana behlala bengakuhloneli okanye omnye umntu omdala, ngokuqinisekileyo bathumela umyalezo ocacileyo kunye ocacileyo ukuba bacinga ukuba kufuneka baqwalasele indlela abanye abavakalelwa ngayo okanye bacinge ngayo. Akunakuphatha ngokuhlonela kunye nokuziphatha kakubi kwabanye abantu ngumkhuba omubi ukuba abantwana bangakwazi ukukhula ngokukhawuleza ngaphandle kokuba ubazise ngokukhawuleza ukuba abayi kunyamezela.
Ukuba umntwana wakho uthetha ngomntu wakho okanye umntu omdala ngokugqithiseleyo okanye esebenzisa umva , mthabathe ngasecaleni nje emva kweso siganeko uze umxelele ngasese ukuba akayi kuvunyelwa ukuba athathe inxaxheba kwimicimbi emnandi okanye uya kulahlekelwa ukufikelela kwizinto azithandayo , njengemidlalo yevidiyo okanye ixesha leTV, ngaphandle kokuba ufunde indlela yokuphatha abanye ngendlela afuna ukuphathwa ngayo. Yaye qiniseka ukuba uhlala ubonisa imbeko xa usebenzisana nomntwana wakho ukuze afunde ngomzekelo. Ndiyabulela xa enokwenza okuthile kuwe, uthi "nceda," kwaye umphathe ngokuhlonipha.
2. Ukunyaniseka , kungekhona ukuphulaphula
Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantwana abangayihloneli igunya abaphulaphuli. Nangona umntwana wakho enokuphazamiseka ngokwenene okanye ukukhawuleza xa kufuneka uziphinda kaninzi, kunokwenzeka ukuba akaphulaphulanga ngenxa yokuba engacingi ukuba kuya kuba nayiphi na imiphumo yokungalaleli.
Ukuba uya kukunyanzela ngokuzithandela kwaye wenza into oyicelayo ukuba angayenzi (okanye ngokuphambene nayo), umqeqesha ngokukhawuleza. Mthabathe esenzweni, nokuba sisidlo seentsapho okanye umdlalo wokudlala, kwaye umcele ukuba abuyele kwakhona xa ecinga ukuba kutheni ukhetho lwakhe lokungahoywa nto aluvunyelwanga. Mvumele ukuba abuye kwaye akubonise indlela "angenza ngayo" loo mizuzu edlulileyo kwaye abe ngumphulaphuli ongcono. Ukuba uyayenqaba, umnike iziphumo (njengokungenakufumana into afuna ukulahlekelwa ngamalungelo njengexesha kunye nabahlobo okanye iTV okanye ixesha lekhompyutha).
3. Ukungabi nambulelo nokukrakra
Kukho izinto ezimbalwa ezingathandekiyo kunabantwana abaphangiweyo, abanomdla, nabanelungelo lokuzimela kunye nefuthe .
Nangona kungokwemvelo ukuba abazali bafune ukunika abantwana babo izinto abazifunayo kunye nezidingo zabo, ukunika abantwana phantse yonke into abayifunayo kwaye bayifunayo ngokuqinisekileyo.
Ukuphepha ukuphanga abantwana kunye nokubathintela ekugxileni ekufumaneni izinto abazifunayo, bavumele ukuba bafumane okanye bagcine imali yesibonelelo sokuthenga ezinye zezinto abazifunayo. Bafundise indlela yokuva novelwano kunye nokuzithandela nabo ukunceda abanye. Ukufundisa abantwana ukuba babe nobubele kwaye bacinge ngalabo abangenazo izinto abazenzayo yindlela ephezulu yokunciphisa ukunyanzela nokukhuthaza ukuba baqonde into abanayo.
4. Ukukhawuleza, ukunyusa
Nangona iyakwazi ukuqondakala kumntwana okanye umntwana ongasesikolweni ukuba abe yi-cranky kwaye abe ne-meltdowns, ebona ukukrazula okupheleleyo kunye nokulila (kunye nokuziphatha kwakhe okungafanelekanga, umzala oneminyaka engama-10 ubudala). Umntwana oneminyaka emi-5 okanye oneminyaka engama-6 unokuhlaselwa ngokukhawuleza, kodwa kufuneka babe endleleni yabo yokufunda indlela yokubangela ukukhungatheka ngendlela elawulwayo, ezolile neyokuhlonipha.
Ngexesha elizayo umntanakho uphonsa ukulungelelanisa, mcele ukuba angene kwigumbi okanye kwikona aze ahlale phantsi ade aziva ehla. Emva kokuba sele ehlaziya iimvakalelo zakhe kwaye uyayiphulaphula, uthetha ukuba kutheni i-dawn iyakwenza kube lula ukuba uya kufumana into ayifunayo. Xoxa malunga nendlela angayilungisa ngayo imeko ngakumbi kwaye umcele ukuba ayeke, uthathe umoya ophefumlelweyo kwaye ucinge ngezo zinto zikhethileyo ngexesha elizayo xa eziva ekhungathekile.
5. Ukuxhatshazwa
Abazali bahlala bexhalabisa ukuba umntwana wabo unokuxhatshazwa , kwaye bathethe nezingane zabo malunga nokwenza ntoni ukuba oko kwenzeka. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba umntwana wakho ungumxhaphazi ? Thetha nomntwana wakho ngokukhawuleza ukuba uyakrokrela okanye ufumene ukuba uyintetho kunye nolaka kumntu kwaye uye wenza ukuhleba, ukuhleka okanye ukuziphatha kakubi. Fumana isizathu sokuba wenza ezi zinto kwaye uthethe ukuba kutheni ukuxhatshazwa kungavumelekanga kwaye kuyingozi kumntu olixhoba kunye naye.
6. Ukukhohlisa
Bonke abantwana baqala ukulala ngexesha elithile, kwaye abantwana bancinci abakwazi ukuhlula phakathi kobuxoki nokudlala. Kodwa njengoko abantwana bekhula, banokuthetha ngamanga ngamabanga ngenxa yezizathu ezithile (ukuphepha ukufumana ingxaki, umzekelo).
Ukuba umntwana wakho wenza umkhwa wokutshela i-fibs, thabatha amanyathelo ngokukhawuleza ukuze ufumene oko kusemva kokuziphatha, cacisa ukuba ufuna ukuba bayeke, kwaye ubonise ukuba kutheni ukuxoka kungonakalisa ubudlelwane.
7. Ukukopela
Ingaba ngumdlalo webhodi okanye omnye ukhuphiswano oludlala, abanye abantwana abasenokuba bakhohlisa nje ngokuba bafuna ukunqoba. Kodwa abantwana abakhulileyo, abahlakulela ukuqonda okulungileyo nokungalunganga, bangakhohlisa ngamabomu (bathi, ekuvavanyeni esikolweni). Xoxa nomntwana wakho malunga nokuba ukukopela kunciphisa njani impumelelo yabo kwaye kugcizelela ukubaluleka kokudlala okufanelekileyo.
Ukusingatha ezi ziphatha kakubi ngoku kuya kukushiya unombulelo kamva xa / xa ubona abanye abantwana benza into engafanelekanga kwaye baziphathe kakubi. Emva koko, ngubani ofuna ukuxhonywa kunye nentombazana engenangqondo okanye ebethayo?